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AIBU?

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Original poster

She won’t stop blowing raspberries

72 replies

Somanymilesaway · 04/08/2021 16:24

Dd, 3.

She’s always been fairly ‘Spirited’ but is wild at the moment. Won’t stop blowing raspberries, talking about bums and poo and laughing when I tell her off,
Is this normal? Feeling like I’m losing control, what can I do? Driving me insane

OP posts:
TheGumption · 04/08/2021 17:00

Nap time?? I'm surprised a three year old is still napping unless she's very recently turned three. She may be showing she doesn't want to nap by playing up.
Is she your first child? It all sounds like completely normal 3 year old behaviour if I'm honest.

Sparklingbrook · 04/08/2021 17:02

I have a 22 year old and an 18 year old. Swap you? I miss those days.

Generalpost · 04/08/2021 17:02

Shes 3 years old lots of kids blow raspberrys they like the sensation that they feel on their lips . As others have said distract her. Have you tried teaching her to blow bubble mixture. ?

xsquared · 04/08/2021 17:02

I used to love blowing raspberries on dd's cheek when she was 3, and so did she. Blush

Distract her with something else.

Susannahmoody · 04/08/2021 17:03

Just ignore it. She'll be doing something else soon enough

TheYearOfSmallThings · 04/08/2021 17:05

I agree that she probably doesn't need a nap anymore. And she's probably ready for nursery.

satci · 04/08/2021 17:06

@Somanymilesaway

This is when it’s nap time mainly. We go out everyday and if not are playing lots in the pool and garden. I’ve said calmly time and time again about blowing raspberries not being nice/ignoring/saying oh that’s a silly noise etc..but it’s constant recently We’re connected all day long as are always together and she never wants to play alone. She’s also been hitting recently, so we’ve talked lots about using nice hands and how it hurts etc. I don’t know, she’s like a different child the last few months, it’s hard
Nap time? My three year old wouldn't entertain the idea of a nap!
Ozanj · 04/08/2021 17:07

Show her how to pop her lips like a gold fish instead and see if that works.

To be honest it sounds like she’s bored and maybe understimulated. What does a typical day look like? What kind of food do you give her? How much control do you give her for day to say stuff? Sometimes kids act up when they have no control over anything in their lives, because acting up gives it to them.

Wolframhart · 04/08/2021 17:08

Lots of kids outgrow naps by 3 so that may be part of the problem.

For the most part, ignore and redirect. If she has excess energy, give her an appropriate way to channel it. If it’s always happening at the same time of day, try to plan a really intense physical activity just prior to that time. In summer that could even be something like hauling buckets of water around the garden to water the plants. It’s actually fun for a 3 year old, a bit messy, and if you make the bucket big enough will help use up some of that excess energy she doesn’t know how to handle.

Original poster
Somanymilesaway · 04/08/2021 17:08

We live in another country and nap in the afternoon is very normal here, later nights and very hot during the day. She definitely needs it as is often overtired, a lot of it I suspect is down to being tired, but not able to sleep. They have long naps here in nursery/pre school until age 6

OP posts:
Original poster
Somanymilesaway · 04/08/2021 17:10

Just to say, I don’t mind raspberry blowing, it’s the excessive of it and the fact she’s using it in a rude way if being told no or being told something she doesn’t like, she literally turns around and does a horrible raspberry, it’s sort of mean and she’s started doing it to her pals too 😬

OP posts:
UnashamedLabelHo · 04/08/2021 17:11

She’s 3! And she’s not being unkind or hurting someone. She likes the sensation of it and the reaction you give. How exciting that you take so much notice. Distract her if you must but she’s not pulling a cat’s tail or doing anything bad. She’s only three!

HintofVintagePink · 04/08/2021 17:11

Pooheadbummyface is the worst insult my just 4 year old has. I think it’s normal….🧐

IonaLeg · 04/08/2021 17:12

3 is a tricky age.

Does she have things in the home she can climb on? Something like a pikler triangle would let her get that out of her system without damaging furniture. Or a mini trampoline?

I would honestly just ignore the raspberries. She just wants the reaction. Keep pretending it’s just not happening and she’ll get bored, failing which she will grow out of it.

Telling her off is probably not going to work - it’s just getting yourselves into a battle.

Fiddliestofsticks · 04/08/2021 17:12

She's 3.
My son came home from nursery one day when he was 3 and said, "we went to the corner where the teacher's cant hear and said bum." He followed that up with lots of laughing.

She is 3. Dont worry about it.

AnnaSW1 · 04/08/2021 17:13

She's doing it for the big reaction. Just ignore it. It's normal three year old stuff! Smile

Original poster
Somanymilesaway · 04/08/2021 17:15

@Ozanj Definitely don’t think is being bored or food. She has a great, healthy diet and we live by the beach and woods, we’re forever outdoors or at play dates or if at home, reading, playing, crafts etc
She’s very independent and strong willed so is given lots of choices and free will etc

OP posts:
Original poster
Somanymilesaway · 04/08/2021 17:18

@lonaleg She has a mini trampoline, slide, paddling pool, swings etc etc, so much to climb and get the energy out 🙈

OP posts:
Alleycat02 · 04/08/2021 17:20

My daughter is 2.5 and exactly like this! I blame her older brothers for introducing her to the poo and bum talk, but the raspberry blowing (to express joy?? Anger?? Trying to intimidate her brothers?? Who knows....), as well as the licking(!) and throwing things are new to me as her brothers never did that......
Children are bizarre and gross, lol. I think just a firm 'No, we don't do / say that as it's rude' and maybe taking them to a timeout-type space so she can sit for a minute or two, is about the maximum reaction necessary at this age.

PostMenWithACat · 04/08/2021 17:23

MNet doesn't like it, but mine were always allowed to chose four little sweets from the sweetie jar after tea. If they had misbehaved there was a small something to takeaway as a sanction. It worked a treat vi's a vi's bum bum poo poo head, etc.

The throwing clothes and jumping on beds or other furniture was always a no though and I think probably resulted in sitting on the stair and no sweets.

Tempusfudgeit · 04/08/2021 17:23

Sounds exactly like my 2 year old daughter just copying her two older brothers (4 and 6). It's poos, wees, bottoms and raspberries all day! Smile

SunshineCake · 04/08/2021 17:24

My son was still napping when he started school. Don't listen to those saying their three year olds wouldn't nap. Every child is different and they drop naps at different times. Try snd ignore as much annoying behaviour as you can. Praise the good. Keep her busy. Get out for a walk at least once a day. Have quite story and colouring time as well as time jumping in puddles and time at the park. Don't see it as she's out of control as control is such a negative word, let her be free. As long as she's not hurting herself, hurting others, smashing things or being outrageously rude, pick your battles. Chucking clothes around, send her to sort the dirty laundry into colour piles, etc.

TheBestPlansAlwaysFail · 04/08/2021 17:26

The laughing when told off is quite normal. Evolution did a number there: humans like people who smile and are happy. All good and well but when toddlers are told off and become embarrassed/feel uncomfortable they often reflexively smile or laugh 'to be liked'. It is maladaptive in the sense that it infuriates most modern adults but most grow out of it eventually :)

Disfordarkchocolate · 04/08/2021 17:27

Oh so normal. Keep clam and react as little as possible. Poo and bum will be funny for a good few years yet.

CoffeeNeeded2019 · 04/08/2021 17:28

I know it’s irritating when they’re crazy (my own dc is the same)
But I’ve worked in early years for almost 20years & it’s very rare to see that behaviour in nursery / preschool because the dynamic is so different and they’re busy