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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

. . . To sell up and move ASAP.

41 replies

AllesAusLiebe · 04/08/2021 08:59

Hi everyone,
DH, DS(3) and I moved house last week. We hate the new house.

We're right next to a really busy road and every night we hear constant traffic noise that keeps us awake.

Our new neighbours are awful. Dogs barking constantly, even early hours of the morning.

The house itself needs thousands spent on it. When we viewed we were really naive and failed to check everything properly.

In addition, husband is suffering from depression and blames himself for the mistake we made in moving here because he campaigned quite strongly to move here in the first place. He says he's let DS and me down and no matter how many times I tell him that he's not at fault, he still feels guilty.

I feel like such an idiot to not have checked things out properly. I'm getting quotes for triple glazing and soundproofing right now, but even if this resolves the immediate problems, I just don't feel that we will ever be happy here and therefore question the expenditure vs potential gains.

We've spoken to our mortgage broker and he said our mortgage deal is portable, so it's just a matter of putting the house back on the market and finding somewhere else.

Has anyone else ever sold up and moved quickly after realising they'd made a terrible mistake?

OP posts:

TrueRefuge · 04/08/2021 13:03

Agree that buyers will be suspicious about buying somewhere that was just bought and sold on with no change in visuals (as in, they'll view your old listing and your new one, see it hasn't been flipped and will wonder why you're selling up).

Try and give it 6 months, have a real good tidy up, buy some new things that can move with you (furniture, accessories) so you're not wasting money but are sprucing it up. Try and focus on the positives, rather than the negatives.

It's summer, so everywhere is loud as everyone is out, windows open etc. My street is really busy too. You never know who will move in next door, however nice your house is.

I hope that doesn't all sound flippant. But for practical reasons and for your family's mental health, I think you need to make the best of it for a few months and then reassess. Hopefully you'll learn to at least like it.

It must be really stressful, but try and get everyone on board with faking it till you make it!

Original poster

AllesAusLiebe · 04/08/2021 17:56

Thanks so much everyone for the replies.

I've taken the advice on board and have a valuer coming on Monday. I've also suggested to DH that we use the valuation purely as a benchmark, however, and leave it at least another 6 months before we make any decisions.

I'll look into the window suggestions, too. Certainly sounds like a better option than triple glazing.

Thing is, DS loves it here! He's now got a huge bedroom and he loves watching the cars and buses from the window. We're trying so hard to stay positive for him, but it's tough.

OP posts:

Original poster

AllesAusLiebe · 04/08/2021 17:59

@Flawedperfection I saw the thread on here last week, I think, about misophonia and lots of the comments really resonated with me. It's hard when the sound of other people simply going about their daily lives drives you to distraction.

I've always known that noise is something I don't cope well with. It's almost like a nervous response.

I'll look into all the things you suggested, too. Thanks. x

OP posts:

KittenKong · 04/08/2021 18:06

Just give it time. The noise issue will get much better unroll your will barely register it (us, moving in: oh isn’t that a sweet convent across the road? Also us: 6.25am 6 days a week 🔔 🔔 🔔 )

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 04/08/2021 18:10

@spookycookies

I would be super suspicious about buying a house that was back on the market so quickly with no work being done.

This is your problem. You're going to need a good story to explain this. I would be saying something about 'sudden unexpected change in family circumstances' for the estate agents to pass on. But even so, expect people to be extra keen to scrutinise the house.

Blossomtoes · 04/08/2021 18:18

Give it time. We’ve lived in our current house for 22 years with traffic outside the front door. As a pp said it very soon became white noise, we haven’t noticed it for years now, to the extent that we removed our very ugly secondary glazing.

Jenala · 04/08/2021 18:30

I rent on a busy road and the traffic noise drives me mad. I remember my very first morning waking up to it and my stomach dropping and thinking... shit.

That was 6 years ago. We bought secondary glazing for the front bedroom windows from a company called Clearview, with acoustic glass. This has helped enormously - I still can't open the windows at night but the noise is SO SO much better I can't believe we lived without them.

There is lots of weird stuff to noise reduction. Normal triple glazed or double glazed windows can make it worse because each thickness of glass lets a certain frequency of noise through. So if you have triple glazing where each layer of glass is the same thickness, it can resonate the frequencies that do go through and make it worse. Much better would be double glazing with two differing thicknesses of glass (or triple all with different thicknesses), and then possibly also secondary glazing of another thickness with a big air gap, as the air gap reduces noise too. I feel a need to say this as would be awful if you got new windows that didn't help, ours got worse with new windows fitted by our landlord.

The secondary glazing I got was about £1000 for two enormous 2.5m x 2m windows, with the thickest acoustic glass. So smaller windows it might not be wild. Then I have ear plugs by my bed for first thing in the morning. It doesn't bother my husband but I think I have misphonia as all sorts of noises annoy me.

We are moving but the glazing and ear plugs have made it much more bearable. However I know we will buy soon which had made it less annoying. That sinking feeling of a mistake makes the volume louder in my experience. Sorry op.

Jenala · 04/08/2021 18:30

They look neat too. Not too ugly. Add good insulation too and no more condensation.

Jenala · 04/08/2021 18:32

I think for some people it becomes white noise. Other people (like me) can't stop tuning into it!

crimsonlake · 04/08/2021 18:34

Is the road constantly busy or is it just during peak times? Surely you must have given the road some consideration?
I now live on a road which is busy during both rush hours, turns out it is a rat run to avoid being held up by traffic lights on a parallel road. At the time of viewing I did ask about it and was told it was fairly quiet...of course I was not viewing during busy times of the day.
I had moved from a peaceful residential estate and also detached. I remember being out in the back garden on the first day and was horrified how long the road noise seemed. In the first few months I put in new double glazing, tbh it did not make the difference I was hoping for. Possibly should have gone for triple glazing but was told there would not be much difference.
I hate not being able to have the windows at night, sometimes I do and just make sure I wear earplugs.
Neighbours garden noise is also an issue which I have had to learn to live with. So yes probably from the first day and now 3 years later I have dithered whether to sell up. The house needs a lot doing to it, money I cannot afford really, that aside I have come to terms with it and even the location. If I came in to some money I would move in a heart beat.

queenMab99 · 04/08/2021 18:44

We thought we had made a terrible mistake too, neighbour on one side was weird, and the other side had loud tv till 1am every night, also the night we moved in, the church social club behind us had a loud disco garden party type thing. The church only had one event like that per year, the weird neighbour moved out after a year, and the people next door moved their tv out of the alcove, after we mentioned we could hear it. I have been here now for 40 years, divorced one (cheating) husband, and second husband died 5 years ago. I hope it is my forever home!

emilylily · 04/08/2021 18:46

@AllesAusLiebe

Thanks so much everyone for the replies.

I'll look into the window suggestions, too. Certainly sounds like a better option than triple glazing.

Thing is, DS loves it here! He's now got a huge bedroom and he loves watching the cars and buses from the window. We're trying so hard to stay positive for him, but it's tough.

Hi Alles,

Remember that the valuation you get now may not stand in 6 months. The market at the moment is very good and it may or may not be in half a year.

We had our house valued a year-ish ago and again recently and it's gone up by about 15% with the post-Covid boom.

It's a touch decision to make really!

emilylily · 04/08/2021 18:47

tough, not touch.

Thisisnotreallymyname · 04/08/2021 18:52

Life’s too short, if you afford to move , then move.make sure you do a bit more research though X

texasss · 04/08/2021 21:13

Put it back on the market, proximity to a busy road is the one thing I won't compromise on.

Horst · 05/08/2021 15:10

If go with suck it up for 6 months to a year doing small improvements. I’d also report the dog barking that’s a private thing anyway they won’t be told who reported originally. They will be sent a letter to tell them to stfu basically and you will be sent a log to fill in as the first step.

Fencing and certain bushes can help reduce the sound so look into that plus it shows a change to the property. Think curtains, white noise playing and even the arrangement of furniture can help full the sounds inside.

My uncle lives next to train tracks he doesn’t even notice them anymore and when the doors and windows are shut you wouldn’t notice it’s only when in the garden.

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