To not vacuum neighbour's car

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

I really don't think IABU but juuuuust in case...

Off work today, doing a few jobs. Decided to vacuum and clean inside of my car (which turned out to be a bigger job than I thought as I've not done it since I got the car in September 😬)

Upstairs neighbour went out as I was starting and came back as I was topping up screen wash. Said "you're doing a great job, are you ok to do mine next". I laughed, standard (not that funny but common) joke right?

Wrong. She was serious. I said I don't have time to do another car now. She asked if I can do it tomorrow as she doesn't have a hand held vacuum. I said she is welcome to borrow mind (a stick shark) but I'm back at work tomorrow. She kind of huffed and said she thought I "might like to be neighbourly" and went in.

I mean... wtf!? I've never cleaned a neighbours car. I might do DPs if he was here but only cos he'd do mine if he was doing his.

BUT

1. I've moved to a smaller town from London and obviously the vibe is a bit different, people are more friendly etc.

1. Neighbour already is suspicious of me, she had a bee in her bonnet about me not going round to introduce myself when I moved in and once we had spoken I heard her telling her husband she didn't believe me about my job and wanted to call my employer to confirm I worked for them! (She has also speculated that my baby nephew was my baby who didn't live with me and thought he'd been taken away from me, but that's another thread)

So... should I have given her car a once-over to keep the peace or should I just avoid her and her batshittery?

Run for the hills, she sounds batshit!

Oooooohhhh such a CF, I would avoid her like the plague, she sounds like aggro personified. I would be tempted to give her something to talk about like rolling up a blow doll in a rug and bury it in my garden in the dead of night ☠☠ 🤣🤣 you can guarantee she's the sort of curtain twitcher who would be watching you 👀. You'll find she may never accuse you of being 'not neighborly again!!

What on earth. The hoovering is the least of your issues with this one. Avoid her!

She’s a bloody fruit loop

God almighty @Properjob, that's horrific! Glad he finally got his comeuppance!
@TheUnexpectedPickle this is so ridiculous, it's hilarious (but probably not, if you've to live through it).

Avoid her.

If you do talk, laugh at every thing she says.
Do not respond to any requests or mad theories she has.
Ultimately tell her to f*"k off, if she doesn't get the message.

Your street sounds like it's straight from a Channel 5 Christmas movie!

I knew someone (not well) who when a new neighbour moved in to HIS area, he would turn up with a form to sign, indicating that the Said new neighbour would abide by the rules of the close eg keep quiet, tidy etc.etc. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@Ddot

I knew someone (not well) who when a new neighbour moved in to HIS area, he would turn up with a form to sign, indicating that the Said new neighbour would abide by the rules of the close eg keep quiet, tidy etc.etc. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Please tell me what your friend said?!?! I'd have looked at him like he had two heads and closed the door

I honestly don't think it was anything you did or didnt do. If it bothered her that much she should have knocked with goodies to welcome you to the street. Looking for bother, so go boil your CF head

PerciphonePuma
Apparently he did get a few choice words the last time he tried it.
Not my friend, he had an allotment near mine. Was a very strange dude and his wife was nicknamed the poison dwarf, not by me (no offence to short people)

OP, sometimes easier said than done, but I wonder if a very direct response would work eg why do you think I might clean your car? To be neighbourly. Oh sure, that might work, so what might you be able to do to help me out? Yes if you take my bins out every week, I could clean your car every 6 weeks

RE bingate, I missed my first bin.day as.i hadn't looked it up. She apparently text my landlady saying I hadn't put the recycling out and she had taken it to the dump herself!! I assume she meant the flattened boxes I'd left on my driveway which disappeared. I assumed someone had taken them to use. I'd left them there ready to take to recycle once I'd unpacked. She didn't knock on my door to tell me about the recycling, the boxes weren't in her way- absolutely mad behaviour to randomly take someone's recycling to the dump!

[StopGo] I would LOVE to know what your DM said. Something about the serious consequences for libel maybe.

What The Actual Fuck. OP please keep this thread going for more tales of her batshittery!

What a fucking nutcase

OMG I thought my neighbour was weird. She asked to borrow my steam cleaner. I gave to her and she wanted lessons on how to use it. OK, not hard but hey. I went round and showed her where the water went, the on off button etc. and did a small piece of floor as a demo "Aren't you going to finish the room? " she asked. Now she asks if I will come and steam clean her rooms!!
Don't go there OP, it never ends

@toughdaay

Wow that's almost the most CF thing I've ever seen on here.

I think it's only 2nd to the "friends" that asked the OP to bring their BBQ over and then leave it there for a 2nd BBQ for their other friends that same evening

She's crazy, ignore and avoid her now at all costs!... oh and then come and clean my car...and my house...and me 🤣🤣🤣

Can I put my name down for a full valet please

Simple solution: say you would gladly clean her car, but you would need to borrow her (flying) broomstick!

I've never heard of such cheekiness - and nastiness too, from the other things you have heard about.

Keep it polite but avoid her as much as possible.

She’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic. I’m assuming your name isn’t Benson, so fuck it. She’s weird.

Don't engage with this type of fanny. Life's too short.

I agree with everyone else...don't do her car, don't strike up a friendship and beyond a civil nod in passing I'd avoid someone like this like the plague (talking of which, Covid gives you an ideal excuse to avoid...just say limiting contact with other people etc)....sounds like an entitled, possibly genuinely crazy CF, gossip, shit-stirring pain in the butt.

Also, your home set up, family, employment and anything else are FA to do with her. Now you know a bit more about her bonkers attitude and tendency to gossip/imagine scenarios, don't lend her anything (Covid excuse fine, be blunt if she won't take a hint), do any favours etc - avoid...nobody needs a neighbour like this involved in their life or business - steer clear and make other, more sensible, less nosy, non-CF friends. Bloody nerve of some people astounds me!