To feel ick at this?

[naughty40me]

Man early 40s. He's single but flirting with me.
Known him years, actually an old flame.

I downloaded Tik Tok yesterday only because an MUA I follow on Facebook posted a link. I got sucked in.

Anyway, phone asks me to sync my contacts and he appeared.

He hasn't posted any videos.

He is following over 4000 accounts....of course I had a nosey.

My god, 99% of them all young women with boobs out, arses out, flirting and posing at the camera.

My teenage daughter has Tik Tok but an under 16 account.
No one else I know really bothers with it apart from the tweens and teens that I know who watch the dances and funny clips.

I am a bit shocked to see him on there and honestly feel urrgh at it all.

I'm no prude but I just don't like this at all.

Am I overreacting?

It's just made me see him in a whole new light.

I can't get my head around why it bothers me so much, its not my own insecurites and he's free and single etc but I just keep thinking "ewww go away you perve!"

Would anyone else feel the same or AIBU to think like this?

I'm 42 myself and been single 6 years. I gave up OLD as sick of all the dick pics and lude comments. What is it with grown men nowadays!

Think I'll just become a nun.

YANBU.

That's creepy for sure..

It’s just utterly depressing how many platforms there are for men to drool over girls and women’s bodies.

Urgh how horrid. I wouldn't be going any further with him

GROSS. Massive red flag in my book, and a definite hard pass.

Grim

Totally understandable it's made you feel ick and definitely not a feeling you should ignore. I wish the women who put these videos up would realise it's not empowering and it gains you no one's respect, it just reinforces men's impression that it's ok to view women as pieces of meat. And that's clearly how this man views women, sorry OP.

I'm quite shocked how it's made me feel tbh.

I always thought I was easy going but this has struck a nerve somewhere.

Maybe because I'm older, not old by any means but I have neices these girls age and my daughter is turning into a young woman. And he has an adult DD of his own.

Just all a bit sad really isn't it. Its something I would expect a spotty teenage boy to be doing; even then its not right. But a grown ass man?!

I haven't told him what I've seen, just giving him a wide berth from now on.

Men who objectify women aren't worth any woman's time. Ever. But especially men who objectify young women.

Ewww that’s grim. That would put me right off someone for sure.

What is wrong with these men? Seriously though, what IS wrong with them?

I’ll join you in the nunnery I think op.

Ew - definitely grim. I'd quietly cut ties.

Yeah pervy bloke leering over 4000 accounts of women probably half his age or more, is just grim. Even more grim that the has an adult daughter probably the same age as these women.

And if he asks why you’ve cooled off, I’d tell him.

It's gross, for sure. I wouldn't go near him. But these woman put themselves on tiktok for the money. It's hardly objectification. It's their choice.

I’d definitely tell him why you e cooled off too.
Might make him realise. You never know

YANBU. Men like this are a certain "type" even if he wasn't single he'd probably still be doing it. There's a couple of men I know who are married to friends of mine, they follow and "like" the pics of tons and tons of accounts on Instagram of young, pouty, half naked girls/women. I cringe for my friends. Both have cheated in the past too unsurprisingly. I do t know if they're on TikTok as I'm not (sad bastards probably are) but yes YANBU feeling "ick" about these sorts!

@Bookworm20

Ewww that’s grim. That would put me right off someone for sure.

What is wrong with these men? Seriously though, what IS wrong with them?

I’ll join you in the nunnery I think op.

Immaturity.

They can get addicted to scantily clad women on social media though, or just porn. Before social media it'd be page 3 of the tabloids or lad mags.

Middle aged men partaking in it though is pathetic.

I swear the older I get and the more I learn about men, if something happened to DH or we split, I don’t think I’d bother with males ever again.

Isn't it depressing when you discover that yet another man you had regard for does this type of thing? Had a similar experience recently and it completely put me off my friend. I told him why. Sadly his massive ego convinced him I was jealous.

Bleurgh.

And it isn't a jealousy thing as so many of this type of man seem to think when a woman is turned off by it.

I'm not turned off by it because I'm jealous, I'm turned off by it because it is pathetic of the man and gives me the ick massively about him. Like a 14 year old boy perving on girls he's too nervous to talk to... except he's an adult with kids their age. Embarrassing!

Definite red flag. He probably looks at it constantly, TikTok is outrageous though for content some girls/women put out. Every dance is erotic or suggestive, there’s no need!

totally ick and creepy

@Bookworm20

I’d definitely tell him why you e cooled off too. Might make him realise. You never know

Nah don’t tell him. It’s not fair for the future women he’ll date. He’ll only get better at hiding the evidence. Leave him in the dark so the next woman can find out early enough.

@TooWicked im the same! I can't remember how it came up but DH and I were discussing recently and i said I dont think I'd marry again if anything happened to him. I think be thought it was said out of love and loyalty but really I just don't think I trust any other men to not disgust me in some way!

I find men who post on social media a lot quite a turn off anyway, I think putting photos etc on social media is generally attention seeking/“like me!” behaviour and that isn’t very masculine.

This meme I saw just now is fitting...