DP feels rejected because I need space

[qwertyuiop098]

I have been with DP for about 4 months and we get on really well, are very passionate and feel really comfortable together.

But although I love spending time with him, I find I do need my own space and sometimes want to have Mon-Fri alone in my flat and see him at the weekend. He thinks at this stage we should be really into each other and be together much more often than this. He wants to end it because we have different levels of commitment and engagement in the relationship.

I think I just like and need my own company.

AIBU?

@HealthKick2021

You should still be in the honeymoon stage. Let him free.

5 days a week together is practically the moving in stage. Too much at 4 months. Honeymoon stage doesn't mean spending every waking hour together!

Neither of you are being unreasonable.

But if he wants a partner that he sees a bit more than just weekends, then I don't think it's unreasonable for him to end things with you and seek that.

I can not function with my own space I have the tv in the bedroom I watch what I want, tv wise we are very different so he watches his stuff I watch mine.

I suspect he wants to get away from him mum and the red flag is him threatening to end the relationship (when he knows you are keen).

I had similar with Ex and looking back it was manipulation. He should have enough of his own life that 5 nights is too much for him.

Doesn't he go to the gym, see friends, have a night alone? If you are his focus and he can't be alone then something isn't right.

Don't go against your instincts or needs. It's way too early to let this man take over your choices.

I've known three women and one man who believe with every fibre of their being that if you love someone, you want to spend every available moment with them. If you like your own space ~ you don't love them at all. Total togetherness is their yardstick for love.

I'm more, Madness; My girl's mad at me.

What is that saying I read on here about no one keener that a man seeking a home?

Or something like that.

4 months is very new.

I believe he is trying to manipulate you OP.

Be wary.

16 weeks in and he's threatening you with ending the relationship because you aren't ready to have him move in by stealth at your place more days than not?

You're better off out of that shit. He just wants to strike whilst he feels you'll capitulate to his demands to move out of Mummy's house.

I think after 4 months you are only really dating or he’s your boyfriend at best. He’s not really your partner. You hardly know each other!

I'm with you OP: I think independent space is massively important in a relationship and I would find his attitude really stifling.

He's not wrong per se and if he wants more commitment that's fine for him but maybe not with you. You don't sound compatible.

You have mismatched expectations. Your way, seeing each other mostly at the weekend, is fine. His way, seeing each other most days, is fine. You just don’t fit.