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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to put my cats in a cattery

79 replies

TikTakTwo · 03/08/2021 00:04

We have a baby and a toddler and DH works away a lot, so sometimes my parents come to stay to help out. My mum is now suggesting we put our two cats in a cattery when they stay from now on because they don't like their fur getting on their things, that they walk on the kitchen surfaces, & that they have accidents next to the litter tray.

My parents stay in the guest room which the cats have zero access to it's not like they have to deal with the cats in their bed. They also used to have cats in the past so it's not like they don't understand cats.

I find the idea totally batshit tbh!

OP posts:
Maves · 03/08/2021 00:07

It's more batshit that you need your parents to stay with you to help out surely that's more stress than looking after 2 kids on your own?

Smartiepants79 · 03/08/2021 00:11

How often are we talking about and for what length of time?
What alternatives can you come up with that would limit the issues that bother your parents? Can the cats be kept to a more limited area while they visit and specifically not left unsupervised in the kitchen,

Original poster
TikTakTwo · 03/08/2021 00:17

@Smartiepants79

How often are we talking about and for what length of time? What alternatives can you come up with that would limit the issues that bother your parents? Can the cats be kept to a more limited area while they visit and specifically not left unsupervised in the kitchen,
They live several hours away so when they come it's usually for several days to make the journey worthwhile. It's every month or so at the minute (but obviously was considerably less during much of the pandemic).

Our downstairs is open plan so we can't keep them out of the kitchen.

Open to solutions if anyone has any!

OP posts:
HerMammy · 03/08/2021 00:21

Solution; parents stay in a hotel or come less often.

Joolsin · 03/08/2021 00:24

I thought this thread was going to be about not putting cats in a cattery when you go away and was going to say YABU. Then I read your op and I think you are totally not being unreasonable. The cats belong in your home, catteries are expensive, they aren't getting in your parents' room. The only way I would accept this is if your parents pay the cattery bill, seeing as they are the ones with the problem.

CoffeeAndDryShampoo · 03/08/2021 00:25

Will they be paying for your cats to stay in a cattery, or are they expecting you to pay?

Original poster
TikTakTwo · 03/08/2021 00:25

@HerMammy

Solution; parents stay in a hotel or come less often.
Yeah a hotel is probably the solution, although one of the main reasons they come to help is so that they can look after the early-rising toddler so I can catch up on lost sleep from the baby. Obviously they can't do that from a hotel room.
OP posts:
Original poster
TikTakTwo · 03/08/2021 00:26

@Joolsin

I thought this thread was going to be about not putting cats in a cattery when you go away and was going to say YABU. Then I read your op and I think you are totally not being unreasonable. The cats belong in your home, catteries are expensive, they aren't getting in your parents' room. The only way I would accept this is if your parents pay the cattery bill, seeing as they are the ones with the problem.
I'm more concerned about the cats' distress than the cost tbh
OP posts:
ilovesooty · 03/08/2021 00:37

It's the cats ' home. They don't have access to your parents' bedroom. If your parents can't accept that perhaps they should stop coming or stay in a hotel.

HeddaGarbled · 03/08/2021 00:46

one of the main reasons they come to help is so that they can look after the early-rising toddler so I can catch up on lost sleep from the baby. Obviously they can't do that from a hotel room

They’ve named their price for this massive favour. Your choice whether to pay it or forgo the favour.

Icecreamwafer · 03/08/2021 05:18

My house is my cats home. If people don't like it they can stay elsewhere. He comes first.

Goingbywhattime · 03/08/2021 05:19

It will probably then lead to start of suggestions to rehome the cats. I'd thought the cat fur would still transfer to clothes without the cats being home as it's difficult to vacuum it all up.

I think I'd also worry that such frequent changes to routine may risk stress and behavioural issues in the cats, but perhaps they cope fine with cattery stays. It certainly seems like lot of extra expense & effort they expect you for you to go to for each visit, but then will come in to play how it would be easier for you without the cats.

Maybe post in litter tray section if do want help with how to resolve the worktop walks and toileting issues.

CustardyCreams · 03/08/2021 05:25

Yanbu but cats on kitchen surfaces is really unhygienic, yuck. Are they indoor cats? Do you comb your cats every day to manage fur loss round the house? Do you have a decent vacuum cleaner and do you use it every day?

Maybe if you trained the cats better and we’re scrupulously clean, it would be an acceptable compromise?

NumberTheory · 03/08/2021 06:23

I think it would likely be pretty cruel on the cats. How much do you need their help and how insistent are they?

Would tackling some of the cat behaviours help? There are sprays you can get to discourage cats from jumping on some surfaces and you could try a bigger little tray or cleaning more often to try and stop accidents (also, if you don’t have one, a mat underneath so the accidents are contained in a sense.

On the hair front, a good pet specific vac, frequently used, vac furniture and curtains as well as floors amd consider grooming them with a cat comb just before parents visit.

girlmom21 · 03/08/2021 06:26

That's pretty harsh of your parents. I'd suggest they stop staying over if it's that much of a problem.

pinkcircustop · 03/08/2021 06:27

I’m with them; I’d find it really grim if you were letting your animals roam the kitchen surfaces and they were peeing where they shouldn’t be.

I guess you have to weigh up what’s more important to you. If I were them I’d prefer a hotel room too.

astoundedgoat · 03/08/2021 06:31

Is it really a favour though? For the sake of a lie in, you have to entertain two demanding house guests for 4 days, prepare the guest room, strip it down and now… get your cats into a carrier and drive them to a cattery for four days, pay at least £100, but almost certainly much more, then collect them after your parents leave and deal with two pissed off frightened cats… EVERY MONTH.

God, just get a nanny/mother’s help to come in from 6am to 10am once or twice a week to take the toddler AND baby while you have a break without all these strings attached.

Your parents are not helping you, they’re just pretending to.

Awomanwalksintoabar · 03/08/2021 06:32

@HeddaGarbled

one of the main reasons they come to help is so that they can look after the early-rising toddler so I can catch up on lost sleep from the baby. Obviously they can't do that from a hotel room

They’ve named their price for this massive favour. Your choice whether to pay it or forgo the favour.

Completely agree with this
Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 03/08/2021 06:32

It is your cats home not your parents. If guests come to our home they have to accept the cats. If they don't want to then they don't have to come.

Gensola · 03/08/2021 06:33

Cats get really distressed by being in the cattery. Your parents ABU.

Pottedpalm · 03/08/2021 06:37

Our cats never venture on to the worktop during the day, as they know it’s forbidden. They do go up there at night though, I occasionally see paw prints and recently a bowl of bits of bacon fat intended for the birds mysteriously disappeared. Yes, Bugsy, looking at you 😾.
Now that I know, I give the worktops a good wipe down first thing and never leave good out overnight.
As mentioned, regular vacuuming would also help, ideally first thing, but the whole reason for their visit is that you are not up early doing this. Is one parent more pro cat? Would they wipe/vacuum?

Wheresmrpenguin · 03/08/2021 06:43

Your parents abvu. I have white cats and hair gets everywhere, I hoover a lot and have lint rollers for people to use, no one seems to mind, but they're welcome to not come if it's a problem.
My cats get really upset in a cattery and can take a week or so for them to get over it. Plus at £15 a day it's expensive!

Medievalist · 03/08/2021 06:50

Accidents next to litter trays and cats on kitchen work surfaces? Sounds a bit gross to me.

Mothership4two · 03/08/2021 07:12

Put foil on all your kitchen surfaces - cats hate it.

I'm guessing that they are indoors cats. Is the litter box enclosed? We had a cat that would go into the litter tray but then stick his bum out and do his business next to it - a cat with very little brain! An enclosed box-like litter box stopped that. If they are just doing it around, then you have to clean their mess scrupulously with biological detergent and alcohol or they will keep at it.

Wet rubber gloves or lint to remove hairs from furniture and regular vacuuming will help with hair as well as daily brushing (of the cats!).

It's obviously really bothering your DM and she is probably concerned about hygiene for you all. Maybe they are finding it all a bit much to cope with. I have helped out before and thought well I have been there and done that but the reality is you forget just how hard it is/was with little ones.

No way my cat would be going to a cattery.

Muma1992 · 03/08/2021 07:21

I don't allow my cats on surfaces where we eat/prepare food.
However, this is their home & I would never just stick them in a cattery (which they would find incredibly stressful & be wondering where I was!!) fir a visitor to our home. Absolutely not.