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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get my 3yr old a tablet?

152 replies

Poptart4 · 06/08/2021 12:35

My 3 yr old sometimes plays toddler games on her sisters tablet. I've been thinking of getting her, her own tablet. A Vtech kids one. But I'm just not sure if this is too young to have a tablet? I would obviously monitor the amount of time she is on it, maybe 1hr per day maybe less definitely no more. I'm just not sure.

YABU - Shes too young
YANBU - Get her one

OP posts:
TH22 · 06/08/2021 12:40

YABU

Fankehxudb · 06/08/2021 12:56

I wouldn't.

firstimemamma · 06/08/2021 12:57

I wouldn't.

TeeBee · 06/08/2021 12:57

Honestly, as a parent of teenagers, once they're on screens it's nigh on impossible to get them off. She should be doing far more varied activities at 3. I really wouldn't.

LilyinWonderland · 06/08/2021 12:59

I would. Tablets are used in nurseries to help children get ready for using technology in school so, as long as you are very strict on screen time, go for it.

Iusedtobesoooomuchfun · 06/08/2021 13:01

To young. Way way way to young. I wouldn't give a child under 11 a tablet (yes I know, I'm the fucking fun police)

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 06/08/2021 13:01

I think it’s fine if you monitor as you’ve said, and just let her play games as she has so far. Just means you’ve got to be more “on it” in terms of regulating her use, but if you can do this then it’s fine.

Or maybe think of it as a “spare” tablet rather than hers, if you just going to use it so that she isn’t taking up her sister’s.

Inim · 06/08/2021 13:03

No I wouldn’t, my 4 year old throws absolute fits over the stupid thing I wish I never gave him one at all. I had good intentions of being super strict with a screen time etc but it’s just so easy when you need to get stuff done to let it lapse.

thanksforyourcommentrandomman · 06/08/2021 13:05

YABSU

messybun101 · 06/08/2021 13:06

Absolutely not

SusieBob · 06/08/2021 13:06

You'll know your own child but personally if you control access to it and use it sparingly it's totally fine as another way to keep them occupied, and counter to all the naysayers given technology is such a part of our lives it's good to introduce it in a safe way early. Having a p1 kid who was able to use a laptop make home learning so much easier.

purpleboy · 06/08/2021 13:06

@Inim

No I wouldn’t, my 4 year old throws absolute fits over the stupid thing I wish I never gave him one at all. I had good intentions of being super strict with a screen time etc but it’s just so easy when you need to get stuff done to let it lapse.
Exactly this!

We all have good intentions, and it starts of great, but the tantrums are not worth the hassle, also you find they don't want to do anything else and it's another fight trying to get them to engage in anything else. Ours has now been permanently banned and the improvement in her over mood and enthusiasm is unbelievable. Don't do it!!

Findahouse21 · 06/08/2021 13:07

I think it's hard to balance giving a child something and placing limits on them using it. Much better/easier in my mind, if you do want her to have access to one, that you have a shared family resource which you have ultimate control over

peboh · 06/08/2021 13:07

I got my dd one when she turned 2. However it was recommended by

LemonKitten · 06/08/2021 13:08

My youngest had one at 3 (now 11) and I monitored time and it's been fine.

I bought both my neices and both my nephews one at the same age - one set have no issues (monitored time, strict rules) the others have massive fits if not allowed on them and take them everywhere - visits to grandparents, days out etc - it's a nightmare.

My ex DsD had one at age 2, she came to us at weekends from 4 upwards and it was awful as she expected to be allowed one it all the time, would throw fits if we said turn it off, she literally couldn't be without it. In the end we banned it from our house (this was before my DD was born) - it took a few weekends of tantrums but eventually she realised we weren't giving in and from then on it was a non issue.

So YANBU as long as you can manage the situation, I think is what I am saying.

messybun101 · 06/08/2021 13:08

@Inim

No I wouldn’t, my 4 year old throws absolute fits over the stupid thing I wish I never gave him one at all. I had good intentions of being super strict with a screen time etc but it’s just so easy when you need to get stuff done to let it lapse.
Feel for you inim my SD is the same. I try to limit the screens at our house and it is a disaster every fucking time. She will not get off it. Falls asleep to it. Can't hold a conversation because her face is buried in it
peboh · 06/08/2021 13:08

Her portage support worker and her development paediatrician. (Sorry pressed post too quickly)
If my daughter wasn't neuro-diverse and it hadn't been recommended, I wouldn't have gotten her one.

LuxOlente · 06/08/2021 13:10

VTech had a massive data leak a year or so ago and their products are trash now.

And now, if you care about parenting well she should be playing toys and crayons and things, not being plonked on a tablet. They get quickly addicted and stop playing with the things they need to; schools reporting children who can't talk, use cutlery, draw, write, have no interest in reading or other people because they've spent months or years stuck on a tablet. It's a tragedy, not an aspiration.

LaProcureure · 06/08/2021 13:11

I wouldn’t. I’m like @Iusedtobesoooomuchfun and basically don’t allow tablet use for primary ages kids. And the argument that you’re some how depriving them in this technology based society is bollocks, because they’re all so easy to use. It’s not like people are using tablets to teach their preschoolers how to code…

All the people I know who’ve let their little kids have tablets have ended up letting them in there every day, often for several hours. These things are addictive, I think it’s madness.

Imcatmum · 06/08/2021 13:11

Hold off as long as you can. No matter how much you think you're going to police it, you won't. And she will love it to her detriment.

LuxOlente · 06/08/2021 13:13

@LilyinWonderland

I would. Tablets are used in nurseries to help children get ready for using technology in school so, as long as you are very strict on screen time, go for it.
Not in the nursery I send my children to, and I'd never send them to one who did.

Even primary schools in my area have stopped giving the kids tablets, though they were rarely used anyway. Thankfully. The children learn properly, with written work. The high schools here don't use them - the children learn to use proper computers, to type and use a mouse and learn to navigate correctly, on top of computer science.

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 06/08/2021 13:14

I used to give DS2 the kids' zone on my phone when he was potty training, just to keep him on the loo. He got his first tablet via a MN product test when he was 5, but only used it to keep him quiet in cafés.

SusieBob · 06/08/2021 13:15

@LuxOlente

VTech had a massive data leak a year or so ago and their products are trash now.

And now, if you care about parenting well she should be playing toys and crayons and things, not being plonked on a tablet. They get quickly addicted and stop playing with the things they need to; schools reporting children who can't talk, use cutlery, draw, write, have no interest in reading or other people because they've spent months or years stuck on a tablet. It's a tragedy, not an aspiration.

Alarmist much?
LuxOlente · 06/08/2021 13:16

@LaProcureure

I wouldn’t. I’m like *@Iusedtobesoooomuchfun* and basically don’t allow tablet use for primary ages kids. And the argument that you’re some how depriving them in this technology based society is bollocks, because they’re all so easy to use. It’s not like people are using tablets to teach their preschoolers how to code…

All the people I know who’ve let their little kids have tablets have ended up letting them in there every day, often for several hours. These things are addictive, I think it’s madness.

Tablets and phones are contributing more to technical illiteracy than anything else. Universities are finding that students cannot find a downloaded file, for example, or adjust their settings on a laptop, because they've so rarely used a mouse, don't understand filepaths or the control panel.

Their typing skills are poor, they are no longer taught correct Word processing skills so struggle submitting work, and they are not taught how to Google properly or identify decent sources.

School dropped these subjects in the 2000s as 'too simple' to children used to using desktop computers at home, but since parents gave them tablets, now children never use desktops and arrive at work unable to write a document, type at a decent speed, use a mouse or download/install software.

It's the next arena of digital illiteracy.

foobio · 06/08/2021 13:17

Rather than a vtech, I'd get a Kindle fire. It has a kids mode so you can lock it down to a very simple interface. My 5 & 2 year old have one each, only used on car journeys and flights, literally just have nexflix (kids) and busy things (school educational games) on it. As long as you have the will power (and hiding place) to regulate the use of it properly, then what's the issue?