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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

. . . To sell up and move ASAP.

41 replies

AllesAusLiebe · 04/08/2021 08:59

Hi everyone,
DH, DS(3) and I moved house last week. We hate the new house.

We're right next to a really busy road and every night we hear constant traffic noise that keeps us awake.

Our new neighbours are awful. Dogs barking constantly, even early hours of the morning.

The house itself needs thousands spent on it. When we viewed we were really naive and failed to check everything properly.

In addition, husband is suffering from depression and blames himself for the mistake we made in moving here because he campaigned quite strongly to move here in the first place. He says he's let DS and me down and no matter how many times I tell him that he's not at fault, he still feels guilty.

I feel like such an idiot to not have checked things out properly. I'm getting quotes for triple glazing and soundproofing right now, but even if this resolves the immediate problems, I just don't feel that we will ever be happy here and therefore question the expenditure vs potential gains.

We've spoken to our mortgage broker and he said our mortgage deal is portable, so it's just a matter of putting the house back on the market and finding somewhere else.

Has anyone else ever sold up and moved quickly after realising they'd made a terrible mistake?

OP posts:

Thingsthatgo · 04/08/2021 09:05

We moved house a few months back. We also moved to near a busy road.
Our first night we had a massive storm, which shook the windows and was awful. The next day we had a local gang of teenagers break into our garage and made a mess.
I was absolutely adamant that we couldn’t stay, and was looking are rightmove ready to move. However, I now love our house. We’ve replaced the windows and bought some noise reducing curtains. We’ve secured the garage and we are slowly doing up the house. I am very happy here.
Maybe just give it time, you might learn to love it.

Original poster

AllesAusLiebe · 04/08/2021 09:15

Thanks for your reply. That's exactly our dilemma.

It feels like quite a leap of faith to invest more into the house with no guarantees that our views will change. Good to know that things can significantly turn around, though.

OP posts:

Summerbubbles · 04/08/2021 09:16

I think you need to give it a bit of time, buying a house and moving is very stressful so I think you need to get over that before you can really start to enjoy the house.
I hated my house and thought I had made a huge mistake when I first moved in but love it now and can't imagine living anywhere else.

TorySteller · 04/08/2021 09:16

It doesn’t seem like it now, but you might learn to live with it and maybe even like it after a few months. Moving house is always a stressful time and I’ve struggled to immediately ‘settle in’ every time we’ve moved.

If you really do want to move, be prepared for potential buyers to ask why you’re moving so soon. If you put it back on the market within weeks of buying it will definitely put some viewers off.

Honestly, I would give it a few months first, but I know that’s easier said than done.

Fountainsoftea · 04/08/2021 09:32

I regretted it. Hadn't been keen on moving to the area and my fears were confirmed by the group of kids sitting opposite the house kicking a football at the wall. I went out and bollocked then. Then, 3 days later, police appeared on the doorstep, asking if x lived there. Obviously a false address been given, but it freaked me out. We didn't really talk to anyone until we had the dc a few years later.

Fast forward a decade, and now we're moving for more space and I really, really don't want to, as I love it here.

leavingthispoohole · 04/08/2021 09:40

Horrible situation OP! Feel for you.
We moved to a small town from London 22 months ago. Knew from almost day one I regretted it - Husband did too. Fast forward we are a few weeks from exchanging on our dream location and I am so incredibly happy to be leaving this place behind.
Barking dog and idiot neighbour contributed to feeling shit here but we also miss city life so much and were so bored here with our 18month old daughter.
I would definitely give it 6 months to see what happens though. Perhaps get the house revalued in the mean time, is there a chance you could have made money in the covid boom?
Have you spoken to your neighbour about the dog barking?

Nothing is permanent

SunShinesBrightly · 04/08/2021 09:46

Put it back on the market.
Houses are selling fast here.

Moooooooooooooooooo · 04/08/2021 09:47

Look at secondary glazing. It’s basically another set of windows put in behind the existing set with air space between the two sets. You can’t tell that there are two sets and it makes a HUGE difference to the noise, I know as I live on an exceedingly busy A road.

MotionActivatedDog · 04/08/2021 09:47

When I first got my keys to this house I came to have a quick look round and while there some kids on the street started kicking a ball and hitting my car. That night my next door neighbour had a party and there were people screaming and shouting fighting til the wee small hours. The next night there was a storm and the wind whistled through the front windows. I was gutted. I thought I’d made a huge mistake. Unfortunately/fortunately? I am renting so couldn’t sell up and had nowhere else to go. It’s been two years now and I absolutely love my house. The windows only whistle on the rare occasion the wind is blowing straight at them. The neighbour hasn’t had a party since and he’s now moved out and the ball playing kids are very careful normally. The rest of the neighbours are lovely. I think I just had bad luck that weekend.

Give yourself some time to settle in. I wouldn’t rush to spend thousands on triple glazing incase you do end up selling. Give it 6 months.

spookycookies · 04/08/2021 09:48

I would be super suspicious about buying a house that was back on the market so quickly with no work being done.

NewHouseNewMe · 04/08/2021 09:55

The best thing is to accept you'll be there for at least a year or two. Many people say triple glazing is a con but secondary glazing can be very effective as PP said. We had ancient single glazing and secondary glazing that was as quiet as the fancy double glazing we replaced it with.

Also consider how much the house would have cost if it wasn't on a busy road. It's probably more so start saving for that jump. It doesn't make sense doing anything but cosmetic changes if you're not staying.

freelions · 04/08/2021 09:55

I think you need to give it more than a week

Can you agree to give it say 3 months before making a decision?

Vicliz24 · 04/08/2021 10:00

We had a nightmare first month in our house and most nights DC would be crying and asking to go "home" to our old house . The challenge of doing up the house plus its location seemed impossible and I admit to bedtime tears too . 22 years later I genuinely can't imagine living anywhere else . If you had told me I'd ever feel this way I wouldn't have believed you. Give it a chance for a few months. If you hate it still by New Year then cut your losses.

NotQuiteUsual · 04/08/2021 10:19

Living near a busy road takes a little getting used to, but once you do it becomes like white noise and quite soothing. My childhood bedroom was onto a busy road and I still find traffic noises comforting to sleep with.

The neighbours dogs are annoying, but you know you wont disturb them if you guys are up early and if your kids have bad nights, they'll likely be more understanding than quiet perfect neighbours.

You're going to gain some impressive DIY skills and you don't have to face the annoying dilema of 'it's not bad enough to rip out, but it's not my taste either' so the home will become very much yours.

You're at the bottom of a big mountain, of course it's intimidating. But you'll climb it.

StoneofDestiny · 04/08/2021 10:56

I'd give it at least 6 months and make sure you spend time doing up the property - inexpensively ie pavement appeal, freshen up everything so you sell quickly if you do decide to move.

flumposie · 04/08/2021 10:59

We moved from a rented house where you could hear the neighbour doing every task ( going upstairs , putting something in a plug socket). The day we moved in to our own house the neighbours had friends over and were so loud. I remember crying at the bottom of the garden. However, it wasn't a true reflection of them. Been there 17 years now and can't see me leaving .

Notcontent · 04/08/2021 11:05

Yes, give it time. There must have been something attractive about the house that led you to buy it in the first place - try and focus on that.

lastqueenofscotland · 04/08/2021 11:07

A house that’s gone straight back on the market would ring serious alarm bells with any decent conveyancer.
I’d sit tight a bit - half a year and then whack it on as change of circumstance

eightyfourandahalf · 04/08/2021 11:11

It's common to think you've made a terrible mistake.

It usually doesn't help when the sellers have left a tip, or you are discovering issues cleverly hidden...

Don't beat yourself up, it gets better.

SamVimes6 · 04/08/2021 11:22

I think you’ve lived there a week. Give it a chance.

You must have known it was by a main road, main roads are noisy, you will get used to traffic, eventually.
Dogs barking, report to council, repeat until sorted.

The thousands needed to be spent on your house, well that’s nobody’s fault but your own . You must have viewed the place, seen leaks/boiler/fence issues?

Give it time, you can make this your dream home.

leavingthispoohole · 04/08/2021 11:25

@SamVimes6

I think you’ve lived there a week. Give it a chance.

You must have known it was by a main road, main roads are noisy, you will get used to traffic, eventually.
Dogs barking, report to council, repeat until sorted.

The thousands needed to be spent on your house, well that’s nobody’s fault but your own . You must have viewed the place, seen leaks/boiler/fence issues?

Give it time, you can make this your dream home.

Dogs barking, report to council, repeat until sorted.

Not as easy as that I'm afraid. And in the mean time make enemies of your neighbours that you then have to live next door to for how ever long!

Embracelife · 04/08/2021 11:28

Don't let depression lead to decisions
Grass may not be greener

Why did you buy the house ? is it good location nice garden etc ? What are the positives?

TakeYourFinalPosition · 04/08/2021 11:36

Most banks won’t lend on houses that have sold within the last six months. Some will, but most won’t.

That means it could be difficult to sell, if your buyer needs a mortgage.

But you’ve got to do what is right for you and your family. Can you afford to take a hit on what you paid, to get people interested despite your short ownership, and the mortgage issue?

You’ll also need to think carefully about how you’ll answer questions about why you’re moving.

Flawedperfection · 04/08/2021 12:30

I’ve never owned a home so A LOT easier to move but even then, a hassle. I once gave my notice in on the second day into a rental contract for a studio flat as you could hear everything. TV next door until the early hours, snoring other side, guitar session until 1am downstairs. As a quiet, solitary person, this was hell and even though it was only the first night, my gut told me this was normal for these tenants/residents and I couldn’t match in and demand change. It didn’t change and got worse so I was pleased to get out of there in a month, then move on to a flat conversion in the wing of a mansion, which although had good soundproofing, had 2 x loud flats mates for me, who came and went at all hours, slamming doors, washer/dryer on at midnight.
I’m currently staying with friends in a lovely end terrace town house which again has great sound-proofing, but is in a built-up area where every sound echos: kids shrieking, building works, motorbikes, annoying noises people make every day.
You sound like you might have noise sensitivity/misophonia like me- where everyday sounds are a problem, and as you are aware of each and every sound, you can’t escape it. Have you tried all the types of ear plugs? I like to have my own noise that I can control around me- the radio or tv I on during the day, a fan running at night or YouTube with rain sounds playing to relax and distract me etc.
How about you tell yourself that you’ll have little goals like a week, then a month, then to Xmas etc, then if you still hate it, make a move knowing you’ve tried your best?

zighead · 04/08/2021 12:58

I felt the same about my current house for the first few months but honestly I love it here now and have no intention of moving. I've been here 15 years now. Give it a little more time if you can .

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