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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to put my cats in a cattery

79 replies

TikTakTwo · 03/08/2021 00:04

We have a baby and a toddler and DH works away a lot, so sometimes my parents come to stay to help out. My mum is now suggesting we put our two cats in a cattery when they stay from now on because they don't like their fur getting on their things, that they walk on the kitchen surfaces, & that they have accidents next to the litter tray.

My parents stay in the guest room which the cats have zero access to it's not like they have to deal with the cats in their bed. They also used to have cats in the past so it's not like they don't understand cats.

I find the idea totally batshit tbh!

OP posts:

Justcallmebebes · 03/08/2021 07:23

50Medievalist

Accidents next to litter trays and cats on kitchen work surfaces? Sounds a bit gross to me.

^ This

SimonJT · 03/08/2021 07:27

My flat is my cats home, if someone suggested I get rid of her for a few days it would be a definite no.

NiceTwin · 03/08/2021 07:38

2 cats in a cattery will approximately cost you 60p/hour, they are ridiculously cheap to say they are looking after your precious pets 24 hours a day.
Why a pp has said they are massively expensive I don't know.
I guess it depends how much you value seeing your parent's.
Your cats walking on your kitchen surfaces is pretty grim as is shitting on the floor. If you don't have pets, it can be off putting when you realise how gross they can be.

Tinkerbellfluffyboots79 · 03/08/2021 07:45

I’d say you’ll try and stop the cats going on the surfaces and sort the litter tray issue out as that’s not great cats pong. But if they aren’t happy they don’t need to come. It is hard with a baby but I’m sure at those ages you will be doing more work having visitors than just the kids. I liked it when my ex went away or was nights/backs so I could just relax, get the kids to bed have a bath and sometimes an early night. I wouldn’t have wanted parents interfering or ‘helping’. Each to their own though. I’m sure things will get better as your baby gets older.

RubaiyatOfAnyone · 03/08/2021 07:47

I have two cats i love enormously who occasionally have accidents beside the litterbox, and i would never want to put them in a cattery, but i would absolutely not want to stay somewhere cats walk on the kitchen surfaces, that’s really unhygienic. Just push them off every time, “No!”, they’ll soon learn not to.

For the fur, buy a cheap robo-hoover and just have it go every day, at least whilst your DPs are there.

theliverpoolone · 03/08/2021 07:49

In my long experience of having cats, it's down to luck not training whether they go on work surfaces or not. I've had some that would never dream of it, but for those that do, no amount of 'training', deterrents, telling off, stops them.

MsSquiz · 03/08/2021 07:55

There's no way I'd be putting my cats in a chattery on a monthly basis.

We found out recently my nephew is allergic to cats and my first worry was that he wouldn't be able to visit our home. So far so good with his antihistamines - and that's an allergy, not an avoidance of cat fluff!

If I wanted to avoid cat fluff, I wouldn't stay at a cat owners home. It gets everywhere, even rooms they don't venture into (toddler's bedroom)

Carrotinthesky · 03/08/2021 07:58

I'm reading between the lines that it's actually OP who really wants her parents to come and help out, and having done so they're finding it difficult looking after the children with the cats around too. I know how much extra work that is because I've had 2 cats and babies at the same time. some cats are more in your face than others.
Sounds like they've said they'll come providing the cats are not there. Obviously not many cat owners would do that, but it depends how desperate you are for the help. There vast majority of parents manage without.

Rosebel · 03/08/2021 07:59

I have 2 cats and would not allow them on the kitchen surface, nor would I be happy about accidents by the litter tray especially considering how young your children are.
Having said that putting cats in a cattery is bloody expensive. I wouldn't want to payj.
Will your parents pay for it? Or go halves? How long do they expect you to keep boarding the cats for?? Short term or will they still ask in 5/10 years time?
It's nice of them to come and help you and let you catch up on sleep while they build a relationship with GC but they can't dictate what happens in the house.
I'm not sure what the solution is. Can you visit them? Or hotel as has been suggested.?

Theunamedcat · 03/08/2021 08:00

I have one cat who doesn't go on the side in the kitchen one who carries around tinfoil in his teeth to scare his brothers and one who goes on the side in the kitchen to get my attention so purely so I will pick him up and give him A cuddle they are brothers so raised the same way its more luck than training to get a cat that doesn't jump up

Use the money you save on a cattery to find a babysitter who can come in and police your toddler occasionally

Hercisback · 03/08/2021 08:02

It's grim to let them on kitchen surfaces tbh. I'd stop that or lock them out of the kitchen. It does sound like they aren't the most hygienic of cats.

Saidtoomuch · 03/08/2021 08:04

I wouldn't stay at your home if cats are on kitchen worktops and defecating on the floor 🤮
Equally I would never however put my pets into boarding to make way for visitors.
Can you not keep them off the worktops or set up one of those catio things?

StrangeToSee · 03/08/2021 08:47

Can’t you put a cat gate on the kitchen door? Presumably you have a toddler gate so it would just be a higher version. Cats on the surfaces is grim and unhygienic. Their hair will stick to the surfaces, food packets, drift in the air. Our cats were never allowed in the kitchen, and if they jumped up on furniture my dad used to put them back on the floor instantly and tell them off. Therefore they didn’t leave cat hair all over the sofas and armchairs. They had cat beds and those beds on the back of the radiators.

I think indoor litter trays are also grim unless you’re potty training a kitten. They reek! I had to leave a friend’s house abruptly once because the smell of her cat defecating in the litter tray nearly made me vomit (obviously I didn’t say it was the cat!)

Can’t the litter tray live in the garden?

We also had a no cats upstairs rule, and parents vacuumed daily, so the hair didn’t build up.

Whaleandsnail6 · 03/08/2021 08:52

Yanbu to not want to put the cats in the cattery. But your parents are not unreasonable to not want to stay in a home with the cats so it wouldn't be unreasonable for them to stop visiting so much (or stay in hotel) if you don't put the cats in cattery.

I suppose it's up to you which you don't want to do most... Loose your lie ins when they visit or put cats in cattery.

Wjevtvha · 03/08/2021 08:58

I wouldn’t; we’ve used a cattery once with our cats and they were really unimpressed.
Also our cats had accidents next to the litter box so we have two next to each other and it’s solved it

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/08/2021 09:03

How many cats do you have and how many litter boxes? They need one each really or you will have messes on the floor.

No, wouldn’t put mine in a cattery for visitors, it’s their home, visitors have to accept that or stay elsewhere.

Jubaju · 03/08/2021 09:09

I doubt you could book a cattery every month at short notice- ours is booked up so far in advance.

Train the cats
Put the toddler in nursery a few mornings
Go stay at your parents instead

RitaFires · 03/08/2021 09:19

I thought this was going to be about putting cats in the cattery while on holiday and was going to say my cat is enormous and really quick on his feet so I'd only trust professionals to care for him while we're away.

I don't think it's practical to send your cats away so often but how reliant are you on help from your parents? If they struggle to deal with the cats then it's not unreasonable of them to say so. I'm not sure what a viable compromise would be in this scenario, you might have to make other arrangements for help if your parents are unable to do it.

FairFuming · 03/08/2021 09:23

How much do you need your parents help? Can you manage without it so often?
I think their suggestion is insane.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 03/08/2021 09:35

I would never put my cats in a cattery. Did it once for a week and they were so miserable when I collected them that I said I'd never do it again. One of them had refused to eat while they were there. I now have a lovely lady who visits them twice a day when I'm on holiday.

My best friend is allergic to cats and she still comes to stay but we keep the cats out of her room and she takes anti histamines if she gets a reaction. She would never dream of asking me to put my cats in a cattery!

Babdoc · 03/08/2021 09:46

Buy a bigger litter tray. Or put two together.
Consider whether you actually need your parents staying when DH is away. I was widowed with two babies. My nearest relatives were 250 miles away, and couldn’t come as they worked full time. Yet I’ve managed the last 30 years on my own. Most single mothers do.

Fr0thandBubble · 03/08/2021 09:51

I think it would be very cruel to the cats.

AgentJohnson · 03/08/2021 10:00

@StrangeToSee, Can’t the litter tray live in the garden?. Yeah, because everyone has a garden. I’d love for the litter tray to live outside but my fourth storey apartment’s outside, is a balcony.

SupermanWithTheGreyHair · 03/08/2021 10:05

2 cats in a cattery will approximately cost you 60p/hour, they are ridiculously cheap to say they are looking after your precious pets 24 hours a day.

I wouldn’t care if it was free or if the cattery paid me, there’s no way I’d do this. The cats belong at home.
If your shoes, the parents need to deal with it or they don’t come and you deal with the kids yourself. Do you really need them there? If they did stay at a hotel could they not help out later in the day so you could get a nap?
I’ve never had cats who have gone on kitchen surfaces but just give them a wipe over before use and problem solved. A mess found the litter tray, easily cleaned. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I tend to find people that see animals as ‘dirty’ are very hard work and I definitely wouldn’t want them staying in my house. Kids can be pretty dirty creatures too. 😅

Sceptre86 · 03/08/2021 10:10

Yabu, you're OK accepting help to take care of your own children but not willing to compromise. They should just leave you to it if you are unwilling to look at other ways of tackling their concerns.

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