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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bit cheeky?

119 replies

Nannybyday · 04/08/2021 19:36

I'm a nanny currently in between jobs. I will hopefully be starting with a new family in September. In the meantime I thought I'd just do some ad-hoc work. A family contacted me asking if I could help them out a couple of days a week until I start my new job so I met up with them tonight to have a chat.

They put me on the spot and asked if I'd be happy to reduce my hourly rate, £2 an hour difference. My rate is clearly advertised on my profile so they will have seen that when they contacted me. I said I would go away and think about it and get back to them. They then asked me that if I can't reduce my fee, would I be happy to pick up/drop off mum (she doesn't drive) to work on both days.

Again, I said I would go away and think about it and let them know my decision by tomorrow morning. I can't say I've ever experienced that before, especially the travel request (maybe I'm just lucky). All families that I've worked for have made their own way to and from work. Obviously I've been expected to transport the kids around but that's different. In regards to my fee, she explained that she's still training in her new job so she's on a low salary (I do sympathise but I'm trying to earn a living myself). The dad is a doctor.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Phoenix76 · 04/08/2021 23:27

Run op, RUN! They’ll only have more “negotiations” once you start.

BorderlineHappy · 04/08/2021 23:31

Just say no, otherwise you'll be back here next week complaining about them

LeftyLou · 04/08/2021 23:39

They want you to reduce your rate and to ferry the mother around? All which costs money? Just to repeat all PP I wouldn't take the job.

billy1966 · 04/08/2021 23:51

CF's.

That won't be the last example you'll see from them either.

Terhou · 05/08/2021 00:05

You have to be careful about driving - if it is part of your job, would your insurance cover it?

Terhou · 05/08/2021 00:06

I suspect you can pick up ad hoc work very easily (if necessary through an agency) without having to drop your fees. Just say no.

Terhou · 05/08/2021 00:07

@LeftyLou

They want you to reduce your rate and to ferry the mother around? All which costs money? Just to repeat all PP I wouldn't take the job.
No, they only want OP to do the driving if her fee isn't reduced.
LeftyLou · 05/08/2021 02:41

@Terhou thank you :) that's me not reading the thread properly.

AhNowTed · 05/08/2021 07:25

Seem their type before.

By nanny they mean dogsbody.

Spiderseatpants · 05/08/2021 07:49

Either they cant afford you, or they dont think that your job is worth as much as youre asking. Either way theres more of the same ahead if you go ahead.

Sweettruelies · 05/08/2021 07:50

God I think I’ve seen this woman on mumsnet! Doctor husband, expects her mum and mil to do childcare round the clock….

Elys3 · 05/08/2021 07:53

I wouldn’t entertain that. If you do the job I think you might end up resenting it.

Killahangilion · 05/08/2021 07:59

They don't respect your worth if they're asking you to take a pay cut. If they can't afford to employ a nanny, that's their problem to solve, not yours.

Tell them no to both requests.

I wonder who will take the mum to work in September if they were only employing you for 4 weeks?

spitalfielding · 05/08/2021 08:02

negotiating is fair enough, but to suggest £2 an hour drop seems a bit much and the lift thing is a strange piece of cheeky fuckery.

I’d decline and keep looking. I’m sure you’ll find something else pretty quickly.

spotcheck · 05/08/2021 08:06

It's not about money- it's that they don't value domestic/ childcare workers.
This would not bode well for future employment

Mayra1367 · 05/08/2021 08:10

A friend’s daughter is a nanny and had a similar request. Strangely one of the parents was also a doctor. They got her to reduce her rate slightly and asked her have a meal prepared for the parents every evening.
It was her first job as a nanny.
A few weeks in they asked if she could sort the washing out . She thought it was a one off and did it . The following week she was asked to stay late for a review and they complained that she hadn’t done the washing so told her they were reducing her pay and she wouldn’t be paid her usual amount that week. Being young and eager to please she apologised.
Needless to say when her mum found out she rang the couple to tell them she wouldn’t be going back and her dad would be calling around for her full wages which they paid .
She now works for a lovely family and is very happy in her job .
Please don’t let them take advantage of you. There are plenty of decent people out there looking for childcare. Know your worth .

AliMonkey · 05/08/2021 08:16

Reasonable of them to ask. Reasonable of you to say no. Although as it’s only for a few weeks the fact they may not be perfect employers doesn’t matter so much. I’d either say “no this is my rate, take it or leave it” or, given finding an alternative role may mean you end up with less money as will take longer to get it, offer £1 reduction but no driving the mum to work.

LookItsMeAgain · 05/08/2021 08:20

Are they not providing the car for you to drop mum to/from work? If that isn't on the table, I'd politely decline. You shouldn't be asked to use your car to do that.
I wouldn't say that they are being a 'bit' cheeky....I'd say they are being 'a lot' cheeky!

SarahBellam · 05/08/2021 08:27

CF. I’ll bet the doctor would have refused point blank if the hospital tried to negotiate his salary down by 15%. I imagine he’d also have refused to have ‘chauffeur the medical director’s wife to Waitrose and back every day’. Sorry - it’s a facetious comment, but it highlights that they’re asking you to accept conditions that he, in his profession capacity, would not accept and are not appropriate to the role. You are a professional nanny and you have (I’m assuming) relevant qualifications and experience. These are valuable and your time is valuable.

Besides, why would they want someone to look after their children who isn’t good enough to be able to charge full rate or has to throw in extras (like driving people she’s not responsible for) to land the post?

Veggiepotamus · 05/08/2021 08:41

Don’t take that job! Don’t work for less than you are worth. They are being cfs!

C8H10N4O2 · 05/08/2021 08:59

That would be a big fat "no" from me.

TeachesOfPeaches · 05/08/2021 09:16

Why would you even consider saying yes?

MiaowMiaow99 · 05/08/2021 09:27

Id think carefully about the job. If yiu did take it I imagine they would be nightmare customers!

twoshedsjackson · 05/08/2021 10:14

Agree with PP's, they're trying it on, further "negotiations" will crop up. Even if you could afford the cut, you're setting a precedent to undercut other nannies who will have your reduced rate quoted to them.

EmmalineC · 05/08/2021 11:14

I would have no hesitation in saying 'absolutely not' to their ridiculous demands. If the father is a doctor, he's on a lot more than minimum wage, so he can foot the taxi bill for his wife, or she can get a bus to work, like a lot of people do. If they can't afford your hourly rate, they can't afford a nanny and need to look at other childcare options.

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