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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toilets are for paying customers only?!

94 replies

JackieNext · 03/08/2021 11:28

I ordered myself a nice brunch at this cafe nearby.

Lovely food. I went up to pay after I'd finished and then asked if I could use their loo before I left?

I was told 'Sorry, toilets are for paying customers only'. I said I just ate a meal here and paid? He said 'Sorry, if you want to use the toilet you'll have to buy something else and then go'

I ordered a can of drink because I was bloody bursting and couldn't wait to faff!

AIBU to think this is unacceptable customer service? I had already paid for a meal! Same bloke that I paid the meal for, I asked for the loo with him so he knows I had eaten here already

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 03/08/2021 12:16

Your mistake was asking if you could use the loo. That's what someone who thinks they might be told 'no', because they're not a paying customer, would do.

Had you said 'where are the loos please?' or 'are the loos upstairs?' or just taken yourself off to the loo, there would have been no issue.

Be more assertive. Don't ask permission where no permission is required. It's not polite, it's confusing.

The bloke was an idiot, obviously and might have found other ways to express that but the less chance you give someone like that to express their idiocy, the better.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 03/08/2021 12:17

Blimey. I had no idea people still needed to ask about this stuff.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 03/08/2021 12:18

Sorry, wrong thread.

viques · 03/08/2021 12:19

@budgun

Why did you ask to use the toilet? I don't think I have ever done this in a cafe. It's a given that the toilets are for customers to use
Because some places put a coded lock on the door and you need the code?
Namechangecharlie999 · 03/08/2021 12:21

Trip advisor. People need to know

C8H10N4O2 · 03/08/2021 12:21

Be more assertive. Don't ask permission where no permission is required. It's not polite, it's confusing

Completely agree with this but it would result in 75% of threads disappearing from AIBU leaving only the made up sagas Grin

HollowTalk · 03/08/2021 12:21

You should have said in a loud voice "I am a paying customer and your food has made me ill."

budgun · 03/08/2021 12:21

Because some places put a coded lock on the door and you need the code?

Then OP would have asked for the code?

lottiegarbanzo · 03/08/2021 12:22

This is a case where, if not confident enough to say 'I have paid for lunch and am now going to use your loo, please tell me where it is / give me the key etc', you needed to ask to speak to the manager!

This may have been a new, confused employee, misunderstanding a rule.

Managers can be useful.

lottiegarbanzo · 03/08/2021 12:25

That is an excellent point @C8H10N4O2

I shall set up assertiveness and communication classes for ordinary, slightly too polite, slightly passive aggressive British women and make my fortune, forthwith. The downfall of AIBU will seem an unfortunate coincidence.

Zhampagne · 03/08/2021 12:28

The only possible response to this is ‘Ha, very funny mate’ and then to go the loo anyway.

Assuming there are ten seats or more the cafe has to provide customer loos by law.

viques · 03/08/2021 12:29

@budgun

Because some places put a coded lock on the door and you need the code?

Then OP would have asked for the code?

Of course she would have, If she knew there was a lock, and if she knew where the toilet was, not always clear in some cafes.
2LostSoulsSwimmingInAFishBowl · 03/08/2021 12:29

He was a twat who doesn’t seem to understand the rule he was enforcing.

Lulola · 03/08/2021 12:30

Did you order and pay for the can before using the toilet, because surely that’s the same scenario as buying and paying for your food before using it.

HeartvsBrain · 03/08/2021 12:31

My answer would have been, I need to pee because of the drink I just had here, so I either pee in the toilet, or right here on the floor - your choice?

prettyteapotsplease · 03/08/2021 12:31

This young man needs further training, doesn't he? I'd take it up with the manager if I were you to avoid a repeat. If a key or a code isn't needed then there is no requirement to ask permission to use the facilities. Perhaps he thought he was being humorous? Again he was a bit of a prat, but then many of us were like that when we were young. I hope he'll learn.

Trampolean · 03/08/2021 12:33

Quite a few cafes have the codes, locks or toilets that are away from the seating area, i don't think it's overly wild to ask. He was being ridiculous as you were a paying customer.

fruitbrewhaha · 03/08/2021 12:36

What a stupid idiot!
You were a paying customer. Complain very loudly.

pinkcircustop · 03/08/2021 12:39

You need to complain, because you were a paying customer. You should have asked for the manager at the time. Why didn’t you?

Comefromaway · 03/08/2021 12:42

That's ridiculous.

It happened to us last week in McDonalds. We all ordered at the screen then me and ds went to find a seat whiilst dd and dh went to the loo. The member of staff who had stood right by the order screen and watched us key in our order then stopped dd and dh and told them toilets were for customers only.

UniversalAunt · 03/08/2021 12:43

Yup, Tripadvisor.
How absurd!

So there are ‘rules’ about using the on site toilets? Is that before, during or after the meal? While you wait to order or after the order has been placed?

WombatChocolate · 03/08/2021 12:43

Sometimes customers are taken aback by daft comments by shop assistants and don’t assert themesleves or their rights. Quite often, customers are not quite sure or confident in what is right or normal.

Op wouldn’t be on here asking if she was totally sure what happened was wrong, but would have asserted her right to use the loo. Quite often, after the event, people suddenly realise for sure they’ve been treated badly and then feel annoyed…but by then it’s too late.

Op, take from this, that if you ever feel what you’re being told isn’t right, that you can ask to speak to the manager to discuss further. This often makes all the difference as usually (not always) the manager isn’t so jobsworth or does actually understand the policy or has some flexibility and is able to respond to circumstances as is sensible.

I think we are all agreed that you were a paying customer. Perhaps the waiter hadn’t served you and thought you were not or he misunderstood what you said about having already bought something. If challenged further on this, I suspect you’d have been given access to the loo. Sometimes you do need to explain yourself again as shop assistants don’t fully hear or understand, or sometimes they are being arses and being called in it, leads to them becoming more reasonable.

You can follow this up if you want to. I’d email the company and explain clearly what happened if you want to and say how disappointed you were with their behaviour. Or you can just move on. But take something from this about being more assertive next time….circumstances like this happen and you just have to stand up for yourself a bit more.

Svalberg · 03/08/2021 12:44

@12:16C8H10N4O2 I'm not sure that they are. I mystery shop and for some places have to do a toilet report. I have to ask the location of the toilets, even if I know they haven't got any and have to ask for the location of the nearest ones that I can use if they don't have them. Cafes in shopping centres and airports don't usually have them.

UniversalAunt · 03/08/2021 12:46

There is a good point here about asking for permission where none is needed.

The general principle is that we are free to go about our business unless explicitly prohibited, e.g. by law, not chuffin’ guidelines.

C8H10N4O2 · 03/08/2021 12:47

Cafes in shopping centres and airports don't usually have them

Open cafe areas share the airport/mall facilities (who are required to provide them). They don't have an option to do otherwise.

Enclosed shop units operating as food and drink providers with sit down accommodation do have to provide loos.