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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does she seem like she doesn’t want to meet me?

57 replies

Athena44 · 27/07/2021 18:05

It’s an old colleague who I haven’t seen in a couple of years now. We’ve kept in touch, tried to arrange meet-ups but lockdown made it difficult as we don’t live that close by.

She told me that she had a few days off at the end of May and we had planned a day out then. Then a couple of days before she told me that she was not feeling well, that it wasn’t Covid but she thought she’d better cancel just in case.

I understood and she said she would let me know when she next had days off.

However since then, she hasn’t been in contact unless I have first. It’s been nearly 2 months but she just seems sketchy about it. Surely nobody works 7 days a week? It’s a 2 hour train ride for me to get to hers for the day and I offered to go, I just find it odd.

I’m not going to try anymore and will let her contact me if she wants to meet, she said she was feeling down a few months back, like a lot of people have during this pandemic. But sort of wondering if she just isn’t interested in meeting me anymore.

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock · 28/07/2021 08:37

I'd send her one last text and forget it.

Youdiditanyway · 28/07/2021 08:38

She’s just a standard flaky friend, we’ve all had one at some point. Ditch her, it isn’t worth the hassle.

Marshmallow44 · 28/07/2021 08:39

How are lonely people supposed to get help then if they can’t have friends to talk to?

TheNarwhalBalloon · 28/07/2021 08:43

It's probably best to let this one go as it sounds like she has had some struggles with her mental health and that you're not sympathetic to this. Sounds like not a great combination right now for either of you.

wigjuice · 28/07/2021 08:45

@Marshmallow44

How are lonely people supposed to get help then if they can’t have friends to talk to?
I really get it, I'm not easy to befriend, I spend a lot of time in my own head, the 2 real friends I have, at the age of 50, sort of happened naturally and over time. When I was younger I think I became more fixated on having a friend rather than think of them as a person with their own things going on. I've been diagnosed with having autism in the past 10 years, and it's helped me realise myself. I'm sorry to OP to come across as uncaring and blunt, I hope everything comes good for her x
Mary46 · 28/07/2021 10:29

I find some are keen to meet. Others are we must meet up! I dont chase people I give few dates leave to them. Work people lovely but once we moved on no contact. Op I let it go now. We all busy Im not chasing people!!

Sakura7 · 28/07/2021 10:45

OP I know you're disappointed, but sadly this is life. Friendships come and go and you can't force someone to meet up.

You are starting to come across as a bit pushy which won't be helping the situation. I think you need to develop yourself and do things you're interested in (from which new friends will hopefully follow) rather than rely on old friendships that have naturally waned.

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