To ask how you'd deal with DD and DS?

[fijnere]

Yesterday, DS15 and DD12 were fighting. I was at work so I didn't witness it but DS told me that she took his phone and was reading messaging between him and his girlfriend and he told her to give his phone back but DD refused. DD is denying that this happened and said that DS just went into her room and grabbed her wrist (there was a red mark on her wrist), DS admitted that he did grab her wrist but only because she wouldn't give him his phone and it was annoying him.

How would you deal with this?

I'd be inclined to believe him but that's because i know what an utter twat my little sister was at that age (similar age difference)

I'd be telling him (separately) that he must remember that he's bigger & stronger and that he needs to be more than careful grabbing things back off anyone. His punishment would be to sincerely apologise to sister and not to grab things from her again.

For her? I would expect a full and sincere apology for grabbing his phone and reading his messages and overstepping into his private sphere. She must understand that this is a big no-no and that nobody should be looking anyone's phone (outside any rules you have with her and tech since she's so young) and that if people grab her phone and read her private messages it is equally not on. This will help her set up boundaries around this kind of thing. This is a really important lesson.

I would also say that DD obvs needs a baby sitter and that you're arranging one.

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@Mishty9815 you'll get better responses if you start your own thread, perhaps in the Teenagers section.

I was that little sister, and I would have been dancing away, pretending to read the screen, holding it out if reach and laughing like a hyena. No way would my brother have stood there ineffectually asking me to give his phone back, and if I went whining to my mother about him taking it back, she would not have been impressed.

I would give them both a bollocking and suggest to your DD that you can find someone to watch her if need be.

I wouldn't do anything. Your DD stole your DS's property and your DS used proportionate force to retrieve it, given that you weren't there to intervene. People are entitled to use reasonable force to defend and retrieve their property. I would only intervene if I felt he had been excessively rough or violent in getting the phone back. If his phone had been stolen by someone in the street, you wouldn't expect him just to stand there and accept it, would you?

Thank you

Unless your DS has form for bullying your DD I’d tend to believe his version of events, so I would tell my DD off for invading her DB’s privacy and for teasing him and also have a quiet word with DS about whether him squeezing his DS’s hand hard enough to leave a mark was really necessary. I would also seriously re consider about leaving the two of them alone together in future. I don’t think they are mature enough as yet unfortunately.

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