To get my 3yr old a tablet?

[Poptart4]

My 3 yr old sometimes plays toddler games on her sisters tablet. I've been thinking of getting her, her own tablet. A Vtech kids one. But I'm just not sure if this is too young to have a tablet? I would obviously monitor the amount of time she is on it, maybe 1hr per day maybe less definitely no more. I'm just not sure.

YABU - Shes too young
YANBU - Get her one

What do you think she’ll gain from it?

I wouldn’t. I’m going to hold off on all technology with DD as long as I can. I’ve never once heard someone say they wish they’d given their child a device earlier while most wish they’d waited. We all grew up fine without them.

Get an Amazon Fire 10, but only put the various CBeebies apps on it and the Toca Boca apps.

My 3 year old has one. She plays on the CBeebies apps for half an hour here and there and has done so for about the last 6 months. It’s never caused any drama and we don’t have any trouble taking it away when it’s time to go and do something else.

There’s some alarmist stuff on here. Get one, don’t get one, the chances of it making much difference to any of your lives either way are small.

[quote brittleheadgirl]@SusieBob
Alarmist? Sadly not.

I've worked in early years for 30 years and the 'iPad generation' of children we are seeing now, have absolutely appalling fine motor control etc
They literally have none of the correct muscles ready for writing etc as unlike previous generations they are now spending lots of time using one finger to operate a tablet and doing less climbing, building, colouring, cutting etc
It's very sad to see and it's getting worse each year.[/quote]
But you must see that giving a kid supervised access to a tablet is not going to cause that. There are other factors at play as opposed to a binary "if you give your kid a tablet you are dooming them" binary position.

Moderated properly no kid is going to come to harm from using a tablet. Done to extremes, obviously there are issues but the same would be the case from anything from TV to a kid who does nothing but jigsaws. To blame it on the tablet rather than poor parenting is fundamentally wrong.

@AnneLovesGilbert

What do you think she’ll gain from it?

I wouldn’t. I’m going to hold off on all technology with DD as long as I can. I’ve never once heard someone say they wish they’d given their child a device earlier while most wish they’d waited. We all grew up fine without them.

My eldest has been gradually introduced to tech and now at age 7 is able to create games using simple programming languages. That's a pretty good gain in my book.

I didn't get my DD a Tablet until the Christmas she turned 3. I have a younger DS and was planning the same for him but he kept going after his sisters so we got him one early and honestly I don't regret it. He's not glued to it, his tablet is currently sat on the sofa and he is running around with every toy in the living room. He is 3 in September and his letter recognition is AMAZING, and I know this is solely due to the sesame street cookie game on his amazon kids fire. I know people can be screen snobs but there are benefits too and as long as you don't overdo the screen time there is nothing wrong with it in moderation.

@SusieBob
But how many people genuinely 'moderate' it properly?

Not a single parent has ever said 'I'm really sorry but he's on it all the time' Yet I see kids holding them in the car, round the supermarket, in restaurants etc and have seen in my own family appallingly over use of tablets.

It's not unusual for us to do home visits before a child starts school and there to be hardly any toys in the house or for a child not to look up from their gadget when we arrive.
This is a huge and mind boggling change to young children's lives and you are very very very naive if you think it's not impacting on their development.

I work with 4 year olds, tablet and phone use is affecting the muscle development in their hands, this is a new thing and not something we would have encountered a few years ago.
How can I ignore it?

We have from the age of about 2.5. it's a kindle fire, and there are loads of educational apps on there (as well as a lot of rubbish).

She can get a bit addicted, so we have to be restrictive with it, but its meant that my just turned 4yo is really good at puzzles, and mazes, and cam do simple multiplication/division, because the games make maths fun.

We obviously play with her a lot as well, and it's not a dominating part of her life, but it's both fun and educational.

Not a single parent has ever said 'I'm really sorry but he's on it all the time' Yet I see kids holding them in the car, round the supermarket, in restaurants etc and have seen in my own family appallingly over use of tablets.

I do hear parents admit their dc are on it too much. But seeing as only some children you see in these circumstances are on one it's safe to say most are regulated.

@AnneLovesGilbert

What do you think she’ll gain from it?

I wouldn’t. I’m going to hold off on all technology with DD as long as I can. I’ve never once heard someone say they wish they’d given their child a device earlier while most wish they’d waited. We all grew up fine without them.

Do you have a mobile phone? Your parents managed fine without one.

No, use that hour a day to develop her language skills, singing to her, reading to her, talking to her, playing games with her. That’s what three year olds need.

@Moonbabysmum

We have from the age of about 2.5. it's a kindle fire, and there are loads of educational apps on there (as well as a lot of rubbish).

She can get a bit addicted, so we have to be restrictive with it, but its meant that my just turned 4yo is really good at puzzles, and mazes, and cam do simple multiplication/division, because the games make maths fun.

We obviously play with her a lot as well, and it's not a dominating part of her life, but it's both fun and educational.

Lots of people ignore the educational aspects. It was reading online books during remote learning that really got DC1 engaged with reading. Up to that point it was a battle every evening. They now have no issues reading “proper” books, it’s not like they will only read on an iPad.

No, use that hour a day to develop her language skills, singing to her, reading to her, talking to her, playing games with her. That’s what three year olds need.

I'm sure OP can do that too, what about the at half hour where you need to drive and concentrate in heavy traffic, or send an important email, cook dinner? We can't be actively engaging at every moment

Don't get a vtech, get a proper tablet if you're going to get something. DC1 & 2 are 9 and 6, they have ipads which are brilliant. Dc3 is three and uses his brothers old kindle fire. He can build a house on Minecraft creative mode 🤷‍♀️ He can also count to 20, recognise the numbers written down and is getting the hang of letters now. We are a "gamer" household because of their dad so it's not a big deal for us. They're all developing as they should be and the older two are thriving academically so I take it with a pinch of salt when people say they should be reading a book or doing crafts instead 🙄

@liveforsummer

Not a single parent has ever said 'I'm really sorry but he's on it all the time' Yet I see kids holding them in the car, round the supermarket, in restaurants etc and have seen in my own family appallingly over use of tablets.

I do hear parents admit their dc are on it too much. But seeing as only some children you see in these circumstances are on one it's safe to say most are regulated.

The impact we're seeing in young children's development would suggest most parents are either in denial or have a very warped idea of what limited usage means!!

Absolutely no problem, my children both go on tablets, but overall screen time is the thing I monitor, be it TV/ computer games / iPad/ tablet. It's not Tv & tablet. It is annoying when they nag about it, but they don't nag about TV as they don't watch that very often. It's life now and I'm sure she'll still have 11+ hours a day left to play with crayons 😬

My just turned 5yo has had one for at least a year. He knows when I say it's time to come off that I mean it, I give him a 5 minute count down. He gets it maybe a couple of times a week for an hour at a time. He usually plays number games on it or watches kids YouTube.
We haven't had any issues with it. He still prefers playing with toys or other children, gets plenty of fresh air and exercise.

He's playing on it just now while I sort the baby / dinner for example. We've been out since 9.30 this morning, we had a 2 hour play date at a friends house then a long train trip to an aquarium and train trip back. We got in 30 mins ago. He'll come off it so we can all eat dinner together then we'll do some more thank you cards from his birthday then bath & bed. I don't see the issue if it's limited.

[quote LuxOlente]@SusieBob I don't know, I'm just saddened by four year olds that can't talk, use the toilet, hold a book or pencil and arrive at school like large babies, screeching for their tablet. I think that's a tragedy. Call it alarmist if you like.

I work in tech. I still think it's not for babies and toddlers who should be learning motor skills and speech.[/quote]
Yep, my four year olds can’t talk, are still in nappies and aren’t too interested in books. But one can use a tablet to speak in some complete sentences - a tablet provided as part of his EHCP as recommended by several professionals.

Take your judginess and bog off. Neurotypical children aren’t prevented from learning to talk by access to a tablet or anything else.

Not a single parent has ever said 'I'm really sorry but he's on it all the time' Yet I see kids holding them in the car, round the supermarket, in restaurants

Sorry but you are seeing a snap shot of someone's parenting. Not what goes on in their house 24/7.

The only research programme I have ever watched on little kids with access to tablets. Basically said kids with access to tablets had the same gross motor skills as kids without and actually had better fine motor skills.

[quote brittleheadgirl]@SusieBob
But how many people genuinely 'moderate' it properly?

Not a single parent has ever said 'I'm really sorry but he's on it all the time' Yet I see kids holding them in the car, round the supermarket, in restaurants etc and have seen in my own family appallingly over use of tablets.

It's not unusual for us to do home visits before a child starts school and there to be hardly any toys in the house or for a child not to look up from their gadget when we arrive.
This is a huge and mind boggling change to young children's lives and you are very very very naive if you think it's not impacting on their development.

I work with 4 year olds, tablet and phone use is affecting the muscle development in their hands, this is a new thing and not something we would have encountered a few years ago.
How can I ignore it?[/quote]
But how is a tablet any different to anything else that is potentially damaging in large doses? TVs? Gameboys when I was young etc?

I'm not denying that devices can be damaging, but the problem is not with the technology - just like when I was little if I had done nothing but watch the tv it was not the fault of the TV per say, it's poor parenting that is ultimately to blame. Used in moderation tablets can teach kids skills just like jigsaws etc. Used in place of parenting obviously there is going to be a problem, but the answer is not to say "oh, tablets are always harmful AVOID" when that's clearly not the solution.

I also don’t believe not being able to use a toilet has anything to do with using tablets. You mind find kids that leave it too late because they’re distracted, but that happens with toys as well.

If a 4 year old can’t use the toilet there are other reasons for that, whether it’s medical or poor parenting. But it’s tablet use.

@RainingZen

Oh people on this thread are so negative! Sure get one. Then only load up a few apps - the cbeebies one. Buy a proper iPad, and Osmo and as many games as you can from Ebay used , it is awesome and teaches them logic, shape, addition and subtraction, drawing skills, basic coding skills, spelling in real physical space but interacting with the screen.

And then obviously don't deprive your child of stickers and crayons and bike rides and baking and books and playdates. Just make the iPad something you play with sometimes. ( A good way for that to happen is let the battery run down, then it isnt always available. )

I'd much rather my child was playing games online or watching YouTube tutorials on how to draw cartoon characters than watching TV. And even if my kid IS watching films, I'm not that upset. Because my 10 y.o. is a perfectly well adjusted, potty-trained, knife-and-fork using, sociable, literate, witty conversationalist who is quite capable of using a mouse, navigating a file menu, running a Zoom call, building a basic database in Excel and typing a thank-you letter to her relatives. She is not an exceptional child, she is very normal and she knows the back catalogue of iPlayer, Netflix, Disney+ and Amazon Prime better than any 10 y.o. should but it has not harmed her that much, I'm certain of it. And she could tell me what sasparilla is aged 4 and I was pretty impressed, TV learning right there.

Does it make me a bad mum? I don't care.

It's not just, watch T. V or play on the tablet?!! That's stupid. Children should be playing. Who the hell let's their children only watch TV or play on a tablet?

@liveforsummer

No, use that hour a day to develop her language skills, singing to her, reading to her, talking to her, playing games with her. That’s what three year olds need.

I'm sure OP can do that too, what about the at half hour where you need to drive and concentrate in heavy traffic, or send an important email, cook dinner? We can't be actively engaging at every moment

You can do all those things without giving your child a tablet!

I don’t understand all the posters who say - but what about car trips / being stuck in traffic / waiting at the doctor / while I’m cooking dinner etc….the human race has survived millennia without being entertained 24/7. Why can’t children just sit in the car and stare out of the window? Why can’t they sit in the waiting room and have a chat with you? Why can’t they play on their own while you’re cooking dinner? Chat as you go around the supermarket?

If every bit of “in-between time” is filled with staring at a screen, how do small children learn resourcefulness and “making do” with what’s around them? Isn’t the world interesting enough?