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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grievance worthy?

38 replies

Pollypocket89 · 31/07/2021 22:53

Posting on behalf of a friend sat with me

She started a new job about 6 weeks ago, gets along well with the small team and manager. We're sitting having a drink together in the garden and a text flashes up from him on her phone.

Aibu that it's a bit odd he's even thinking of her at 11pm on a Saturday?

OP posts:
AnnunciataZ · 31/07/2021 22:54

No.

FrankButchersDickieBow · 31/07/2021 22:56

What was the text? Do they socialise out of work?

TiddyTidTwo · 31/07/2021 22:57

What did it say?

FunMcCool · 31/07/2021 22:59

Well…what did the message say?

Monsterjam · 31/07/2021 23:01

What? Why would that be grievance worthy?

FrankieDoyle · 31/07/2021 23:02

Until we know what the text actually said, it's impossible to determine?

AlexaShutUp · 31/07/2021 23:02

Not enough info OP.

freelions · 31/07/2021 23:03

Well it kind of depends on the content of the text!

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 31/07/2021 23:03

Sorry, I've had a drink too! :)

No, they don't socialise outside work, they've only known each other a few weeks

It was something along the lines of being a bit drunk. Nothing technically inappropriate but I don't think any good can come from him thinking of her drunk late at night?

OP posts:
Matilda15 · 31/07/2021 23:03

We need to know what it said or how can we answer?

There’s a difference between “I’m thinking of you at 11pm on a Saturday” and a meme or joke following on from a conversation earlier in the week.

IceLace100 · 31/07/2021 23:04

Bit weird. Hoping she is ignoring?

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 31/07/2021 23:04

The grievance comment was slightly tongue in cheek!

OP posts:
LemonFantaGin · 31/07/2021 23:06

What makes you think that it is grievance worthy?
Did he say something inappropriate?

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 31/07/2021 23:11

Nobody is putting a grievance on, don't worry, it was tongue in cheek!

I do think it's a bit weird though, I've never had a manager text me like that especially not a man I've known a few weeks

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 31/07/2021 23:15

It didn’t seem very tongue in cheek.

What exactly did he say?

Rogue1001 · 31/07/2021 23:19

Is there a dick pic?

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 31/07/2021 23:20

That he was a bit drunk, that's what it said

OP posts:
Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 31/07/2021 23:25

Thankfully no dick pic! Both taken. I didn't get a good feeling about it and she seemed quite surprised, hence the thread

OP posts:
Amandasummers · 31/07/2021 23:29

He is obviously interested in her and is trying to initiate a conversation

What’s weird about that

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 31/07/2021 23:41

Because he's her manager and it's unprofessional for starters?

OP posts:
TheSkatesOfCoachBombay · 31/07/2021 23:59

Are they both single? Maybe he just likes her. Manager or not unless there is a specific clause in her and his employment contract about relationships at work there isn't anything work related to be done.

Up to her how she deals with it, if she's not interested she can just ignore it, if she does like him then she can chat away.

As long as professional boundaries and behaviour are adhered to during working hours, can't say I'd care.

Wouldn't be the first manager/employee relationship I've seen, won't be the last. I just have to remind them they aren't married/together in work, so leave the heavy petting and any relationship discourse in the car park thanks. Colleagues don't care of he ate the last kit kat in the cupboard and you were saving it for your evening cup of tea, please don't slam files down on his desk. 😂

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 01/08/2021 07:56

Nope, said in my above post that both people are taken

My friend didn't reply!

OP posts:
ChessieFL · 01/08/2021 07:59

He might have sent it to the wrong person.

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 01/08/2021 08:09

Her name was in it so definitely meant for her... Sober now, I've just never been in a job where that'd happen lol

OP posts:
Figgygal · 01/08/2021 08:12

Blimey unclench op
Not your business I’m sure she’s a big girl and can determine her own boundaries and relationships at work

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