People pretend to be kind but really it’s just a load of bull?!

[Angryattrackandtrace]

So many people I know spout off about being kind, thinking of others and being a good human being. Bit actually, it’s bull. They don’t mean it!

They say be kind. They pop it on their profile page. They nod and agree with others. They don’t mean it mind.

They say mean things about those around them (yes, I’m an adult and I use the term mean) and are spiteful. Bit pretend not to be.

So, aibu thinking that most adults don’t really mean it when they promote being kind?!

YANBU

BeKind is used by men and women to try and silence other women. People who use it are quoting a domestic abuser and trying to look virtuous on social media. It’s meaningless other than as a sign the person using it is a thoughtless idiot.

Social media is not real life

I mean, no one is going to advertise they like to Be Mean, are they? It's just a meaningless hashtag, there is not legal requirement that it must be accurate

Of course they don’t mean it. It’s virtue signalling. And the ones that use it the most often online tend to take it to mean “do not criticise anything that I do”.

In my experience, people who go on about being kind are anything but. Instead they use the mantra to try to stop people calling them out on their bad, often bullying, behaviour.

I agree with you OP. It’s usually the ones who shout the loudest about being kind that are the meanest.

Off topic but Same with relationships... the ones plastered all lovey dovey all over SM are usually the ones with the most cracks.

Think I might be cynical 🙄

Yeah it's just noise and it's everywhere.

What pisses me off more though is companies pretending to be kind, or talking at you as though they're your friend. Ffs we know that you're after our money, and that's fine, it's how business and commerce works, but don't come at me all cutesy and nicey telling me how much you care when in fact you are merely a manifestation of global capital stamping on the human face forever.

Thing is, when I hear about the things people say is genuinely hurts me.

What is wrong with people?! Ffs. We all have horrible thoughts about people. But we can choose (as adults) if we are gonna make someone feel shit with it!

I often talk about being kind with my children and it feels like it only applies to kids as adults are gonna be dicks anyway.

@SeeYaBeYa YES!!! Totally this. What turds!!!

Yanbu
Be kind means lie to me tell me what I want to hear
Worse still, schools are pushing it
I prefer “be fair”

@Siameasy I like be fair…

I think it's a useful thing for people to bear in mind. I am quite guilty of being quite critical of people at work and yet I know they probably have issues they are dealing with. Just thinking to myself quietly 'be kind, Table' helps me me more patient and calm and yes kind.

But there's no point just going around saying it publically, it should be something you quietly commit to.

The louder someone bangs on about how kind they are, invariably a nastier person can seldom be found.

Normal kind people do kindness without a parade.

One of the most horrible girls I knew at school, and she really was absolutely awful, preaches constantly online about how woke she is, I’m sure to progress her career. Yes people grow up, but this girl was something else, really unnecessarily cruel. I don’t believe she’s changed that dramatically at all.

@AnneLovesGilbert

BeKind is used by men and women to try and silence other women. People who use it are quoting a domestic abuser and trying to look virtuous on social media. It’s meaningless other than as a sign the person using it is a thoughtless idiot.

See also "sisterhood" as a good weapon for aome women to put women in the "right" place😐

I like to think I’m kind. I am certainly no saint but it’s like people that go on about being kind to out of their way to be the opposite.

Maybe it’s their guilt?!

I know I certainly need to toughen up.

I like be fair- be kind is a way to stop people standing up for themselves and say no.

I'm a bit fucking fed up of this supposed new openness about mental distress tbh. A woman I work with is a complete point scoring bastard but now when she does it she'll say something like "oh you'll have to excuse me, my brain's not wired like other people's" or "my anxiety is bad today" or some other crap. It's tedious.

And yeah she's all about giving lip service around bekind but actually all that goes through her tiny pointy head is how to get one over on anyone she can, while attempting to make herself look good.

Maybe If folk weren’t total bastards they wouldn’t need to make themselves look good!

Tut.

I'm probably not particularly 'kind', in the modern sense of the word.

What I am (I hope) is fair and reasonably honest, while trying not to intentionally hurt people's feelings for the fun of it.

I prefer 'try not to be a dick'.

I don't know anyone who preaches "be kind" on their social media or anything like that. I'd mute them if they did. If you're a genuinely kind person, people will be able to tell.

Reminds me of the moralising we get on here so much, actually.

Yep, everyone I know who spouts this is part of some enormous total cunt collective. The hypocrisy makes me boil.

An ex-friend is always harping on about stamping out bullying, yet she's the most horrendous bully I've ever encountered. She has a little group of flying monkeys, and her tactic is divide and conquer. She also has quite the victim complex. Naturally, she's a big advocate of being fucking kind.

Luckily I don't bother with social media, or my eyes would roll out of my skull, never to be seen again.

Wow I actually feel so much happier after posting this! Pleased it’s not just me that thinks it 😂😂😂

Well yeah most kind people just get on with it.

They don't post about it like an idiot.