to ask what is so special about blond hair

[pocpocpoc]

My husband is white and English, I am not white and foreign. I have dark hair and my genetics pretty much guarantee that my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren are almost 100% likely to have dark hair too.

DH's brother is married to a white English woman and their daughter is the same age as DD. She is taller than DD and has blond hair. Both are nice young ladies, reasonably attractive, but in different ways.

Something that bothered me for a long time, but I could only put a finger on recently, is how MIL (and others in the family) talk about DD's cousin's blond hair and height, almost as a counter-point to anything DD does that is of mention. For instance: "Well done for getting 12 A* GCSEs (saving a child from fire, winning Olympics, getting a Nobel prize), so proud of you being so academic/brave/athletic/hard-working and also of your cousin, who is a tall blond". I find it strange that DD is typically praised for something she has done and worked hard for, while her cousin is praised only for her looks.

Where it is getting ridiculous is that I noticed DH's sister doing the same thing, this time with our boys. Not long ago she said to me "aren't you lucky that your son has such a good friend to play with, with his beautiful head of blond hair" - the sentence really didn't make sense to me. Thinking back I realised that the blond hair has been brought up every time we met in the last couple of years.

In my culture we don't attribute any special value to blond hair. It is very rare, usually means that the blond person is of another ethnicity. Some people get their hair bleached, but it does not confer any superiority or praise. So help me to understand: what is so special about blond hair? AIBU to be bothered? AIBU to detect a hint of racism?

[Flyingantday]

DH has nearly black hair and hazel eyes, I’m mousy with grey eyes. our eldest two are brunette with brown eyes and youngest blonde and blue… she gets so much more attention and indulgent smiles/chat from old ladies than the other two did. I put it down to people being starved of social/grandchildren contact in lockdown… but maybe it is her hair.

[JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil]

No she was carrying on as if people preferred her kids to their own. I’m almost certain that blond kids are more in danger in the U.K. than abroad on holiday. Blond would probably signal that you are defo a tourist and therefore a potential mark. They do not prize you over their own.

A dirty old man in Madrid offered money for me to have sex with him when I was in my 20s. I have curly brown hair.

[Tiddleandplonk]

Maybe the rarity value. Also blonde hair normally goes in adult hood so again its asso iated with youth and rarity. .
I was white blonde as a child as was my son and people used to praise his hair as it was striking .

[Pixxie7]

Personally I like dark hair and brown eyes which I think are beautiful. I am saying this with 2 grandchildren with almost white blond hair. I just think it’s down to personal taste.

[Aloethere]

My ds was blonde with big blue eyes as a baby/toddler and got loads of attention whenever we were out. Dd had brown hair and I can't remember a single time she got awwed at!

Tbh I always assume that most blondes I meet are of the bottle variety not naturally blonde. Is it only blonde women that are considered more attractrive? With men it is always 'tall dark and handsome', I know personally I don't find blonde men attractive in general.

[FartleBarfle]

My daughter is mixed black Caribbean and has white skin, blue eyes and white blonde hair. While my son has dark skin, dark brown eyes and brown hair. We get lots of comments about both of their appearances, but I assumed it was because people don't expect them to look so different. They are still young so it hasn't really bothered me, but I'll bear it in mind. I guess I only felt compelled to post as you said it was highly unlikely your children or grandchildren would not have your genetic make up, and I think my husband expected the same! It's strange how genetics work isn't it?!

[Timetoreflect]

My son has mixed heritage and as a baby was white blond. We holidayed in Tunisia a couple of times and he was treated like a little celebrity. A bride even left her wedding photos to cross the toad to kiss him on the cheek. He constantly got kissed on the cheek

[Comedycook]

I think there's a hint of racism to it... subconsciously. It's the whole western beauty standard thing isn't it? Skinny and blonde being seen as the ideal. As a white child with dark hair and eyes, I remember feeling really inferior to the blonde kids and being so thrilled when I finally got a Sindy doll who had brown hair. It was great having a doll which wasn't blonde. If that's how I felt, I can only imagine how much harder it must have been for the black and Asian kids I was at school with. I think things have changed a little from then though thankfully.

[Amandasummers]

I get what you mean. I don’t really understand why it’s so special. I would have never said it was rarer than being brunette either but I guess that depends on where you’re from. My ds is blonde and people comment but that’s because myself and his dad are both dark haired as are our families, so really don’t understand where it’s come from and I wanted my own little dark haired boy 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

[InvincibleInvisibility]

I have two boys with bright blue eyes.

One had very dark hair at birth which lightened to a light brown. One had blond with reddish tinge hair which then turned very blond.

Ive found it fascinating how different people react/interact with them (i.e. strangers, neighbours we re not close to). Some react a lot more positively to my brown haired child - he has a very expressive face and eyes. Others seem to favour my blond son. Ive even found this with the doctor!

[Bluntness100]

I’ve genuinely never witnessed this in my life.

[Paddling654]

I never saw the reason for the fuss.

Then I had a blonde child and it is like a little bubble of sunshine going around on a grey day.

[FindYourPorpoise]

My DS has blonde curly hair and blue eyes. DH and I are both brunette. People are always commenting on his looks and staff at his nursery have admitted to not expecting him to say 'please' or 'thank you' because 'he's just so beautiful, he can get away with anyway'. I don't understand it at all.

I also get the odd look or comment from people who seem to think he's too good looking to be ours.

[SirenSays]

Blonde children in my family are rare, the few that were blonde were often lovingly referred to as milkybar kids 🤐🤣

[Comedycook]

@Bluntness100

I’ve genuinely never witnessed this in my life.

What you've never noticed Western beauty standards?

[Katefoster]

If blonde hair is so popular because it's so rare, why dosent the same apply to red heads which IMO are much more striking and unusual

[AngryWhompingWillow]

@Katefoster

If blonde hair is so popular because it's so rare, why dosent the same apply to red heads which IMO are much more striking and unusual

They almost always have really lush, thick, curly hair too. Beautiful.

[Chicchicchicchiclana]

I don't get it, at all. It's like some retro throwback to Marilyn Monroe.

Most women seem to prefer dark haired men.

It's all very odd.

[NotExactlyHappyToHelp]

I’m a natural blonde and I’ve never been treated any differently. People either assume you’re thick or it’s dyed .

DS is almost platinum blonde even as he’s getting older. If people commented on his hair when he was little I used to say ‘Thank you, it’s a bitch holding him over the sink to bleach it but it’s worth it don’t you think?!’ and then shuffle off snickering.

[Willyoujustbequiet]

It's not a blonde thing I don't think it's a rare thing

People often find the more uncommon the more attractive.

Dd has long red tumbling curls (Merida from brave) and we get admiring comments every single time shes out in public. Her friends are all blonde/fair and get overlooked.

[SadSongsAndWaltzes]

Contrary to the vast majority of posters on this thread, I think it is completely rooted in racism and Western self-percieved superiority. I also think that it is assumed that blondes are more youthful, not as intelligent, more promiscuous and "more fun" i.e. The western male ideal of a woman. I got a lot of unwanted, creepy attention as a blond, long-haired teenager (even once on holiday in a county where it was very unusual to be blonde, being pulled into a shop by my hair). This has massively reduced as I've got older and my hair has turned brown (thank God).

[Chicchicchicchiclana]

Oh, sorry, I was replying about adults and their attraction to other adults.

Very few blonde children end up blonde anyway, almost everyone's hair gets darker as they age. I would put it out of your mind.

[MorrisZapp]

Blonde hair on kids is just so beautiful, and often fleeting as it tends to darken with age. Mine certainly did.

I've tried to wean myself off blonde highlights many times, but I always go back.

[HooverIsAlwaysBroken]

But isn’t is a bit of rarity factor in it? That we want what we do not have?

My DCs (and I) are blond and blue eyed. DS’ friend is mixed race and has the most amazing, brown curls and chocolate brown eyes. I am being very careful not to comment on children’s looks, we only talk about personally but I think that little boy is stunning.

[MildredPuppy]

I think the western idea of beauty thing sounds likely too.