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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My fucking neighbours

74 replies

Besswess88 · 07/08/2021 08:13

Two ladies live next door, each have a son.

The boys share the master bedroom which is the attached side to my bedroom.

The stairs (also adjoining side) are not carpeted as are not the downstairs floors.

I accept there will be noise, I accept one/both children will jump from the 4th from last stair to the ground every fucking time. I accept the children will run around the entire house shouting until 11pm most nights during the holidays, making me sometimes wonder if they are in my actual fucking house.

What I cannot accept, after a hard weeks graft at work is being woken up at 7 fucking am to yelling, singing and jumping around from the adjoining bedroom for an hour which now means I am unable to get back to sleep. FFS Angry

OP posts:
Rowgtfc72 · 07/08/2021 13:25

@HarrietSchulenberg you don't live next door to my old neighbours do you?
After 9 months of them shagging and her screaming I put a note through the door that said - we can her you shagging at 4am, please keep it down.
She was out in the garden the next day when I was. I said good morning and she shot in. They kept their shagging to daylight hours after that. 🤣

contentedcake · 07/08/2021 13:30

OMG my neighbours are nocturnal in the holidays and weekends, i do not understand how those two boys manage to switch the routine up for school Monday-Friday.

Soon as 11pm hits, they wake up, banging, running, I thought I had a poltergeist it sounds like it's from my home. It's ridiculous.

I was patient thinking oh my baby will arrive soon, see how they like a screaming baby all night, but no my baby sleeps through! And my toddler is quiet at night

At 11am yesterday they had the audacity to bang on the wall! Because my 3 year old was playing with her drilling toy GrinGrinGrin THATS when I told them in the garden about their night antics so I sure won't quiet in the daytime to suit their nocturnal weirdness and no they don't do night shifts I checked!

AngryWhompingWillow · 07/08/2021 13:45

@54321nought

if you live in an ajoinging house, you get ajoinging noise - this is just movement noise, nothing you can do about it. If it was loud music, that would be different
I think 'adjoinging' might be mu new favourite word. Grin

@Besswess88 I feel for you massively. You could have a word with the neighbours, but it sounds like you may need to move!

If it's not that easy, can you move bedrooms?

AngryWhompingWillow · 07/08/2021 13:46

MY new favourite word. Not mu!

user1471538283 · 07/08/2021 13:52

I would put them straight right now. I think most people know they are being noisy.

idontunderstandbananas · 07/08/2021 14:19

I've come to the conclusion over the years that most people don't care if they're disturbing their neighbour and they carry on doing whatever the fuck they want to do regardless if it's pushing you over the edge and completely destroying neighbour relations.
My attached neighbour has installed a very large and loud tv on the party wall and it blasts out all day and night even when he's not in the house (I saw him outside for an hour while the tv was blasting through!!!!!!!!). 'It sounds ok on my side' is apparently his excuse to keep doing it. Turning my (much smaller tv) up as loud as it will go doesn't even touch the noise this man's monstrosity produces.
On the other side of me is the back fence for another neighbour. They've decided to build their patio right up against the fence and they've wired it for sound! So I get their shite music blasting through the other side of my house most days and evenings and then them yelling over the music because it's too loud for them to talk at normal levels even though they are sitting right next to each other. They feel they are in their garden and they can make as much noise as they like. They can't see a problem so have continued despite me asking them to please turn it down, please move the patio to anywhere else in your huge garden, please only blast music certain hours so I can work from home (due to pandemic) and sleep at night.

Both of these neighbours are in their mid to late 60's so I don't think noise just comes from children (if you're considering a move).

nooschmoo · 07/08/2021 14:21

I know what you mean, OP. I live in a terrace with a HMO next door, never had an issue until 18 months ago & a man moved into the room adjoining my bedroom. He played loud music daily, noisy sex, loud tv, but the worst was his ongoing feud with his girlfriend’s ex partner-constant shouting, threatening phone calls at all hours. Threats to ‘fucking kill ya’, regular yelling that he (ex boyfriend) was ‘a fucking cunt’ and constant vile language. I was roundly told to ‘fuck off’ when I asked him to keep the noise down. My 2 DDs bedroom is above mine, also on the adjoining wall to him but above, and they could hear all of this.
So I tackled it a few ways.

  1. I contacted his landlord and threatened to complain to the council if he didn’t have a word.
  2. Shelled out for the best soundproofing I could afford on both my and DDs bedroom walls and also between the floorboards in both rooms.
  3. Replaced the old carpet in DDs with thick underlay and thick carpet, with rugs on top. (Mine already had that)
  4. Moved the rooms around so that beds were as far away as possible from the adjoining wall, and put wardrobes, book cases, toy boxes etc along that wall to help muffle sound.
  5. I also invested in good quality noise reducing headphones for all of us.

Yes, I’m pissed off that I had to fork out for something that’s not my fault, but honestly it was money well spent. Obviously, when he decides to play loud music we hear it quite clearly, but we no longer feel as though he’s in the room with us-DDs barely hear him at all anymore, and it’s rare for me. I also believe the landlord said something to him.

Essentially my advice to you, is take control & do as much as you can to mitigate it from your side, because otherwise you’ll just be constantly tense about it & it’ll ruin your peace.

Fumnudge · 07/08/2021 14:22

We soundproofed the wall. Makes a huge difference. You lose some space in your room but so worth it.

Tistheseason17 · 07/08/2021 14:24

I had noisy neighbours. Screaming and shouting arguments at each other and their children all day and night.
I bought ear plugs and played music into the early hours every time they were noisy.
Their excessive noise stopped.

MindyStClaire · 07/08/2021 14:26

Children will wake early and play in their rooms, a very normal and reasonable thing to do. The parents probably don't realise how much you can hear on your side of the wall, just tell them politely and ask them to get the boys to move downstairs when they wake.

1forAll74 · 07/08/2021 14:38

Its up to the parents to tell children to keep the noise down, because of annoying the neighbours. I mean really loud noise, not the general children playing noise. It is ridiculous if children are allowed to stay up very late, and still be banging around the house at all hours. Bad for the children, bad for the parents, and bad for the neighbours.

If you are dealing with parents, who don't give a fig about anything, that will be the problem.

Needapoodle · 07/08/2021 14:45

7 am is not acceptable. At least control your little rugrats until 8 am, or better yet, 9.

Fuck that theyre in their own home.

Twoforthree · 07/08/2021 14:52

@romany4

I've got a neighbour like this. 9 year old son, a dog and wooden floors throughout. Spoken to the mum several times about the noise and she's just shrugged and said the walls are thin, boys are boys, nothing she can do. Well, I've got a newborn grandson now who likes to cry. She's not happy about the noise through the wall. Tough shit... I'll be letting him rampage through my house as he grows...and tell her...boys are boys. Nothing I can do...Walls are thin..
I’d be buying a musical instrument set to keep at your house, and as many other loud toys as you can find.
JesusIsAnyNameFree · 07/08/2021 14:58

@Needapoodle

7 am is not acceptable. At least control your little rugrats until 8 am, or better yet, 9.

Fuck that theyre in their own home.

Being in your own home doesn't mean you get to disturb your neighbours at 7 am on a Saturday. Get a fucking grip.
bogoffmda · 07/08/2021 15:07

OP I get your pain - have had 3 neightbours over 15 years on one side of a terrace.

Other than the odd shout, never heard any of them, the other side never a squeak.

New neighbours, drill talk, play music, loudly, sing scream - today the conversation between two of them has been about football, what people should not do at work, new job, when her parents are coming round. I can hear everything. At 1900 most evenings they start drilling and banging and sanding. Every Sunday, bang bang bang.

This is not the fault of the house being a terrace - this is selfish arseholes who told me that the party wall was their wall as well and they could drill it whenever they want - drilling at 2300 on a work night and I did ask them to stop.

I could go on - selfish entitled wankers

AntiFlag · 07/08/2021 15:09

Have you actually spoken to them OP?

KatherineJaneway · 07/08/2021 15:33

Fuck that theyre in their own home.

Doesn't mean they can't be considerate

ClaudiaWankleman · 07/08/2021 17:07

Yes, seriously. 7am is a normal waking hour, even if you would prefer to be in bed still. A lie in isn’t a right.

Needapoodle · 07/08/2021 17:33

Being in your own home doesn't mean you get to disturb your neighbours at 7 am on a Saturday. Get a fucking grip.

I've got a grip mate. You need to chill out a bit. small children wake up early and they're noisy. Don't like it, buy a detached house. I'm not going to constantly shush my children for 3 hours to suit my neighbors.

bluebeck · 07/08/2021 17:37

7am? That's surely a normal time for people to be up and about? Confused

If you can't handle it I guess you have to

a) Move
b) Try ear plugs
c) Get noise insulation.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 07/08/2021 17:42

@Needapoodle

Being in your own home doesn't mean you get to disturb your neighbours at 7 am on a Saturday. Get a fucking grip.

I've got a grip mate. You need to chill out a bit. small children wake up early and they're noisy. Don't like it, buy a detached house. I'm not going to constantly shush my children for 3 hours to suit my neighbors.

Yeah I already own a big detached house, so I don't ever need to deal with people like you, thank god.

But for the poor sods having to deal with people like you, it's very likely they don't have a choice in the matter. Who would choose to live attached to other people when people like you exist?

AllTheBabies1 · 07/08/2021 17:57

7am is a normal time to wake up. Children jump and play. They're nosy. They are allowed to live in their own home, even if you want a lie in. They aren't actually doing anything wrong. Unless you count being children as wrong. Ear plugs are the way forward I think.

Notsogoodhousekeeping · 07/08/2021 18:08

Some of these are making me feel better about shouting at my NDNs who decided that 3:30am was an acceptable time to start the hot tub up. I’m afraid I went out and shouted at them (I’m not proud) but the stupid pricks have put it right against our boundary fence below my bedroom window. His weak excuse was “we’re just having a few beers” - well have them inside, you selfish arseholes!

I rent, so I don’t have to tolerate it forever, but it’s tedious. And my previous neighbours were also really noisy so I’m starting to feel like I must have done some bad shit in a previous life! I’m trying to buy somewhere but can’t afford detached unfortunately. I’m really anxious about having noisy neighbours again. I’d welcome noisy kids at 7am over this pair next door though!

Chippingbird23 · 07/08/2021 18:15

I’ve got two young boys and honestly I can’t keep them quiet for long. I’ve tried everything some mornings if not bad weather I take them out early to a park or earliest soft play. Some mornings they have tried to be quiet whispering but it doesn’t last long. My 5 year old is getting better but 4 year old has no sense of noise at all. I apologise to neighbours and they are great but nighttime in summer they sleep later around 9-10 loads of kids in neighbourhood with noise etc. But she says at least they are sleeping through. It’s so hard. I’m aware they make a noise and try everything to give them leave next door as well.

HappydaysArehere · 07/08/2021 18:28

Years ago when my dd lived at home ( about 13) she played her music loudly in the day. I kept on at her to turn it down but it was a continual battle. The neighbour came around and asked if she could be quieter as it was really bothering them. I remember saying that I had been trying to get her to turn it down but now I could tell her that it is bothering them so it will have to stop. I then apologised for causing them the embarrassment of having to come around to say something. I remember how relieved she looked and from then on we became really good friends. So give them a chance.