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Original poster

At what age would you say a someone becomes an adult

137 replies

Availablemilkdotcom · 07/08/2021 14:52

Just that really. I know 18 is the legal age but it seems that attitudes have shifted a lot in recent years with regards to what is age appropriate and when so I wondered what age in your opinion you become an adult and why?

OP posts:
bananafruitcake · 07/08/2021 15:47

25

CaptainMerica · 07/08/2021 15:49

I was an adult at 16. I moved over 100 miles away from home, took on student debt and stopped consulting my parents about my life decisions.

I can't imagine viewing my own kids as adults at that age.

tilder · 07/08/2021 15:50

@TeenMinusTests

To me it is an ongoing process from 16-25. Some will get there sooner than others. Ideally an adult would be 'adulting' properly:
  • financially independent from their parents
  • able to make sensible decisions thinking through possible outcomes
  • have the skills to live independently (cook, clean, budget etc)
  • holding down a job
  • not be reliant on parental lifts to go to work etc

NB Before I get shouted at. this doesn't mean that anyone who doesn't meet those criteria isn't an adult. But an 18yo still at college, reliant on parents, not helping out at home isn't in my view a full functioning adult, even if they are legally one.

This. Legally 18. However emotionally, practically and financially it's on a sliding scale.
CatAlice · 07/08/2021 15:50

@emilylily

I think around about 25 when your brain is fully developed.
This. I have two adult DC. They seemed grown up at 18, they were independent and obviously legally adults. It's been interesting to observe the changes in them as they mature past 18 and up to 25.
kowari · 07/08/2021 15:51

About 100 years ago or less, many left school at 14 and got jobs, some got married.
About 100 years ago two of my great grandparents left home at 11 and 12.

LadyCatStark · 07/08/2021 15:55

18 and the idea that people in their early 20s aren’t adults yet is the reason why so many young adults are massively blowing their chances at DH’s work and ruining what could be a great career (I know it’s frowned upon to talk about your DH’s opinion as if it’s your own but I mainly work with 40-60 year olds!).

essentialhealing · 07/08/2021 16:06

18

EBearhug · 07/08/2021 16:12

Legally 18, but you still get some trust funds etc where people don't get full control until 25, so I think it's a sliding scale, and some people get there earlier than others. I think 18 is fine as a broad general rule.

kittenkipping · 07/08/2021 16:14

Ladycatstark- despite my answer of 13-25 I completely agree that young people are coming completely unprepared into the workplace! It's a real problem in my industry (trade) as apprentices are just infantile and unable to function as an adult with a job. I, and most of my generation , were living alone , paying bills and holding down a job at 16. That was the norm and the level of responsibility and ownership of my behaviour that was expected of me at that age , at that time. I wish it were still the norm. Although, whilst I think that 16-25 year olds of today (not all) need a heavy entitlement check and need to grow up , I still don't think I was a proper adult at 16 even if I had the job and the responsibility.

Peanutbuttercupisyum · 07/08/2021 16:15

I don’t feel like I became an adult until I was 30, had 3 children and had passed my driving test! Until then I obviously had responsibilities but I still felt like a teen pretending to be an adult. Certainly at university there is NO WAY I was an adult. The 21 yr olds I know still seem quite child like to me. 16 is 100% a child.

Parker231 · 07/08/2021 16:15

18 - the end of being at home for education and the moving onto Uni and having to make your own decisions.

amusedbush · 07/08/2021 16:15
  1. The brain hasn’t finished developing before then and even though I had moved out and was working full time at 20, I was a complete dickhead.

There is a difference between legal age of adulthood and actually being able to support yourself independently, make rational decisions and consider consequences.

You can’t rent a car at 18, presumably because people under 25 (or whatever the age is) are more impulsive and can’t be trusted yet…

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/08/2021 16:16

I think becoming a proper adult is something that happens at different ages. Usually something forces the situation:
-having children
-getting married
-full time career job
-owning/renting a house and being responsible for all the bills

I became an adult at 19 (very nearly 20) when DD1 was born. Not long after, I started my career job as a teacher, bought a house and got married. If you can be young and carefree for longer, why wouldn’t you?

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 07/08/2021 16:17

18

wordsareveryunnecessary · 07/08/2021 16:25

18 .
My DS is 15 and really immature. Who in their right mind thinks they can legally marry at that age ??

wordsareveryunnecessary · 07/08/2021 16:25

Bit missing "marry at 16"

Kite22 · 07/08/2021 16:29

When a person no longer does childish things,

Well, that rules out many people I know in their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s Grin

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 07/08/2021 16:32

Legally 18 as you say but actually being an adult? It varies from person to person. I've known some adult 18 year olds and I've known some people in their 60s who need to grow the fuck up. Adulthood isn't in the age, it's in the behaviour.

SubtitlesRequired · 07/08/2021 16:34

Where are people getting the idea from that you are an adult at 15/16?

It simply isn't true.

You can legally get married in Scotland without parental consent at 16.
At 16 I had a full time job and shared a flat with a friend. Not saying I was mature and making sensible decisions but I was an adult.

The age a 'child' will be adult like and able to make independent decisions will largely be down to how well their parents have prepared them. I don't hold out much hope for those 15 year olds who still aren't allowed any freedom, for example, and there's plenty of them if MN threads are to be believed.

Kite22 · 07/08/2021 16:36

I have two adult DC. They seemed grown up at 18, they were independent and obviously legally adults. It's been interesting to observe the changes in them as they mature past 18 and up to 25.

This. Well, I have 3, between 25 and 19, but I'd agree with this.
Yes, mine can all budget, cook, do first aid, open bank accounts, deal with land lords, etc etc at 18, but my 25yr old is very different from when he was 18.

Kite22 · 07/08/2021 16:38

I, and most of my generation , were living alone , paying bills and holding down a job at 16.

How old are you exactly @kittenkipping ?
I'm mid 50s and that certainly wasn't my experience. It would have been very unusual to be living on your own at 16. Couldn't afford to on a YOP, for one.

TheNinny · 07/08/2021 16:42

I think it could vary depending on a persons circumstances, as many say they ‘had to grow up quickly’ etc. I wasn’t completely financially independent from my parents until I had a full time job and moved out and could rent on own (at 27) and this was when I felt completely arrived as an adult. I’d lived independently and worked while at uni in other country from age 18 and returned to the Uk at 25 but still had financial help despite working part time etc. To me, it’s more of a feeling like there is no one to pick up the slack, sort of thing. I always new if my circumstances went up in smoke my parents would bail me out (🙈). It’s different now as I have my own family and now sole carer for my surviving parent. There is no one else save me now 😐

Bluntness100 · 07/08/2021 16:44

I think everyone is different, people mature at different ages, and I assume you’re talking about maturing into adult hood as you already state you’re fully aware we are legally adults at 18.

For me I also think it’s a gradual process. From about 17 on, completed at about 25.

Kendodd · 07/08/2021 16:45

18
And parents should stop treating them like helpless babies imo.

GameSetMatch · 07/08/2021 16:51

18 but I think they still need a bit of parenting until 21.