Toddler accused of breaking friend’s washing machine

[JellyJellyTooToo]

I’ll try to keep this as brief as poss but sorry if it’s a bit long….

Was watering a friends flowers while they were away. In the one occasion I took my toddler with me she ran a bit riot and while I was busy watering the plants in the garden she managed to move a few bits around in the house etc.

She wasn’t inside on her own, an older dc was with her but had an operation a few weeks ago and I hadn’t realised she’d sat on the sofa and stopped watching what little one was doing. She really should have told me she wasn’t watching her but didn’t 😒.

Toddler managed to put a flip flop into the washing machine and sprinkle it with washing powder. She may have fiddled with the buttons but certainly didn’t switch it on. Drum was open. I removed the flip flop but just left powder in the machine for them to use when they got back (but forgot to mention it). I didn’t for one minute think she’d broken it.

Yesterday, I received an irate phone call asking what the hell we’d done to the washing machine - I explained about the flip flop. Apparently it wasn’t working at all, no power, lights etc. He slammed the phone down on me.

For background said “friend” is the partner of a dear friend of mine who sadly died. He is an alcoholic and always has been for as long as I’ve known him. I remember my late friend saying how he’d get in funny moods etc but I’ve never seen this side of him before, he’s always been pretty chilled-out around me.

As little one had fiddled with the machine, offered to pay for repair/replacement straight as it could have been her. He won’t take any money. But has obviously gone round the house and checked everything and is now accusing us of peeling a flap of paint off of the door (which was coming off anyway)

However I can’t help thinking that he’s just got into a tizzy and taken it out on me, all this stuff about missed flights and family issues came out and he was very stressed.

He won’t let us go round to look at the machine for ourselves. Apparently his dd has to quarantine

I know it was definitely working before as I used it myself when we stayed there for one night after being in hospital. He said there were no lights on, but when I used it I actually thought that it could be broken as no lights came on until I pressed start. So I can see how it would be easy to think it was broken.

He’s pulled it out, changed the fuse, checked the filter etc. He also hoovered the powder out for some reason.

I can’t help but think that he’s seen the powder in the drum, panicked, fiddled with the machine without checking the manual and settings and then possibly done something to it himself. Or maybe it was always working but he hadn’t changed the setting back or something and he just freaked out.

Our toddler fiddles with out washing machine etc all the time (as well as other things) and has never managed to cause an electrical fault in anything. I just don’t understand how she could possibly have broken it 🤷🏻‍♀️

So…
IABU she broke the machine
Or
IANBU it was some kind of alcoholic episode

[Intherightplace]

You've offered to pay. Leave it at that and contact him again in a few days when he's less stressed.

Washing powder is really nasty stuff though. You had a lucky escape if toddlenwas playing with it. A friend's MIL (who had dementia) died after eating a washing tablet and a colleague's DS was in hospital, touch and go, for weeks after a similar episode.

[Applesonthelawn]

Am I the only person who thinks it's impossible for a toddler to break a washing machine? They are incredibly robust machines and it takes more than a flip flop to damage them. I think it's more likely that he doesn't know how to use the machine properly, or that wear and tear comes to light during a period when it's not used for a while, e.g. when he's been away.

[Ozanj]

My last machine used to regularly stop working when we left the door open because spiders or slugs would crawl in and fry one of the sensors. So it’s possible the toddler did cause the damage just by opening the door.

[WildWestWanda]

Look, just own the fact that were not looking after you dc properly, and get the machine fixed.

[romdowa]

You've offered to pay for the machine , I really don't see that there is any more that you can do. Although I would suggest never ever doing that friend a favour again

[Eleoura]

YABVU- Its not your older child's responsibility to look after your toddler who is 'running riot'! You said it was not a child-proof house, yet you still allowed the toddler to run about and have access to laundry products, whilst you were outside for who knows how long!?!

Could the toddler have somehow turned the child lock on?

[zingally]

You shouldn't have let your toddler "run riot" in someone elses home. Even if you're doing them a favour.

But, at the same time, he's probably over-reacting a bit.

You've offered to pay for a new machine. Leave it there, and give him a bit of a wide berth for a while.

[Debetswell]

Of course you dc hasn't broken his washing machine.
My dgs was obsessed with washing machines, fiddled with everyone he ever saw and never broke one. Manufacturers know kids will mess with appliances. I wouldn't pay and I wouldn't apologise either.
And just to add when my dgc put his great grandmother's false teeth in the dishwasher they came up a treat!

[Dohrehmee]

You don’t know what else your toddler could have done to the machine. Bottom line is that it’s not working as before. Fair enough that he’s angry . But the fact you ve also offered to pay for the repair is good. With some machines if you don’t report a fault for five years you get your insurance back. That’s what we had but unfortunately a fault did occur. Maybe he’s angry about that as well

[JellyJellyTooToo]

FamishedAtAnAirport Yes we had a massive thunderstorm, electrical socket is on an outer wall. So much water, lots of flooding near us and actually have some electrical probs at our house now due to water ingress I think. But he did check the socket and change the fuse.

There is a child lock, I asked him about that, he didn’t know how to use it. Also an eco function I think that switches lights off. He didn’t seem to know much about the different functions….I may have even accidentally changed the function myself when I used it after hospital.

For those who are confused, I stayed for one night with older dd. Then took toddler on a different day to water plants.

[JellyJellyTooToo]

I think the machine is just under 5 years old as I remembered when he bought it

[SquirryTheSquirrel]

I know it was definitely working before as I used it myself when we stayed there for one night after being in hospital.

Are you sure this wasn't when it broke? It seems unlikely a toddler would be capable of breaking a washing machine.

Whatever - you've offered to pay for a repair - I don't see what else you could be expected to do. You were, after all, doing him a favour by watering his plants so he should cut you some slack on the child-running-amok front.

[Daphnise]

So it's OK to let your child run riot in another house?

Your whole attitude is totally unreasonable, as if the person should almost be glad to have had the privilege of your daughter's bad and unsupervised behaviour.

However if you pay for the repair or a new machine at least you've done something- changing your attitude is probably going to take a bit longer.

[MeridianB]

Your friend’s reaction sounds strange but there is lots of drip-feeding about staying over, using the machine etc. I’m really confused about why you needed to use the washing machine if you stayed there one night.

And if your teen was just home from hospital it was probably not the best idea to expect them to supervise a toddler who is into everything. Apart from anything else, your toddler could have been hurt/eaten laundry pod etc. So, I think YABU on this one.

[JellyJellyTooToo]

Debetswell And just to add when my dgc put his great grandmother's false teeth in the dishwasher they came up a treat! 🤣😂🤣

[viviennedoesitagain]

Well if the toddler did break it then the toddler should absolutely pay for it.

[CantBeAssed]

Could a toddler break a washing machine? Maybe they could mess up a programme but I find it hard to believe they could full on break it your friend sounds like a CF...given that you were doing him a favour and offered to sort out machine you would think he would behave a little more graceful. You have done all you can, maybe time to cut ties....( I also have a toddler and teenager so totally get that situation! Ignore the pearl clutches, they seem to be out in force today)

[FenceSplinters]

You sound very judgmental of this person. I don’t think you should be his friend.

[veeeeh]

No good deed goes unpunished. Whatever happened could have been sorted amicably between you, there is no need for the type of hysterical behaviour demonstrated by your "friend".

Leave him to it now, and move on, sounds like he is a bit of a hot tempered individual, and TBH a "friend" would not turn on you like that over a WM. Or anything like that at all.

I'd give him a wide berth. You have offered to fix it, up to him to accept or keep ranting. Either way his attitude stinks and I'd be saying Sayonara to this liability of a "friend". He sounds awful.

[ravenmum]

Sounds like you or your dd may potentially have broken it, or at least altered the settings and made it look that way.
Yes, normally offering to pay should have been enough.
But I can see why he'd be pissed off. From his point of view, you've been in his house once before overnight, during which time you used his washing machine. I'd find that odd already from an overnight guest.
Then you are over there during the day watering his plants, and he comes home to find powder in the machine as if you've been using it again without asking. From his point of view you could well be a CF who's been going round to his house when he's out and making yourselves at home, using his appliances, going in rooms you don't need to be in. He might well feel as if you've been taking advantage of him.
You know what really happened, but it's not weird of him to be suspicious and annoyed.

[CakeandGo]

and is now accusing us of peeling a flap of paint off of the door
Did she? Or do you not know?

YAB massively unreasonable not to be supervising a small child around washing powder and whilst in someone else’s home.

[Datingandnoideahowto]

Why did you need to use a washing machine when you stayed for one night? Couldn’t it have waited til you got home?

[Fullyhuman]

I’m surprised how many people would be pissed off at this. I’d be grateful you watered my plants and for the offer of paying for a repair - I wouldn’t accept the whole cost, esp not of a new machine, I’d feel bad that doing me a favour cost you money, and would suggest going halves. I’d not feel entitled to be rude to you at all, and if I was upset I’d pay a professional to care for the garden next time and not ask a parent of a toddler! Peeling some paint off that was already peeling is one of those things that can happen when a toddler comes over. It would have come away soon anyway, it can be repainted.