Son just been called poor

[kateshair]

Hi all
This has just really upset me…
My son was playing out in the back garden with neighbour children - he and this lad usually get on alright.
He’s just come in saying he doesn’t want to play with said kid. I ask why he said he’s called me poor !.
Now we live in the same street as them my house is actually 3 bedroomed there has two.
I’m a single parent work my arse off :-(. I’m a nurse. They are from a two parent household.
My garden needs totally doing by my own admission it’s a mess. But gah that has struck a nerve. Sons not bothered 😕 but it’s peeved me off ! Am guessing maybe he’s overheard his parent talking or he comparing his garden to mine. Gah I need to grow another skin.

Your son has shrugged it off so should you. Kids say silly things and they cam be hurtful but who gives a shit what this kid or his parents think.

Maybe you feel over sensitive because by your own admission your garden is a mess.
Not worth getting het up about
Btw I've gone from rich to poor after a break up and redundancy- there's no shame in it !

Boys vie for status in any way they can this was nothing to do with you or your house. Glad you feel better about it,

When I went to Grammar School my friend and I probably lived in some of the smallest houses that had downstairs bathrooms . We were both well turned out though despite the fact we had hand knitted jumpers and desperately wanted shop ones. We had another friend who had an abusive stepfather , lived on a rough estate and often smelt as her mum didn’t wash her clothes. We felt really sorry for her.
Years later we met this friend at a school reunion when she joked about how we were the poor smelly girls . My friend and I were quite shocked as we didn’t know we were viewed this way .

Knacker in Scotland/Wales/England is a person who deals with fallen stock and carcasses. A common term in the countryside "knackerman, knacker's yard". The Knacker's yard I deal with prefer "undertakers of the countryside" but consider Knacker a job description.

Knacker in Ireland is a derogatory term for a traveller.

Perhaps there was a mix up in what the term means in different countries rather than deliberate offence.

Back on track, perhaps the kid heard about nurses needing better pay. Or his parents discussed the rubbish pay rises that nurses get and managed to express it is a brick in the face way. It's being discussed a lot at the moment.

If your son has a loving parent, a roof over his head, education and consistent food, then he's richer than swathes of children in this country. Kids are cruel and thoughtless, don't take it to heart

Kids chat shit a lot of the time. I remember when my DD first started at her new school, she was in year 2 and went through a spell of wanting to wear a different coat/jacket every day. I couldn’t understand why so kept asking her and eventually she told me a girl in her class said she was poor because she only had one coat so she wanted to prove that she had lots . Her ‘one coat’ was Boden fwiw… Turned out the girl in question was one of the poorest in the school. Some kids use their own insecurities to fuel the bullying.

I definitely would have never known that 'knacker' meant traveller!!!

@Youdiditanyway

Kids chat shit a lot of the time. I remember when my DD first started at her new school, she was in year 2 and went through a spell of wanting to wear a different coat/jacket every day. I couldn’t understand why so kept asking her and eventually she told me a girl in her class said she was poor because she only had one coat so she wanted to prove that she had lots . Her ‘one coat’ was Boden fwiw… Turned out the girl in question was one of the poorest in the school. Some kids use their own insecurities to fuel the bullying.

This makes me incredibly sad for that little girl

Forget about it.

My sons mates called him poor, we are in a 5 bedroom house and they have a small flat.

Kids have no idea about wealth. They just say things to hurt.

@OchonAgusOchonOh

I got your point. I just didn't like the racist tone of the characteristics you seemed to associate with travellers.

I made NO comments about travellers. This was something that my daughter experienced and she dealt with it by shrugging. Hardly raised by an anti traveller mother. But you come at me repeatedly trying to insinuate that Im racist against travellers. Im not. Im judging YOU though. You are sanctimonious, unpleasant and argumentitive and at best obtuse. Maybe your arentvable to understand the simple point. But have fun being a keyboard wagon.

[quote OchonAgusOchonOh]**@PearlFriday* - My daughter was called this name. Not a word id use. My dd wouldnt use it either*

Yes. And you went on to list a series of characteristics that you presumably associate with "knackers", which you obviously know is a derogatory term for travellers. You may not use the term to describe travellers but you are certainly disparaging in your description of them.[/quote]
"Presumably"

Read my original post b3fore you casually throw such appalling accusations around.

My point was clearly made. I give the judgers nothing. No easy material.

All they"ve got is that im a single parent. And that is enough.

Now leave me ALONE or i will report you.
You attributed racism to my post because you didnt fucking read it.

Hiding this thread to protect myself

This happened to us recently when another kid said this to my son at school. We live in a flat with a communal garden and as we are still saving for a deposit for our own place this really got to me.
That said, it was a kid who said it and I know kids come out with things like this at times so if they are young, try to let it slide. However, if they are older then they sgoyld know better.

When my son was little I mentioned about a class mate going on holiday on a plane. He said ahh haven't they got a car

My daughter during online learning told her class that her aunty couldn't afford to get her an Easter egg - but in reality it was during COVID March 2020 and she was sent a far nicer Lego set via Amazon as she couldn't post an Easter egg. Aunty is a partner in a law firm so very far from being poor.

Some kids have no concept of money. I would just ignore and move on.

I would take no notice. Kids say all sorts of daft stuff without thinking.

My DS (when he was 5) told his teacher that she was poor. When she asked him why - he said that it was because she didn’t drive a convertible car.

I had just the week before part-exchanged my people carrier for a little convertible sports car (not a brand new one) and for some reason he equated that to being rich. I was and still am a single parent and was on an average salary at the time.

I had this when DD1 was 10 and had a friend round before Brownies. I said everything is not what it seems and she said 'liar, liar you're pants are on fire'. Clearly came from her parents. She never came round again.

My DS’s friend kept saying we were poor. I’ve no idea why, we’re pretty well off. I think it’s just something they say and then they realise some people are wound up by it so carry on saying it. They are 11.

kids do say stuff like this randomly. my son's 10yr old friend recently, after a sleepover, made a (semi) big deal of the fact that we had only supermarket own brand cereal at the breakfast table. but kids really have little to no idea (unless the parents fill them in) about these things, honestly out of the parents of my son's class of 30 or so kids, we're maybe not the very highest earners but, I suspect, are would comfortably be in say the top five.

I wouldn't take it to heart. It might have just been because your child said he doesn't have a PS4 or an iPhone or something. Although it was rude of the child.

I went to a deprived school the one insult no one ever used was poor as we all where

It rained on a friends wedding day and I said ‘poor friend’ , and my son asked if she didn’t have any money ! It could be a silly misunderstanding

Kids talk crap. Honestly I remember playing out and that’s tame. My son has been playing out 6 months and I’m 😖 so much worse than when I was a kid! The arguments and bickering, my god. Don’t take it personally

I'm with @Honeypickle...

Single mum, nurse, pandemic, life stresses = you poor thing