Partner seeing kids at ex’s place

[Starwardglance]

I’m in a new relationship, around 6 months. New DP is divorced and has contact with children at ex-wife’s house. She is usually there too. This is all new to me so my question is just really whether this is typical or not? It doesn’t really upset to me honest but part of me wonders if I’m being naive about this? Is it actually a sign they are still emotionally attached over and above what you what you would expect co-parents to be? Can those with experience shed some light please?

If he's not having them to stay with him regularly that is a red flag. He can say anything that makes him out to be a great dad, but actions speak louder than words.

@Bellend101 No, but I’m not here to justify his parenting to you, nor anyone else. If you have nothing better to do with your time than try to start an argument with me about this then you need to get a new hobby.

[quote Starwardglance]@Bellend101 No, but I’m not here to justify his parenting to you, nor anyone else. If you have nothing better to do with your time than try to start an argument with me about this then you need to get a new hobby.[/quote]
You asked for views from those of us with experience as you clearly have none yourself. Don't get your knickers in a twist because some of us aren't backing your sunshine and roses view of your boyfriend.

Why does he live so far away from his children?

In my friends case he refuses to ‘babysit’ them anywhere else so he can still have an element of control over her life. If you ask anyone they’ll tell u he is father of the year.

You asked for views from those of us with experience as you clearly have none yourself. Don't get your knickers in a twist because some of us aren't backing your sunshine and roses view of your boyfriend.

Perhaps I should have spelled it out in my original post that I was looking for experiences involving co-parents being overly emotionally attached to each other. I have a feeling though that it wouldn’t have mattered how I phrased it, you still would’ve taken it as an opportunity to offload all the bitterness you clearly still harbour towards your ex. TTYL @Bellend101 I’m off to get on with my life.

And there it is, proof you're not emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship with someone who has kids. I told you my own experience of dealing with the father of my child (a man who had controlled every aspect of my life for years: who I saw, when I could leave the house, when I was having sex with him) and your response is to call me bitter? Not bitter, sweetheart, just better.

Like you've said in other words. He sees them at ex house as it would cost to much to take them out every time he seen them. If they get on an it works then I wouldn't worry. It they wanted to be together they wouldn't of got divorced and cost themselves money in the first place....

Perhaps I should have spelled it out in my original post that I was looking for experiences involving co-parents being overly emotionally attached to each other.

If they were overly emotionally attached then they wouldn't be divorced.

By your statements e.g. he takes them to their grandmother's house shows he doesn't want to parent his children on his own.

If you move in with him don't be surprised if he suddenly decides to start bringing them back to his house as there is now a woman - you - who can provide childcare.

There is a step-parents board - which while it is full of vipers and trolls - has relationships that show common themes. Yours is one of them.

Oh I seee! No he wouldn't be divorced if there was anything like that going on. He'd be living there at the least. Also if the kids are there it's not the time for romantic liaisons.