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Original poster

What to do about PIL Visit

28 replies

Confused102 · 02/08/2021 07:04

We are not in UK where a tiny percentage of the population has been vaccinated. FIL is double vaccinated and MiL has had one. They want to visit, Dh and I have one dose. Dh has an underlying condition as well. We have 2 dc under 5. We are emigrating very soon in a few weeks. My family won't be seeing us as we saw them a few months ago. Pil want to visit and I'm feeling very anxious about this. Dh said he will do what's best but I can see he feels very sad if we decided they shouldn't come. I would also like them to visit, as FIL is elderly and he might not come visit us in New country which is very far away. I would hate if anything should happen, and dh and dc didn't see them. What would you do? How can we make this work?

OP posts:
CeeceeBloomingdale · 02/08/2021 07:08

I would allow the visit. All adults are vaccinated or partially vaccinated.

toomuchfaster · 02/08/2021 07:11

What do you mean 'make it work'? They get on a plane and come. They ensure they follow the correct procedure for entry and then entry back to their home country.

Original poster
Confused102 · 02/08/2021 07:11

Given that DC obviously are not. Sorry for being a bit dim with this. We are in a country where the majority believes this is some made up virus and vaccinated percentage is so low because of refusal to take it. We won't reach any sort of herd immunity any time soon. I might be extra anxious as we are emigrating and lots at stake and just picturing the worst scenarios here.
Please talk some sense into me.

OP posts:
LawnFever · 02/08/2021 07:12

Allow the visit, I’d see my family too in these circumstances tbh.

Travelling abroad to wherever you’re going you’ll be in airports/planes etc with all sorts of people, so refusing to see people who you know are vaccinated seems unreasonable.

girlmom21 · 02/08/2021 07:12

You're moving countries and are begrudging his parents a visit? Come on OP, that's a bit unfair.

Serenschintte · 02/08/2021 07:15

Bet very kindly I think you are extra anxious. As someone who hasn’t seen family for nearly 2 years because of this pandemic please see your family.
Testing is a possibility if you want to cover all bases.
See your family. Have a lovely time with them.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 02/08/2021 07:15

I'm not fully understanding your concern. Are you worried about catching covid from them or worried about ILs as few are vaccinated in your country? You ask how can you make this work, it's the same as any other visit. If you're all being cautious try to isolate or semi isolate before the visit, do lateral flows if you can.

DeathStare · 02/08/2021 07:15

If anyone caught it would you be prevented from emigrating? If so I'd lock all of us in the house, not leave and see nobody as it's too high stakes.

What's the travel difference for PIL between where you are now and where you are moving to?

Original poster
Confused102 · 02/08/2021 07:15

Please don't mistake me, I want them to visit because it may be a very long time to see them and FIL is elderly.
I'm just very anxious, if any of us do get covid then we will not be allowed to emigrate. House sold, everything packed up and almost out the door. I know I'm being anxious. Dh is worried as well. Also knowing that a few friends whose dc got it have been critically ill.

OP posts:
Original poster
Confused102 · 02/08/2021 07:18

PIL are not in a different country, just a different city. And yes that is the risk with emigrating as pp said. But we are stuck in a very difficult and emotional position as we don't plan to come back here for a long time and FIL is elderly and we don't see him travelling that distance.

OP posts:
CeeceeBloomingdale · 02/08/2021 07:23

You say your emigrating in a few weeks. Surely even if you caught covid you would be over it by the time you would be due to emigrate? I'll ask the question again, are you worried about you or the ILs? You are more risk to them with children in the house.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 02/08/2021 07:23

You'll regret it if you don't see them and something happens to FIL when you leave. Dc aren't vaccinated in the UK either.

tothelakes · 02/08/2021 07:26

Can they stay in a hotel? That will help you keep a bit more distance. If the weather is ok, lots of outdoor meet ups for walks and picnics.
I can understand the anxiety if your move is imminent and isolating could mess up your travel plans.
I'd be keeping very distant from people in the final two weeks before travelling.

DDiva · 02/08/2021 07:26

Can you all isolate for a week before the visit ? Do you have access to lateral glow tests ?

DeathStare · 02/08/2021 07:28

Could you get all of you to self-isolate for a few days, lateral flow tests everyday and then meet up?

EccentricaGalumbits · 02/08/2021 07:30

How widespread is covid where you are?

Original poster
Confused102 · 02/08/2021 07:30

We don't have Lateral flow tests here. We are thinking asking them to isolate for a week, then visit, and we would have about 2 weeks before we leave. We all wear masks around each other. We won't be able to do many outdoor visits as we are also in a partial lockdown. I definitely think the right thing to do is see them, I just don't know how to make it work. FIL might have a different idea of isolating too, so that is a worry.

OP posts:
Maskless · 02/08/2021 07:37

I'm sorry you have been terrorised by the government.

Cocomade · 02/08/2021 07:39

Of course the right thing to do is see them esp when your emigrating!
DC aren't vaccinated in the UK either.
Isolate afew days before hand and you will all be fine. I personally wouldn't do the masks but each to their own. ESP if you can't actually go anywhere so just be all of you in the house.

woodfort · 02/08/2021 07:41

I would just have a normal visit? I understand you want to be fairly cautious but the vulnerable people in your family have been fully vaccinated…?

Gosh, I find the idea that you would wear masks around family and especially on what could be your last ever time with them quite shocking, but maybe that’s normal where you are.

Thirtyrock39 · 02/08/2021 07:44

Last summer in uk no one was vaccinated and we were allowed to see extended family indoors. I was quite anxious about it at first. What I did was as we have an en-suite on our bedroom I gave visitors that room and they only used that bathroom during stay
Kept windows open as much as possible and socialised in garden lots but we didn't wear masks or isolate before the visit
A bit of caution I think is sensible but you should definitely still see them

Disfordarkchocolate · 02/08/2021 07:45

I would see them. Unless you are locking yourselves in the house till you move there is a chance one of you will get Covid. However, the most risky thing you are planning is actually going through the airport and being on the plane, that is a massive amount of contact. If you're happy to risk that then a visit from your elderly PIL seems reasonable to me.

Original poster
Confused102 · 02/08/2021 07:48

Gosh, I find the idea that you would wear masks around family and especially on what could be your last ever time with them quite shocking, but maybe that’s normal where you are.

Unfortunately that is the way of life here. All kids have to use masks from 3years old. My poor dc who have started school don't know any other way Sad.

OP posts:
LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 02/08/2021 08:01

Order at home lateral flows.
Stop being hysterical and let them visit.

Utter Worst case scenario letting them visit: you will book an airbnb for 2 weeks and amend your flights.
Utter Worst case scenario for not letting them visit: something happens to FIL and your husband cant move past it (i would struggle to tbh) and your marriage is damaged.

stonebrambleboy · 02/08/2021 08:51

LivingLaVida OP has already said they don't have lateral flow tests where she lives. She isn't being hysterical she's just asking for advice.

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