People pretend to be kind but really it’s just a load of bull?!

[Angryattrackandtrace]

So many people I know spout off about being kind, thinking of others and being a good human being. Bit actually, it’s bull. They don’t mean it!

They say be kind. They pop it on their profile page. They nod and agree with others. They don’t mean it mind.

They say mean things about those around them (yes, I’m an adult and I use the term mean) and are spiteful. Bit pretend not to be.

So, aibu thinking that most adults don’t really mean it when they promote being kind?!

@Annoy

I agree with you OP. It’s usually the ones who shout the loudest about being kind that are the meanest.

Off topic but Same with relationships... the ones plastered all lovey dovey all over SM are usually the ones with the most cracks.

Think I might be cynical 🙄

Totally agree with you on the relationship thing! Scrolling through my feed on Valentine's Day.. "You were a real dick to her last week....you've cheated....all you ever do is moan about him.. " etc etc It's laughable

It's bullshit.

One of my neighbours is a be kind person. Had a big poster up in her front window last year to that effect. Is also a regular churchgoer, makes a big show of helping at the church food bank blah blah.

She's also a complete cunt who has behaved appallingly to me and my family and whose feral kids are a fucking nuisance.

But yeah, be kind. Whatever.

You've made me think OP, and I've realised that the kindest people I know just sort of get on with it, rather than lecture others about #BeKind.

@Grenlei we all know one 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh I know a few people like it. And what annoys me everyone likes them, and can't do enough for them!!

I also hate the way it’s on merchandise
Never aimed at men though.
I hate slogan tops for kids unless it’s something non-loaded (eg “Summer vibes” is ok but stuff in a similar vein to “be kind” on girls’ clothing I absolutely hate)

“Normal kind people do kindness without a parade.”
I love this and 100% agree!

The whole be kind stuff on social media is usually just a cover for "I've been mean but don't call me out on it"

But generally I think it's problematic as humans are complex creatures. Even people who would normally be considered kind and nice can be mean. It's not a simple issue sometimes.

My sister is angry and can be quite manipulative yet her Facebook profile is full of these memes and quizzes saying all sorts of virtue signalling piffle. It's not real life. I don't recognise the person online

I think some people weaponise #BeKind as a way to shut down any criticism or consequences for bad behaviour. I’ve seen people pull it out when they’ve been rightly criticised for something thoughtless/reckless even when the instigator wasn’t rude or nasty in how it was said.

Sometimes it seems that the louder someone claims sainthood, the bigger the horns they are hiding.

seen this quote on the internet many a time, and it's true

I don’t think I’m particularly kind, and it’s not a quality I value particularly highly in others, but, having said that, I don’t talk about anyone behind their back, I never betray a confidence, I don’t misuse power when I have it, I’m sensitive to those who are struggling or timid in a situation, I’m happy to use my own confidence to speak up for someone who needs it etc. I think ‘Don’t be weak or mean’ is a better motto. Though less amenable to being parroted on sm.

Yep totally. I know someone who rants on about being kind and how she's a lovely person and would help the homeless etc yet she cut me off suddenly after being friends for 2 ish years. She's still on my SM and I see her posts and all I think is "attention seeker" all she posts about is helping people and the mantra of life etc etc
She bought a dog during lockdown and haven't seen any posts about him for 6 months or more I'm wondering if she's got rid of him

In my experience, an awful lot of people who utter #BeKind etc. really only mean be kind to ME.

It's hard to define what kindness is, anyway. How many threads do we get about people asking what the right thing to do would be, and no consensus?

Be kind to me just means don’t disagree with me or tell me I’m wrong. It’s bullshit.

I think the one that gets me the most is 'Just smile and be kind back' no matter what the arse says or does 'just smile and be kind back they might be having a bad day'

Why does the one getting shit on always need to be 'the bigger person'?

The parking threads are a good example. Someone parks in or across another person's drive and leaves there car there for hours. There's always one person telling the home owner 'just turn a blind eye to it, it's not actually inconveniencing you. You could park down the road and walk 3 miles to your home with that weekly shop you just bought for your family of 5.' Why should the home owner have to park anywhere else other than the drive they paid for? Or why should a homeowner not be able to exit their drive because some arse parked across it rather than anywhere else on the road?
I can't understand this 'just let people do whatever they want, you don't want to upset anyone' brigade meanwhile your life is being made shite by the person people are telling you not to upset.

It doesn't need proclaiming. Most people are nice, some not.

YANBU. Also anti-racism and diversity rhetoric at work, with hashtags and email signatures. It's all crap, all they really want to do is maintain the status quo.

I agree that the #be kind is posted by people who don't want anyone calling them out and are generally bad mouthing people in their social media updates. Most people get by just being kind/not a dick and not having to tell the world about it or posting quotes about their kind heart.

YANBU, when people talk about kindness they only mean towards themselves. I knew someone who shouted really loudly about supporting people with disabilities (she had a disability) and being kind and not bullying people. But I guess she was only talking about herself. Because I’m also disabled and she unkindly bullied me out of the group we did our hobby in.