Husband's Family

[foibles2011]

Tricky one I know but here goes. My husbands mum is a big drinker and when she does she becomes very loud, uses offensive language, is confrontational and there are always fights (verbal). Every time we go to stay she, my father in law and husband start drinking from around 3 in the afternoon and the trouble starts, even after my children have gone to bed they are kept awake by nana f'ing and blinding until eventually they (adults) all pass out on the sofas. I find it all really stressful as I hate confrontation and I hate even more that my kids can hear it.
This weekend my husband has arranged for us to visit them and I asked that he didn't drink because I found it too stressful given what normally happens and so that he can help me with the kids and he told me I was f@%$ing rude and to not come.
So AIBU?

They all sound dreadful, and your husband is a wanker.
I wouldn’t let my kids go anywhere near them.

Wow. Yanbu

They are not fit to be around your children so I would keep them away. And your 'D' H sounds pretty much as bad.

Your husband sounds repellant. They all drink until they pass out? Disgusting. Happy fucking families.

What is he like normally?

OP,

What a shower.

Your husband sounds so rough.

Stay at home and perhaps look at your options.

What an awful environment for your children.

@briarshollow my husband rarely drinks normally - it's a situational thing for him. His mum didn't used to be this bad but over time it's just increased, my father in law is just the object of the frustration if that makes sense - he is quiet he just gets shouted at.

Leave him. He sounds awful and his family too

Stay home with the kids. He can do what he likes.

Yep, stay at home with the kids, he's told you not to come so just do that. Sounds horrendous

How terrible. I would steer clear of them and protect your kids.

Passing out on the sofa is appalling behaviour, especially when children are around to see it.

What are you teaching them for the future?

YANBU, stay at home

I think in view of what your husband said, I'd be staying home with the children.

Stay at home with the kids, he can crack on with his nightmare family.

If you go, you could now become the punch bag for the disgusting drunk behaviour, please stay away with your DC.

Stay home there is no way I'd be taking my children into that environment!

Let him go himself.

I would stay at home, OP and never go there again. I was in a similar situation with a toxic mother in law and removed myself from it.

... easier said than done, I know. Wishing you all the best.

Stay at home and do something nice with the children. He can’t take them as that would be handing them to someone who is drunk in no time. They need protecting.

Stay at home with the kids and let him tear on.

That’s literally all you said and you’re the rude one?!

That's very dysfunctional and YWNBU to refuse to expose your kids to it.

How can you possibly allow your children to be around these lowlife? Of course you stay home with them. I hate to break it to you, but I think big, big trouble is on the horizon with your husband and his drinking. You need to keep your eyes wide open.

He and his family sound awful.

This is one of those things it's your job as a parent to not allow your kids to be exposed to. If your husband supports that, great. If he doesn't, he's part of the problem.

Cycles of this sort of behaviour continue due to repeated exposure of children to it. Your kids could be the ones that break the cycle. But not if they see this and normalise it, or hear their father defending it.

That is not normal behaviour. Send him on his own and your stay at home with your DC.