Should dogs be allowed in more places?

[Patchworkknitter]

I'm a bit hurt today but I don't know if I'm being completely unreasonable.

A friend and I were trying to arrange to meet up. We had sorted what we were doing and then she changed her mind and wanted to change where we did something which would have added another 90 minutes onto the day.

I couldn't do that as my dog would already have been left all day (with 2 dog walks from a dog walker). Even with the dog walker, he couldn't do another 90 minutes. My friend got a bit cross and said I should just get my parents to look after him but they're already looking after him the day before so it wouldn't be fair. I don't like to ask them too often, a bit like people don't like to look after their children too often.

It just seems we always do child friendly places (I'm not a Mum but I try my best to be understanding of her childcare needs). She says she can't afford any additional childcare to that which she already needs for work but I can't afford additional dog care either (I pay £400 a month and don't have a partner to share any costs).

It got me thinking how restrictive it can be having a dog as a single person. I wouldn't change him for the world but it's incredibly difficult. If it was childcare I feel people would be much more understanding.

If I was a mum I could take my children pretty much everywhere.
As a dog owner, I can no longer go to the cinema, to most pubs, to restaurants, to the theatre, shopping, etc without paying out for extra dog care.

I feel dogs should be allowed in more places, more shops, more cafes, more pubs etc. Aibu?

Dogs are allowed in a lot of places now, loads of pubs and cafes allow them. Ultimately it's a business decision whether they think they'll get more or fewer customers by allowing dogs in.

I wouldn't want to take my dog into a lot of shops, she's too big. She would absolutely love to go to Sainsbury's. And the butchers. By herself. 🙈

I wish dogs were allowed more places. The pubs and restaurants where I live are pretty dog friendly, however I do wish I could pop into the local co-op with her. It's not safe to tie her up outside.

If it was childcare I feel people would be much more understanding

Lots of people have dogs and can't do certain stuff as a result. It's not the 'where dogs are allowed' bit that's at fault here, it's that your friend was not understanding. A decent friend wouldn't have made you feel like that for doing what was necessary to take good care of a sentient being that's your responsibility.

There is obviously space in the market for dog places, where people can meet and take their dogs without fear of non dog people not wanting them in the same space.

Obviously if you go to a dog friendly space, then you're going to have to accept that dog will be around

No way. Dogs poo on floor, owners seem to think it’s ok to leave it. And some dogs will bite you given the chance. With zero warning. Dogs have killed people. Simple.

They smell and bark too.

I personally want them banned from more places. Id love a dog free park!

@2021ismyyear

No way. Dogs poo on floor, owners seem to think it’s ok to leave it. And some dogs will bite you given the chance. With zero warning. Dogs have killed people. Simple.

They smell and bark too.

I personally want them banned from more places. Id love a dog free park!

Yep every dog owner let's their dog shit and then walk away

Same as with children the trick is to get them to make friends and have play dates. Then instead of asking someone to look after your dog as a one way favour, its a reciprocal arrangement.

As a dog owner I don't think they should be allowed into more places but I also don't think there's anything wrong with you saying to a friend that you can't do it because you can't leave the dog. The dog is part of your life and has limits to how long it can be left alone which is fine.

I cut short a visit to a friend yesterday because I need my dog had been on his own for a good chunk of time and she was understanding, has a dog herself, absolutely fine. I think the solution is having a conversation with your friends to help them understand the position you're in.

NTFT

but you can definitely leave your dog for longer than you are, if you have trained it properly. Build up the time slowly and consult a behaviourist. Or rent a movie and cuddle the pup instead.

Oh, and to answer - no, as a very pro-dog person, I don’t think they need to be allowed in more places. There are loads of places they are allowed (including John Lewis! Although why you’d want to take your dog to JL, I don’t know) so you always have choice of restaurant / cafe etc.

Re dogs crapping on floor, sadly round here it is a real problem. There are many selfish owners. It’s gone beyond a “handful” of bad owners, and this thread where we begin comparing a dog to children just highlights how misguided some dog owners really are.

This all seems to be a fairly recent thing. In years gone by people used to leave their dogs in the house all day while they were at work, and in alone when they had a night out. Why is it so different now? And no I don't think they should be allowed in any more places than they already are.

YANBU - in many other countries dogs are more widely welcomed at cafes, shops, on boat trips etc etc

Many dogs react to each other so having a venue full of dogs would be chaos. I don’t understand how you can’t leave your dog for long enough to go to a film or for a day with 2 visits. It’s your choice but that is very restrictive. Could you work with a behaviourist?

A dog is not and will never be the same as a child
This statement really annoys me. A dog might not be the same to you, but it is to many dog owners. I have children and I have a dog. Of course my children needs would come first if I was ever in a situation to have to pick, but that scenario is very unlikely, in real life, I aim to meet the needs of all and I care to ensure my dog is as happy as I can make her as I do for my children. I don't go about making decisions on the basis that my dog will never be the same as my kids. It's irrelevant. What is is that I tailor my days, weekends, holidays to ensure my dog' needs are met and more.

Saying all that, i do think there are many options to meet with friends and your dog, although of course, it depends where you are. I don't think there is a need for anything more. There is a limit to what is reasonable and what isn't.

@ufucoffee

This all seems to be a fairly recent thing. In years gone by people used to leave their dogs in the house all day while they were at work, and in alone when they had a night out. Why is it so different now? And no I don't think they should be allowed in any more places than they already are.

But do you think that generally things should just stay the same because new ways have been invented/discovered? I mean, giving up smoking for health was a new thing a few years back. Do you think we should have just carried on smoking to clear our lungs like we used to do?

It's different now because it allows more customers to use your business, and this by far outweighs the customers that you lose from it.

NRFT.

But in-laws' dog is a pampered pooch, a fat little barrel spoiled by his owners. I feel sorry for him. (I've tried to tell them they need to treat him more like a dog than a baby but it falls on deaf ears).

When I (used to) go abroad, dogs were kept outside and had a purpose, either as security or to assist humans. They aren't taken shopping! They are treated like dogs. They are not equivalent to human babies. Very different.

@TheFoundations no, I was just wondering why dog care was so different now

I don't understand why you would need to pay for dog care just to go to the pub or cinema. Surely it's ok to be left for a few hours so you can go out?

Your friend was being unreasonable changing your plans then complaining.

But please do not compare your dog and your responsibilities to those with her having children. Particularly to her if you want to keep the friendship.

I once had a friend say she knew how I felt being a parent as she had a cat. It’s not the main reason but we are no longer friends!

I think the balance as it is is fine. There are plenty dog friendly places. I say that as someone single with a dog. I have dc too. Ddog does occasionally limit us but tbh I could go to the cinema, it's not that long and I don't have a dog walker. I'm sure your dog is fine for the day with a walk before you go, 2 visits from a dog Walker then a walk and company all afternoon/evening once you get back. Maybe look on to some ad hoc doggy day care? We have some locally, one is attached to the local shopping centre that has cinema etc, although I don't use it as Ddog hates strangers.

How can I? My dog walker doesn't walk evenings and my nearest cinema is 40 minutes away, nearest theatre 45 minutes away. That's nearly 2 hours travelling plus the show. A dog can't be left alone for that time.

Most adult dogs can be left for 3.5 hours every now and again. Especially in the evening when they'd be asleep anyway. Even my little Velcro pup can manage that just fine

Yes, in a pub garden. I visited the pub twice and it happened twice. The dogs were free to run around the garden.

It depends on the dog. Animal welfare organisations recommend dogs aren’t left alone for longer than 4 hours and are properly acclimatised to it. Thanks to lockdown, my dog has regressed to a couple of hours max and will have to be worked back up to longer periods.

The 4 hours is a rough guide and applies mostly to day times. Dogs don't have watches and won't know if you've been gone 4,5 hours instead - especially in the evening where they'd ordinarily be fast asleep and go 10 hours without going out for the toilet

I lived in Germany for a while and people seemed to take dogs almost everywhere. It was nice and they didn’t randomly soil themselves. They were incredibly well trained though. My South African dog wouldn’t have been able to manage sitting under the table in a fancy restaurant all evening, so stayed at home.