At what age would you say a someone becomes an adult

[Availablemilkdotcom]

Just that really. I know 18 is the legal age but it seems that attitudes have shifted a lot in recent years with regards to what is age appropriate and when so I wondered what age in your opinion you become an adult and why?

@DaisyWaldron

According to several posters here, a single 50 year old woman who has spent her working life in low-paid, non-"career" jobs is still a child. Are low-paid workers this century's version of the old maid?

Low paid non-career jobs including caring, retail and hospitality work. All jobs require dealing with the public in some capacity and proactively engaging with them.

Generally there tends to be a big difference between hospitality and retail staff in their 50s and in those in their late teens in terms of attitude and proactivity.

So it is clear the former are adults and the latter aren't.

(I can't say about caring staff as I've heard complaints and complements about people from both age groups from people who have carers. )

@emilylily

I think around about 25 when your brain is fully developed.

I agree with this. I've noticed a huge increase in maturity in my sons since they turned 25.

I feel like I became a proper grown up and not just a kid who could vote when I started my first proper job out of uni at about 22/23 and then a real adult once i had done that job for a couple of years and managed my own bills and life for a couple more years, so 24/25. This was also the age at which I had a relationship where we were both living like grown ups and treated each other like grown ups and weren’t just a couple of teenagers drinking cider and having dramatic arguments. It’ll be different for everyone depending on their circumstances though.

@juneybean

At 36 I'm still waiting to become an adult.

I came to say the exact same thing 😂

I think the fact that older people have more perspective and can give good advice is true. But (in my 50s) I probably have more perspective than in my 30s. I was certainly a fully grown adult by then.

This brain chemistry thing is, I think, vastly overblown. Apparently, one’s white matter peaks around age 40 (so, is still developing until then). Are people going to claim, on that basis, that adulthood begins at 40?!

Young adults are less risk averse than older adults, but that has pluses as well as minuses. Are we really going to say that most mathematical and scientific advances were made by children (most are under 25).

This is all very academic until you see the way some parents impose an extended childhood on their children by babying them. If you write all their professional e mails, personal statements etc etc for them, and do not allow them to grow up by making mistakes and learning from them, of course, at 21, they will present as children.

@emilylily

I think around about 25 when your brain is fully developed.

So you'd be happy for you and your chilred not to be able to vote, get a credit card, get married, buy a drink, cigarettes, gets loan, buy a house, have certain jobs etc until they were 25?

I think in maturity terms it totally depends on the person and the situation they are in.

For me it was 15. That’s when my Nana started with dementia and running the house became my job. I also had to decide if I was going to leave school in the summer and get a full-time job (as I was being pressured to do by myself siblings) or stay on at school and keep my part-time job.

I think the biggest step to maturity is when you get your first job. Even if it’s only a Saturday job it teaches a lot. The fact kids get weekend jobs much later, if they can get them, is one of the reasons they are much younger longer imo.

Young adult 18-24
Adult 25-40
Middle aged Adult- 40-60

I think the biggest step to maturity is when you get your first job. Even if it’s only a Saturday job it teaches a lot. The fact kids get weekend jobs much later, if they can get them, is one of the reasons they are much younger longer imo.

Speaking as someone who got her first Saturday job selling fruit & veg on a market stall at 14, I couldn’t agree more.

I would say, realistically, 25.

18, you are a young adult but an adult. You have adult responsibilities and rights.

@BuffySummersReportingforSanity

Eighteen.

I think the increasing infantilisation of older teens and early twenties adults has done them no favours.

This. Every legal restriction on your liberty dissolves at this age.

25

Our ASD parenting course kept talking about how the brain keeps developing until 25 in a dont give up hope way. So i suppose i think of 16-25 year olds as young adults with still lots of room to grow but to do that they need to be able to be responsible for things with just a guide on hand.

I don't think there is a set age whereby you can consider someone adult because people mature and go through different life experiences at different ages. Sure, from a legal perspective it makes sense to have defined ages for specific purposes, but in reality I know 18 year olds I'd happily trust with my life, and conversely, 22 year olds who can't feed themselves if left to their own devices.

25

It's a gradual process - I'd say mid 20s.

Not 18. My children weren't adults at 18. But I suppose if you're forced to leave home, get a job, have a baby, pay your rent etc at 18, then you might be more adult. I certainly wasn't.

Real maturity comes through both age and practice/experience. You have to have the phase where you are legally able to make a decision but are immature/inexperienced to develop your maturity.

I think the people saying that someone is not adult until 25 are a) factually incorrect and b) potentially holding their children back.

The human brain may no tbe fully mature until 25, but in our society, you are an adult and able to start practicing what that means at 18.

Being and adult is not the same as having a fully mature brain. If you do not take on the mantle of being an adult at 18, surely even though your brain matures, you are then inexperienced at 25?

@Kite22 NHS Stages of Puberty page backs up what I said so assume it is based on evidence. Anecdotally, DD16 seems to have stopped growing (same height / shoes / clothes sizes for over a year) and DS younger so can’t say though friends’ DC seem to generally back that up though there’s always exceptions. I know my dad didn’t start growing until he was 18!

According to MIL 25 year old BIL is "still a baby"... he is the only baby with a widows peak i have ever met.

I would agreed with PP who said it is a gradual process that is different for everyone. I would say I was about 17 when I became an 'adult', I was managing work and education, paying bills etc etc, I have a sibling who I'd say was about the same and then two who are in their mid twenties and still maturing I don't think it changes over night.

The human brain is fully developed at 25
To say an adult is someone who is 18 is a legal definition not routed in science.

I don't think young people should be infantilised and you need to have responsibility in order to grow. All that doesn't change the fact that the brain isn't fully developed at 18 and decisions you would have made then are probably different to the ones you make at 30.

When I meet an 18 year old I don't think of them as an adult to be honest - they have all the legal rights of an adult, but they are just big children really

@LivingLaVidaBabyShower

According to MIL 25 year old BIL is "still a baby"... he is the only baby with a widows peak i have ever met.

Crying 😂😂😂

With hindsight now in my mid fifties my answer is: You technically become an adult at 16, perhaps 18 at the latest. However, wisdom develops later, and you have a lot of growing to do. That time between 16 and 25 are quite vulnerable years. Especially for women who from my experience are open to all kinds of exploitation in their early adult years. So even when our kids are adults, and we cannot direct, we should still be gently guiding.