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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About booze providing?

63 replies

Whosbooze · 04/08/2021 23:29

Background-I live a good hour away from my best friend and his girlfriend. I've been close friends with him for over a decade and known her for as long, but they've been together about 3 years. We're all close now and get on great.

He earns more than three times as much as me (relevant to a point?) And his girlfriend gave me a load of clothes recently for which she would not accept money. They don't live together-and she is younger than me, so since then I told her I'd buy her a few drinks whenever we got together (again, maybe relevant).

We're not lushes by any stretch but our get togethers every couple of months usually involve booze.

Whenever I go to see them, I take whatever i want to drink with me. I'm the last year or so I can think of 2 occasions where I've stayed at his house for a BBQ and I've always taken a bottle of wine for myself. We're a bit too close to see it as a host thing I'd never expect a gift and neither does he.

He has visited here twice but without his girlfriend (due to her work commitments). He has always brought his own drink and also drank mine
Ive never drank his when visiting him (he never has anything in that I like anyway).

So last weekend they both visited. We went for a day out for food and drinks. Came back to mine, and they both had brought nothing with them to drink and drink all mine. He even whinged about my not having got his choice of wine/ciders.

I didn't think much of it at the time but now I'm feeling a bit irked.

Albu? Should i say/do something?
Maybe not take my own to his in future and ask him to get something in that I like? (He'd likely buy one mini bottle and leave me dry) Grin

OP posts:
Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 05/08/2021 19:26

You're overthinking things. Just do what you're comfortable with next time you go to his. I wouldn't change my attitude or behaviour based on something someone has done to annoy me. If it becomes a pattern and it's bothering you either invite him less or have a chat about it.

Smidge001 · 05/08/2021 19:38

I agree with practically everyone else on this thread. You are being incredibly petty OP, given these are your friends and it's a one off, and it was after the girlfriend had given you a bunch of clothes for free.

But on top of all that, I m quite incredulous at your annoyance at having to open a fancy bottle of wine. I mean, what were you saving the fancy bottle of wine for?! Confused.. For me, if I was having my best friends over, that would be the perfect excuse to open it!!

Dozer · 05/08/2021 19:42

You haven’t got a ‘myriad of opinions’ from posters, it’s 90% YABU!

You said you’d treat her to drinks ‘the next few times’ you met up, yet resent them turning up empty handed what seems like the one time!

Blossomtoes · 05/08/2021 19:42

If people visit us we expect to be proper hosts and provide the booze. If they like particular things we try to ensure they’re available. You don’t really get the hang of hospitality do you, OP?

FrankGrillosFloof · 05/08/2021 19:54

I can’t believe you’re begrudging your best friend of 10+ years an evening’s worth of booze.

youdoyoutoday · 05/08/2021 20:24

God this is so petty! Just pop to the offie on the way home together!

user1493494961 · 05/08/2021 20:25

When you went out for food and drinks, did you treat his girlfriend to a few drinks in return for the clothes (as you said you would).

Whosbooze · 05/08/2021 23:59

@sillysmiles

If I knew a friend who visited semi regularly drank a particular drink, I'd have it in the house for when they called.

To me, bringing your own drink and expect others to brings their semi cheap and petty.

I guess this is the sort of thing I meant.

People saying I'm being pretty and unreasonable but, he is the same when I go to his. I (or we if dp is with me) always take our own and that is the culture of our friendship and always has been.

Which is why this occasion stood out.

OP posts:
Whosbooze · 06/08/2021 00:00

@user1493494961

When you went out for food and drinks, did you treat his girlfriend to a few drinks in return for the clothes (as you said you would).
Yes and him :) I'm always pretty generous with things like days out.
OP posts:
Catflapkitkat · 06/08/2021 02:09

Don't say anything now. Especially as he usually brings drinks over. Chalk this up as a bit out of character. It's not worth losing a friendship over.

Next time you are making plans for him to come over THEN you can make can a light joke of it. But not now as if looks bitter and penny pinching.

carriehagshaw · 06/08/2021 02:14

I feel like when I've been in this situation and had an impromptu trip back to mine I've made it clear on the journey gone that we don't have refreshments and we should get some on route.

I'd be a bit annoyed if a friend invited me back and didn't say that there were no refreshments/ booze

carriehagshaw · 06/08/2021 02:16

But I would t expect the host to buy the booze. Just to let us know if it wasn't available to give us a chance to get it

Shellfishblastard · 06/08/2021 02:18

When I see friends I usually take a bottle of something - I like quite a specific drink so I will usually take one or two bottles for me and to share. Then once finished I will drink what is offered by the host. And I would do the same - if I have people round I make sure I have plenty of drinks in. I know people will generally bring a bottle but I wouldn’t expect them to.

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