To use this name

[gerbilfur]

Genuinely willing to be told if I'm being u.

Nc as outing.

I have a best friend, for the last 30 years. She has 2 ds and is pregnant with her 3rd ds. He will be her final dc. I have 1 ds.

There is a girls name she's always really liked, she said she'd use it if she ever had a dd. It also happened to be the favourite name of my late grandmother, who was pretty much my best friend.

I'm getting a puppy soon, and it's a girl. I want to use the name for the pup, however my friend I'd really hurt that I took her dd name. I said I thought it would be OK as she will not be having a dd.

Am I being insensitive? Should I change puppy name? I honestly only wanted to use it as name reminds me so much of my nan but my friend is more important and I don't want to hurt her.

@AmberIsACertainty

I can't imagine a conversation where someone who isn't pregnant goes on about their "favourite name" so much that the name forever after reminds me of them. It's bizarre.

I can - when a name you like comes up - e.g. on a television programme - you might well remark on how much you like it. Or if you hear someone else has named a baby with that name: 'Oh, that's one of my favourite names, if I'd have had a daughter I'd call her that.'

My sister and I are childfree/childless (my sister not by choice) and I know exactly what my sister would have called a girl or a boy if she'd been able to carry a pregnancy to term. I also know what names my mum would have used if we'd been boys.

My sister and I are childfree/childless (my sister not by choice) and I know exactly what my sister would have called a girl or a boy if she'd been able to carry a pregnancy to term. I also know what names my mum would have used if we'd been boys.

Good example. So your sister is not childless by choice. You know if she had a much wanted little boy, she'd call him "Jack". But that's not what life has dealt her. And now, she's at the point where she's discovered that "Jack" will never be. You're close, you know what it means to her.

So you pop out, buy a dog and call it Jack

@TwinsandTrifle

My sister and I are childfree/childless (my sister not by choice) and I know exactly what my sister would have called a girl or a boy if she'd been able to carry a pregnancy to term. I also know what names my mum would have used if we'd been boys.

Good example. So your sister is not childless by choice. You know if she had a much wanted little boy, she'd call him "Jack". But that's not what life has dealt her. And now, she's at the point where she's discovered that "Jack" will never be. You're close, you know what it means to her.

So you pop out, buy a dog and call it Jack

I think my sister would take it more that we were honouring her choice of names were we to do this, but it's slightly different when it's 'in the family' - i.e. a way of remembering/ keeping a name alive in the family - rather than a friend.

I have a kitten called Jessica after my sister! I don't see her often and live thousands of miles away though.

I think my sister would take it more that we were honouring her choice of names were we to do this, but it's slightly different when it's 'in the family' - i.e. a way of remembering/ keeping a name alive in the family - rather than a friend.

I very much agree with this. DD has a middle name that is her grandmother's. It was definitely in tribute to her. Plus, this is another child. Within our family. Calling your son, "Henry Jack Smith" would be a nice, and poignant, recognition, perhaps even Jack as a first name if your sister saw it as a positive tribute and not a painful reminder.

That's completely different from your sister's best friend buying a dog and calling it Jack, because her Nan had said she liked the name.

The more I think about OPs scenario, the more insulted I'd be. My best friend of 30 years, saying, "I know there's no chance of you having your son, Jack, now... guess what I'm calling my dog"

The more I think about OPs scenario, the more insulted I'd be

Yes we can tell. You keep posting about it.

Even with the child free poster who said that her sister would likely be honoured if she used the name for her dog, you somehow agreed with that too.

Just a reminder that this is a puppy we’re talking about. A puppy’s name. A puppy who could be called literally anything else in the world. I mean, puppies aren’t even limited to human names. The choice actually is endless.

The day a puppy’s name becomes more important than a good friend’s feelings is the day you become a bit of an arsehole. Even if you think the friend is being a bit silly. If you prioritise a puppy’s name over the good friend’s feelings, there is no avoiding the ‘arsehole’ label.

The reason for this is quite simple: most people like their friends, and so, act accordingly.

Even with the child free poster who said that her sister would likely be honoured if she used the name for her dog

I'm not sure where you've got your wires crossed but I said categorically it would be different if a sister had a child and used the name as a middle name as a respectful tribute within their family in honour of a child that was very wanted, but wasn't to be. But absolutely not for a friend to deliberately name a puppy!

Ahhhh. You're the poster that thinks fine because it's the same as someone who rode your horse then calling their child the same thing.

It's about respecting the feelings of a mother coming to terms with a child they will never have. A completely different scenario.