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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About DH ‘sneaking up’ on me

65 replies

peaceandlovetoall · 05/08/2021 09:03

I am being UR. Genuinely not sure what to do though.

Lying in bed watching some telly, and DH suddenly appears behind me and makes me jump. Then starts talking to me so have to pause my programme. Can’t just get back into it as I’m always waiting for him to appear again!

I know I sound like a grouch but does anyone else find this?

OP posts:
sillysmiles · 05/08/2021 09:55

He's coming in to talk to you.

And this is a problem?

YABU

snackmammy · 05/08/2021 09:56

You sounds so boring, it's a joke. If it bothers you tell him instead Of posting it here

sofiegiraffe · 05/08/2021 09:56

@Whatamesssss

Just put a cowbell on him.
😂
ZeroFuchsGiven · 05/08/2021 09:59

@snackmammy

You sounds so boring, it's a joke. If it bothers you tell him instead Of posting it here
  1. RTFT
  2. IF no-one ever posted there would not be a MN
Ourlady · 05/08/2021 09:59

He's an attention seeker, annoying and quite pathetic really.
I can't even imagine not being able to have a shower in peace.

Herewiththepopcorn · 05/08/2021 10:04

@Burnt0utMum

I do this all the time to my DH, rarely actually scares him but on the off chance he screams we laugh for weeks he’s so dramatic haha!

Also he does it to me too it’s an ongoing thing and we all find it so funny

Original poster
peaceandlovetoall · 05/08/2021 10:06

When people say things like ‘he’s coming in to talk to you … and this is a problem’ it doesn’t really take into account the frequency.

Bit like if someone posted their 5 year old ate ten chocolate bars a day and someone says ‘a little kid eats chocolate OMG call the food police.’

No ones saying he can’t come in to talk to me. It just makes it difficult to do anything I might want to do like read, have a bath, watch a film.

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/08/2021 10:12

@Burnt0utMum I would really hate that. I startle very easily and it’s not funny. If someone kept doing that to me, I’d never be able to relax and would probably leave the person.

bluebeck · 05/08/2021 10:14

Do you not have a lock on your bathroom door? Confused

Frazzledd · 05/08/2021 10:15

@peaceandlovetoall

When people say things like ‘he’s coming in to talk to you … and this is a problem’ it doesn’t really take into account the frequency.

Bit like if someone posted their 5 year old ate ten chocolate bars a day and someone says ‘a little kid eats chocolate OMG call the food police.’

No ones saying he can’t come in to talk to me. It just makes it difficult to do anything I might want to do like read, have a bath, watch a film.

I think it's a little different...🙄

Your OP made it sound like this was a one off (made you jump?) But if he does it all the time as in 'shadowing you' everywhere you go, not giving you a minutes peace, I'd go with the cowbell idea.....

RadandMad · 05/08/2021 10:18

Just tell him to fuck off.

My OH will ignore me for hours then the moment I put in a pair of headphones, he suddenly finds things to talk about. Bollocks to that.

coastalimpact · 05/08/2021 10:20

Can you just talk to him about it, tell him it makes you feel on edge or lose the thread of what you're doing? Maybe each time he does it say "please can you ask me if it's ok to interrupt?" or "sorry, can you come back in 10 minutes - I can't focus now" and he might get the idea eventually?

coastalimpact · 05/08/2021 10:21

Also, lock the bathroom door.

LindaEllen · 05/08/2021 10:22

[quote DrDetriment]@Burnt0utMum You sound like a tiresome bully.[/quote]
Oh behave. Don't you have fun in your relationship? I'm sure if her DH didn't find it funny, he'd say, and she'd stop.

Frazzledd · 05/08/2021 10:24

Just tell him to fuck off

Grin Simple and effective, this 100%

LyndaSnellsSniff · 05/08/2021 10:26

How does he sneak up behind you if you’re lying in bed? Is he hiding behind the pillow?

Grin
Original poster
peaceandlovetoall · 05/08/2021 10:26

We don’t have a lock on the bathroom door, as it happens.

I must admit I wouldn’t find what BurntOutMum describes funny at all, I’d find it really stressful.

OP posts:
sillysmiles · 05/08/2021 10:29

No ones saying he can’t come in to talk to me. It just makes it difficult to do anything I might want to do like read, have a bath, watch a film.

If you are going to another room to have some time to yourself - just say it before you go. I'm going for a bath - leave me alone for half an hour.

JohnLemmon · 05/08/2021 10:29

@Burnt0utMum I do this to my DH too and it makes us both chortle. Clearly, it's just different strokes for different folks.

Crockof · 05/08/2021 10:32

@Burnt0utMum

I do this to DH every chance I get, it's hilarious. He sometimes gets home after everyone has gone to bed. He'll be in the kitchen making something to eat and I sneak downstairs and hide behind the wall then jump out at the perfect moment. He said he wouldn't do it to me cos he knows I'd probably have a heart attack Grin
I bet he doesn't think it hilarious, especially as he doesn't do it back. I'm sure you will scoff but I think it's abusive.
Burnt0utMum · 05/08/2021 10:52

God, can't say anything on here without people jumping on it. I totally get that some people would hate it but it works in our relationship. If he ever said it annoyed him I'd stop but he laughs with me about it. At least there are a couple of people on here who can understand.

FunnyWonder · 05/08/2021 10:52

I find that sort of thing annoying too. DP always, always interrupts me when I'm absorbed in something. If I'm wearing headphones, it scares the bejesus out of me. And it's usually to ask 'where does this go?'. Over yer blinking head mate, if you interrupt me one more time.

And if someone jumped out on me, like some posters here have mentioned, I would wonder what bloody age they were and if they were ever likely to grow up.

ThanksIGotItInMorrisons · 05/08/2021 10:53

Yep. Impeccably shitty timing as always. Sit all night not talking to each other. As soon as I take an interest in something he wants to talk.....

thanksforyourcommentrandomman · 05/08/2021 10:55

@Burnt0utMum

God, can't say anything on here without people jumping on it. I totally get that some people would hate it but it works in our relationship. If he ever said it annoyed him I'd stop but he laughs with me about it. At least there are a couple of people on here who can understand.
I think it's funny, me and my ex used to do daft stuff like this and we both found it funny. I'm sure if one of us said we hadn't liked it then we'd have stopped.
whynotwhatknot · 05/08/2021 10:56

@Burnt0utMum

God, can't say anything on here without people jumping on it. I totally get that some people would hate it but it works in our relationship. If he ever said it annoyed him I'd stop but he laughs with me about it. At least there are a couple of people on here who can understand.
If you get that some people dont like it then you doing it to your dh is irrelevant to the op
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