Toddler accused of breaking friend’s washing machine

[JellyJellyTooToo]

I’ll try to keep this as brief as poss but sorry if it’s a bit long….

Was watering a friends flowers while they were away. In the one occasion I took my toddler with me she ran a bit riot and while I was busy watering the plants in the garden she managed to move a few bits around in the house etc.

She wasn’t inside on her own, an older dc was with her but had an operation a few weeks ago and I hadn’t realised she’d sat on the sofa and stopped watching what little one was doing. She really should have told me she wasn’t watching her but didn’t 😒.

Toddler managed to put a flip flop into the washing machine and sprinkle it with washing powder. She may have fiddled with the buttons but certainly didn’t switch it on. Drum was open. I removed the flip flop but just left powder in the machine for them to use when they got back (but forgot to mention it). I didn’t for one minute think she’d broken it.

Yesterday, I received an irate phone call asking what the hell we’d done to the washing machine - I explained about the flip flop. Apparently it wasn’t working at all, no power, lights etc. He slammed the phone down on me.

For background said “friend” is the partner of a dear friend of mine who sadly died. He is an alcoholic and always has been for as long as I’ve known him. I remember my late friend saying how he’d get in funny moods etc but I’ve never seen this side of him before, he’s always been pretty chilled-out around me.

As little one had fiddled with the machine, offered to pay for repair/replacement straight as it could have been her. He won’t take any money. But has obviously gone round the house and checked everything and is now accusing us of peeling a flap of paint off of the door (which was coming off anyway)

However I can’t help thinking that he’s just got into a tizzy and taken it out on me, all this stuff about missed flights and family issues came out and he was very stressed.

He won’t let us go round to look at the machine for ourselves. Apparently his dd has to quarantine

I know it was definitely working before as I used it myself when we stayed there for one night after being in hospital. He said there were no lights on, but when I used it I actually thought that it could be broken as no lights came on until I pressed start. So I can see how it would be easy to think it was broken.

He’s pulled it out, changed the fuse, checked the filter etc. He also hoovered the powder out for some reason.

I can’t help but think that he’s seen the powder in the drum, panicked, fiddled with the machine without checking the manual and settings and then possibly done something to it himself. Or maybe it was always working but he hadn’t changed the setting back or something and he just freaked out.

Our toddler fiddles with out washing machine etc all the time (as well as other things) and has never managed to cause an electrical fault in anything. I just don’t understand how she could possibly have broken it 🤷🏻‍♀️

So…
IABU she broke the machine
Or
IANBU it was some kind of alcoholic episode

[oneglassandpuzzled]

I think it's unlikely that a toddler could break a washing machine. Or they'd be breaking every day as most people will admit that their toddlers have occasionally pushed random buttons or put random objects into them.

[ravenmum]

@Fullyhuman You wouldn't be annoyed if you just asked someone to water your garden, but when you got back you found that they'd moved things around in your house and used your washing machine?

[pinkcircustop]

Yep, YABU because you weren’t supervising your toddler. You shouldn’t be leaving that to another child who has recently had an op and think “job done”.

[IonaLeg]

He’s being unreasonable. Even assuming your toddler did break it (and there isn’t really any way to know, but it’s certainly possible) he didn’t need to be so rude or difficult when you were doing him a favour. He could have discussed it with you in a fair and reasonable way.

[scaffoldingtheworld]

In all honesty OP, you don’t know if it was your toddler or not and yes, she should have been better supervised. That said, the reactions of many here mean until you are flogged or sever your arm at the elbow, you are going to get some shitty responses.

You’ve offered to pay. You can’t do more than that, along with your apology.

[LesLavandes]

Yab hugely unreasonable to not supervise tour toddler

[hyperbole001]

I'm more concerned that your toddler was left alone with washing detergent.

[PlasticEgg]

Well this is all very odd. Both of you sound very unboundaried, shifty and unwilling to take responsibility for your actions. What were you really doing while your kid was fucking around with the machine?

[Notmoresugar]

You were doing a good deed and it's sods law that it has back-fired on you.

Unfortunately it's a mistake to leave an active into everything toddler unsupervised.

In future don't help him again it's really not worth the hassle it's turned out to be.

Hope it all works out ok and he sees sense once he's read the bloody manual.

[ElvisPresleyHadABaby]

Is anyone else reminded of the supersoaker thread?

[TatianaBis]

I don't understand why you stayed in his house for a night? If you're watering his plants he must live fairly near?

If you used the washing machine, you could have broken it then?

[MobyDicksTinyCanoe]

My washing machine is 14 years old and has survived two Autistic toddlers going to town on it.

Unless your child soaked it in water or chucked a grenade in along with her flip flop there's no way theyve broken it. There would have been visible damage at the time. And as it wasnt even switched on then it wasnt them.

It sounds like your friend is stressed with the death of their partner, let them know they have your support but I really wouldnt worry anymore about the washing machine. Because their outburst won't be about that

[milkyaqua]

Well, why don't you go back over there - without the toddler - and have a go at starting his machine for him. That way, if he's just not working it properly, or you've mucked something up when you used it, it will be clear. Clear-er.

[CounsellorTroi]

You really shouldn't have been letting your toddler run wild in someone else's house.

[SometimesIFeedTheSparrows]

As the child of an alcoholic I spent years being accused of all sorts of things that were imagined or exaggerated and there was no way the alcoholic would ever have taken my explanation. Sometimes it didn't matter as they would forget and other times it was constantly held over me that I'd phoned the speaking clock (nope) or smoked inside the house (nope) or lost X or Y or any of the made up stuff.
You trying to explain about the lights not coming on or offering to pay and not being listened to pushes it into the realm of alcoholic ranting IME.

[Sirzy]

And why did you need to use his washing machine in a one night stay?

[Fluffycloudland77]

I think he’s tapping you up for booze money. Washing machines don’t die on you because a toddler pressed a few buttons.

I wouldn’t pay him a penny. Unless it’s a good make it’s not going to last forever anyway.

[YelloYelloYello]

Did he know you stayed over for the night?

[Words]

How long ago did his wife die?

[a8mint]

Fiddling with the buttons could not break the machine and neither fould fiddling with the door unless she literally smashed the lock or oulled it off its hinges which i doubt a toodler could do.
I am more concerned for the safety of a toddler unsupervised in a strange house and having access to washing detergent. Not on to blame it on a child recovering from an operation !

[girlmom21]

@Fluffycloudland77

I think he’s tapping you up for booze money. Washing machines don’t die on you because a toddler pressed a few buttons.

I wouldn’t pay him a penny. Unless it’s a good make it’s not going to last forever anyway.

Considering she's already offered to replace it and he's said no I can't imagine this is the case...

[enjoyingscience]

The alcoholic bit is very very relevant here - as well as thinking it’s almost impossible that a washing machine broke just from the treatment you describe, it sounds very much like a delusion or way of disguising his confusion that he can’t make it work. It’s tragic but much easier to blame you for something that is actually alcohol’s fault.

[DingDongThongs]

OP - the only person who should have been watching her was you. Not a child's resposibility!

[DingDongThongs]

or responsibility - it's boiling here lol!

[RevolutionRadio]

If the plants were outside why did you need to go inside at all with your toddler?