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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at him..

38 replies

totallyfedup88 · 02/08/2021 17:27

I'm 8 months pregnant and my partner is going to a football match. AIBU to be a bit upset/annoyed that he's not even thought about me and the risk of covid given how many people he'll come into contact with? If I wasn't pregnant I wouldn't think twice but I just feel like he isn't even considering me.

OP posts:
SmidgenofaPigeon · 02/08/2021 17:30

I’m eight months pregnant too OP. My DH will be going to a match on Saturday.

Good for him if he wants to go as far as I’m concerned. We are both double vaccinated. Are you not?

Aquamarine1029 · 02/08/2021 17:34

If you aren't vaccinated you should be quite concerned.

Bluntness100 · 02/08/2021 17:36

Are you not vaccinated ? Is he also not?

Ponoka7 · 02/08/2021 17:36

Have you posted about this before? Is there any medical reason why you haven't both had the vaccine? It's the pub bit that the most risk. The outside football bit is showing not to be a particular risk.

WildingFae · 02/08/2021 17:37

Are you both vaccinated?

Presumably he will be wearing a mask.

I'd tell him to get straight in the shower and his clothes in the washing machine when he gets home.

Original poster
totallyfedup88 · 02/08/2021 17:41

I'm not vaccinated as I decided against it with being pregnant and he's has his first jab. No I've never posted about it before so it's good to know it's not just me who's been in this position! x

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 02/08/2021 17:43

The reports are saying pregnant women who aren’t vaccinated are getting ill from Covid, would you consider getting it?

I think you’re right to be very concerned if you’re not vaccinated.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 02/08/2021 17:46

Well NOT being vaccinated goes against current advice (which I believe changed back in April)

You are at risk of being really ill from covid if you’re not vaccinated in third trimester so I don’t know why you’d put yourself at risk. I have to commute on the tube to auto every day, as does DH, and I didn’t want to curb seeing friends and family either after to not being able to for so long so the vaccine was a no brainier.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 02/08/2021 17:46

*work not auto.

Bluntness100 · 02/08/2021 18:43

I think we don’t need to post links op but you can see the guidance and reports on the numbers of pregnant women being severely ill from the delta variant and how much more more mother snd baby are at risk v the general population yourself , . In all seriousness you need to talk to your partner and ideally look to isolate from him if he does go. I don’t think this is a risk you can take.

Bluntness100 · 02/08/2021 18:45

@totallyfedup88

I'm not vaccinated as I decided against it with being pregnant and he's has his first jab. No I've never posted about it before so it's good to know it's not just me who's been in this position! x
The poster isn’t in your position as they are double vaccinated, it’s very different for them, 💐
clickychicky · 02/08/2021 18:45

If you don't want to get vaccinated then I would isolate from him. Have you shown him the information on the risks to you and baby?

pepsicolagirl · 02/08/2021 18:46

I am double vaccinated but I have to say, I think if I was pregnant I would have had to think long and hard about whether to get the jab. Ultimately I probably would have done but not without concerns

Either way, if he is going to a large gathering I would want him to isolate afterwards - vaccination or not.

MissConductUS · 02/08/2021 18:57

OT, but I would give another thought to getting one of the mRNA jabs.

Preliminary Findings of mRNA Covid-19 Vaccine Safety in Pregnant Persons

They looked at 35,000 pregnancies and didn't see any safety signals. Getting the delta variant, which you cannot effectively hide from, is definitely not safe during pregnancy.

Sandinmyknickers · 02/08/2021 19:51

If you've decided not to get vaccinated, then yes, both you and your partner need to impose restrictions on your lifestyle. Presumably he supported your choice not get vaccinated, and therefore accepted that essentially you both will need to live by more stringent measures- did you jot discuss the implications of this when you made youd choice?

Bluntness100 · 02/08/2021 19:59

My daughters strongly of the opinion the cases are much much higher than is being reported because it’s young people snd they aren’t getting tested as they don’t want to isolate. She says people are coughing their guts up basically.

If it is much more prevalent than testing is showing, because young people don’t want to get tested, then he’s at signficant risk at a football match. He’s going to be in crowds, with people close to him, unmasked for periods of time.

I agree with the pp I assume he is aware of the implications of your decision not to vaccinate and the signficant additional risk you and your baby face, so he needs to either not go, or stay somewhere else if he does. Or you need to stay someplace else. You need to be isolated from him, it is too big a risk for you both to take.

Aprilx · 02/08/2021 20:09

@totallyfedup88

I'm not vaccinated as I decided against it with being pregnant and he's has his first jab. No I've never posted about it before so it's good to know it's not just me who's been in this position! x
As you have decided to not get vaccinated, this is on you. Pregnant women are encouraged to get vaccinated same as anyone else.
MadeOfStarStuff · 02/08/2021 20:11

YABU, you expect him to not do something he’s allowed to do but you refuse to do something that would protect you and reduce the risk.

GintyMcGinty · 02/08/2021 20:12

Get your vaccinations done.

lannistunut · 02/08/2021 20:13

I think YANBU, although I am not sure I would have made the same choice as you regarding vaccination.

But he is being stupid and pretty selfish because at eight months, if he catches it and you go into early labour, he is missing the birth and isolating from his own baby.

lannistunut · 02/08/2021 20:14

you expect him to not do something he’s allowed to do loads of expectant fathers skip things they are 'allowed to do' in the final weeks before the baby comes. This is a non-argument.

aSofaNearYou · 02/08/2021 20:20

You will always get people who are very against anyone being worried about Covid saying "good on him", because this is their main agenda on all posts that mention it. And you also always get a lot of people who are adamant you should NEVER stop your poor, controlled partner going to football, which is of course extremely important 🙄. But I think he's being a twat. The baby will be here in a month. It would really not have been that hard for him to have put his family first on this occasion.

pinkcircustop · 02/08/2021 20:21

YABU, and you should be vaccinated.

NerrSnerr · 02/08/2021 20:24

The baby will be here in a month. It would really not have been that hard for him to have put his family first on this occasion.

You could also argue that about the OP's choice not to get vaccinated. The OP has put herself at the risk of covid by going against all of the evidence and advice.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 02/08/2021 20:24

I'm not vaccinated as I decided against it

Well, it's on your own head then. Sorry.