Page 3 | To stick to my guns on this

EveningOverRooftops · 01/08/2021 16:54

Get the carpet and room cleaned properly, new rug and curtains and that’ll do.

Unles you pan to put vinyl in the kids room. I did that with DC. Best decision ever as it’s easier to clean. Yes it has holes in it atm but it’s been down maybe 7/8 yrs and has held up mostly and my DC has additional needs.

quizqueen · 01/08/2021 17:00

As it's your inheritance, I'd just keep it in your 'running away' fund! Step children, if they don't live there as permanent family members, are your husband's expense anyway. I'd also expect better behaviour at looking after things from the children so pens should banned upstairs.

QueenBee52 · 01/08/2021 17:25

WTF are you wasting inheritance decorating ?!

Keep it as a nest egg....

clickychicky · 01/08/2021 17:40

If he wants to pay for them to have new carpet maybe offer to have it done at the same time as the carpet you are paying for if it saves money doing it all together.

billy1966 · 01/08/2021 17:42

@QueenBee52

WTF are you wasting inheritance decorating ?!

Keep it as a nest egg....

This is very wise advice.

girlmom21 · 01/08/2021 17:49

So in essence you're decorating every room in the house except your DSC's room?

Can you afford to do their room too?

Carpetright do easy clean carpets which are fantastic.
You could then upcycle their furniture and give the walls a refresh and everyone's happy and nobody's being left out.

I'm with DH here I think.

cansu · 01/08/2021 18:11

Just decorate the room and titivate it a bit. Let them choose a few new things. It doesn't have to be hugely expensive. I suppose the test would be what would you do if it was your own 8 and 10 year old?

clickychicky · 01/08/2021 18:12

Can you afford to do their room too?

Can DH afford to do their room? Why should OP pay for new carpet when they can't look after the one they've got.

clickychicky · 01/08/2021 18:13

@cansu

Just decorate the room and titivate it a bit. Let them choose a few new things. It doesn't have to be hugely expensive. I suppose the test would be what would you do if it was your own 8 and 10 year old?

Why would that be the test? They aren't her own 8 and 10 year old. This is her inheritance. She's not going to be doing up her own child's room.

I'd do the home improvements you want with your money OP and save anything left for your little one.

girlmom21 · 01/08/2021 18:19

@clickychicky

Can you afford to do their room too?

Can DH afford to do their room? Why should OP pay for new carpet when they can't look after the one they've got.

Presumably because they're a family?

Rumplestrumpet · 01/08/2021 18:24

As a child of divorced parents who never felt fully (or even vaguely) at home in dad/step mum's house, please make an effort to spruce up their room at the same time you're doing the whole house. Get them involved, make them feel special, and it will make a difference to your long term relationship.

Yes it's your money, no you don't HAVE to, but I honestly think it's a worthwhile investment. As others have said, new wall colour, curtains, rug and some lamps or pictures from IKEA really wouldn't take much out of your overall budget. But they will feel valued and feel at home. And I expect it could improve your relationship with them ahead of the tricky teenage years.

clickychicky · 01/08/2021 18:29

girlmom21 OP isn't even doing her own child's room up though. And they have two parents to fund them financially it's just grabby of dad to make OP pay for his children. He should be embarrassed.

QueenBee52 · 01/08/2021 18:35

@clickychicky

girlmom21 OP isn't even doing her own child's room up though. And they have two parents to fund them financially it's just grabby of dad to make OP pay for his children. He should be embarrassed.

I have to agree...

Please save your money OP.. Nest Egg 🎉

clickychicky · 01/08/2021 18:40

All this talk of getting a rug etc to jazz it up a bit, dad could have gone to IKEA and got a few cheap bits if it bothered him so much. He just wants OP to spend her money and do the work for him.

girlmom21 · 01/08/2021 18:43

@clickychicky but the babies room has been decorated and the baby hasn't used it since it's been decorated.

I just find it a bit mean to decorate every room except theirs but acknowledge your point about it not being necessary if they won't take care of it anyway.

clickychicky · 01/08/2021 18:58

The OP has said the DSC's room was painted when they moved in.

The DSCs room was painted etc.. when we moved into the house.

So it's exactly the same treatment that the baby got- one redecoration of the room.

Crunchymum · 01/08/2021 19:17

@RoomyTunes

So nursery was just done but you aren't doing any of the other bedrooms? Including your own?

Totally fair IMO.

However if the only room/s not being done are DSC then YABU.

HalzTangz · 01/08/2021 19:25

@RoomyTunes

Recently came into a little bit of money from a relative of mine. I said I'd like to do some stuff to the house with it, namely redecorating and carpeting.

The only room we aren't doing anything to are the DCs, both ours and my DSCs. Our joint DC is still a baby so still in with us so their room was only recently decorated as a nursery for when they eventually go in there.

My DSCs room hasn't been decorated in a while but it's also not bad, the walls are painted and look fine but the carpet is quite old and the furniture (apart from beds which are newish) so drawers, bedside tables, TV stand and wardrobe are getting on a bit.

I've said to DH I'm not bothering doing anything to any of the DCs rooms so not just my DSCs. He thinks I'm being mean doing the rest of the house but not doing anything with DSCs room.

My reasoning is it's pointless getting brand new carpet and furniture etc in there are the minute as it just gets ruined. There are already marks and stains on the carpet from pens and spills etc... They smashed a gel thing in there when a friend slept over the other month and I'd rather just leave them carpet/furniture that it doesn't really matter if things get ruined/spilt on.

Our DCs room was only recently decorated because they were only recently born so I don't feel it's favouritism or anything and we won't be replacing the carpet in their room yet either for the same reason but the furniture and walls are new.

So AIBU to stick to my guns that the DCs rooms don't need doing and it would be a waste of money right now.

I would put laminate down in DSC room (easy to clean up spills etc), furniture, if it's cheap, wobbling then replace, if it's old but otherwise in good condition don't replace. Repaint the room, it doesn't take long and DSC could have an input by picking a colour for the feature wall

Heronwatcher · 01/08/2021 19:39

Nice rug, new bedding, a few new cushions, maybe re-arrange the furniture and give it a good clean and some lighted letters etc. All of this would cost maybe £50. I would do it so that they feel part of the household. It may seem a bit unfair but doing every room apart from theirs definitely gives the impression that they are not valued. Maybe dad could chip in? Maybe they would look after things a bit better once the room looks great?

clickychicky · 01/08/2021 20:54

Maybe dad could chip in? dad should cover the whole cost if it's only £50. Presumably he pays maintenance to their mum so he can pay for this, it's part of housing and feeding his own children. You don't outsource that to someone else.

HegeHog · 01/08/2021 22:37

@cansu

Just decorate the room and titivate it a bit. Let them choose a few new things. It doesn't have to be hugely expensive. I suppose the test would be what would you do if it was your own 8 and 10 year old?

But she isn't decorating her own DCs room so test passed??

The fact the babies room was recently decorated (half a year ago now) is irrelevant. It was decorated because they were only just in need of it, same way anyway decorates a room when they first move into it. The DSC already had their room decorated when they first got it, same as the baby.