To not vacuum neighbour's car

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

I really don't think IABU but juuuuust in case...

Off work today, doing a few jobs. Decided to vacuum and clean inside of my car (which turned out to be a bigger job than I thought as I've not done it since I got the car in September 😬)

Upstairs neighbour went out as I was starting and came back as I was topping up screen wash. Said "you're doing a great job, are you ok to do mine next". I laughed, standard (not that funny but common) joke right?

Wrong. She was serious. I said I don't have time to do another car now. She asked if I can do it tomorrow as she doesn't have a hand held vacuum. I said she is welcome to borrow mind (a stick shark) but I'm back at work tomorrow. She kind of huffed and said she thought I "might like to be neighbourly" and went in.

I mean... wtf!? I've never cleaned a neighbours car. I might do DPs if he was here but only cos he'd do mine if he was doing his.

BUT

1. I've moved to a smaller town from London and obviously the vibe is a bit different, people are more friendly etc.

1. Neighbour already is suspicious of me, she had a bee in her bonnet about me not going round to introduce myself when I moved in and once we had spoken I heard her telling her husband she didn't believe me about my job and wanted to call my employer to confirm I worked for them! (She has also speculated that my baby nephew was my baby who didn't live with me and thought he'd been taken away from me, but that's another thread)

So... should I have given her car a once-over to keep the peace or should I just avoid her and her batshittery?

[Bangolads]

She is bona fida bonkers. Be Curt and cold with her.

[TwinMama6]

@StopGo

Many years ago I moved into a tiny maisonette by myself. Some weeks later my parents came up for a long weekend whilst I was at work and let themselves in. Neighbour knocked on the door asking who they were etc. Mum explained. Then got a whole lecture on how I kept very irregular hours and several times I'd been brought home in the early hours by a police car. Did mum know her daughter was a prostitute. Guess what I was and guess what my mum said?

You was in the police force?

[MaMaD1990]

I love when an OP has a good sense of humour when it comes to batshit neighbours. Great thread - particularly interested as to whether Cleo and Maxwell live happily ever after!

[Bunnyfuller]

Fuck no

[Lifetheuniverseandeverything]

You kind of answered your own question with the other things she’s said. You need to be firm and ignore her or she’s going to drive you nuts.

[riceuten]

Reading the very first part of this, I originally thought it was a shame you didn't offer, but given the context and her further behaviour, I think you should avoid her like the plague, and were perfectly justified in not offering,

[Tusue]

Wow No way ,yep everybody jokes about doing theirs when you’ve finished yours but NOBODY means it .
She sounds a total weirdo , stay well away from her 😼

[Yorkshiretolondon]

Hahahahaha! No way! Lend her the vacuum by all means but doing the job for her….. erm ….. NO!
Jezz CF

[RachaelN]

Woah! She sounds crazy!

[Ddot]

Sounds like my friend, their I am making stuff for her party, walk into other room and shes stuffing her face sat on the sofa. I'd not eaten all day. Cf

[bemusedmoose]

Nutcase, fruit loop, batshit... All of them! Keep great distance from that one!

[Burgess67A]

Hovering your own car is a drag, let alone doing someone’s else’s! What planet is she on ?

[Hellvelyn]

I also read car as cat and clicked to find out more. In my head I imagined a hugely fluffy, moulting cat. Your neighbour knows you have a hand held vacuum and wants you to give her cat a bit of a de-fluff! I was most disappointed there was no cat!

[User112]

Ask her if she can clean your toilets when she does hers? Perhaps she can show you how to be neighbourly!

[EL8888]

@TheUnexpectedPickle loving the description of Londoner cat! One of mine is quite hissy but he’s only ever lived in Essex l think -he’s a rescue

Your neighbour is lazy CF

[Libraryghost]

I had to read the post twice! Unbelievable nerve! Although funny at the same time. She could be one of those narcissistic sociopaths types? Best avoid, have you seen killer on your doorstep?

[Lostinthemail]

Oh wow, and I thought mine were rude and cheeky when they came asking for the WiFi code and wouldn’t take no for an answer, but yours is a whole other level

[CuriousAuntyMaud]

when she corned me to interrogate me introduce herself, she asked what I do. I later heard her relaying the conversation to her husband

Welcome to life outside London OP!! I moved to a small town in the Berkshire/Surrey border. The neighbours were very suspicious of me. Couldn't believe DH worked 'away' during the week and started making up all sorts of lies about us and our marriage. I too made the mistake of not introducing myself to everyone in the town. Who knew we were suppose to do this?? In all the country village films the nice neighbours go round to the new people to introduce themselves and bring homemade jam and scones and roses from their gardens right?? Because I only smiled and waved at people (rather than going to each of their homes, knocking, bringing them a gift and allowing them to interrogate me) I have now been blackballed and forever destined to be the black sheep of the town. One elderly woman across the road just glares evil dagger eyes at me every time she sees me outside, apparently I don't bring my bins in fast enough on collection days, I haven't planted the right flowers in my front garden (people actually come to look at these things!!) and I or my friends apparently do not have a 'right' to park in the road (like other neighbours do but then they've been here longer). I am suppose to allow everyone to use my drive as and when they wish (they don't have to ask or say anything to me at all apparently, it's just expected that my drive is public property for anyone to use), if I object to this batshittery then old woman across the road and her WI group make life hell. It's mildly amusing but also a nightmare to live with. I keep dreaming of moving back to London where I didn't know my neighbours and no one cared who I was or what I was doing or if I had 'the right flowers' in my garden or any flowers at all for that matter.

Hopefully your ll knows this neighbour is batshite and will ignore her OP but I think you're going to have to get used to the new normal. Good luck!!

[Barmychick]

avoid nosy Nora she's a batshit old gossip/shitstirrer!

[LoisLane66]

Another voting for AVOID. What a trouble-maker.
Checking on your employment and saying dreadful things about your nephew really being your child and removed from your care.
I'd have it out with her right away and put a card under the windscreen of her car with the name and number of a mobile valeting company.
No more. Tell her nothing. Say you have no time to chat...v busy.

[LoisLane66]

Why doesn't she get her hubby to clean her car. Don't be a fool. Do it once and she'll ask again.

[LoisLane66]

I wouldn't even lend her the vacuum. She prib wouldn't even empty it. I have no problem saying no or not explaing the whys and wherefores of my life.
Can't understand and feel sorry for women who feel they have to do stuff to keep the peace.

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

@Hellvelyn there is a cat in the story! There are 2 cats! They’re just nit being vacuumed.

It’s bin day tomorrow, I’ve put my bins out very carefully so as not to enrage the beast.

I’ve also joined a gym today- but not her gym as it sounds like a cult, so there will now be many weeks of me scurrying out to my car in gym kit so she doesn’t ask why I didn’t join her gym...

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

@CuriousAuntyMaud don’t even get me started on flowers, I left a tv stand outside my bay window (on my private drive, not impacting her in any way) with the intention to turn it into a planter. When she cornered me she asked if I wanted her to take it to the dump. I said no, it’s gonna be a planter. Except, now it isn’t. It’s gonna stay there and annoy her. I want to get a light up flamingo too by DP says that’s petty.

Thing is, AM petty!!

[Ddot]

Get a gnome, no a gnome garden with thirty of the buggers. Fairy lights little gnome homes now thats petty