AIBU to think solicitor would not do this?

[Orwell1998]

Hi all, a close friend of mine has a very jealous ex. He spotted her out with her new partner last week.
I say this as background info.
Anyway, she received a letter from a solicitor today asking her to refrain from doing something. I cannot go into details but it is something she wants to do which would have a punitive effect on her should she be not allowed to do it.

The letter-she has never had communications from this firm before - addresses her by her first name.
For example, it says Dear Anne NOT Dear Mrs Jones. Or Dear Mrs Anne Jones.
(obviously not real names, just to illustrate point).

The solicitors firm does exist.
I just find it odd that a solicitor would do this. Address someone as Dear first name only.
AIBU? I just don't know.

@HasaDigaEebowai

I would never have addressed a client by their forename - I think that's grossly impertinent and I'd be furious if I got a letter from the otherside using my first name

Really? Blimey I’m 22 years pqe so hardly a newbie and I wouldn’t think twice about addressing a fellow solicitor by their first name after the first letter, particularly if that’s the way they sign off correspondence ie “yours sincerely Joe Bloggs”. If a solicitor on the other side insisted on calling me Mrs X after the first letter I’d think they were trying to be deliberately adversarial and difficult. I must have been pissing people off numerous times a day.

I do employment though, we tend to be a bit more relaxed and less formal than some other areas.

yes but that is to a fellow solicitor....not a complete stranger who a client has asked you to write a serious warning letter to.

'yes but that is to a fellow solicitor....not a complete stranger who a client has asked you to write a serious warning letter to.'

Precisely.

Depends what it is. But yes a solicitor can draft a letter of that kind.

A solicitor might draft that kind of letter as a scare tactic - it's not something I would do, but it's pretty common to send drafts of court forms to give the impression that you are taking action. My standard advice is to ignore if it's not been filed with the courts, because it has no legal force. If someone is paying a solicitor to send this stuff that's going to be money wasted.

That said, in this case it does sound like someone might be using an unauthorised letterhead. Impossible to judge without more details.

Oh, and it's highly unlikely that you would be addressed by your first name in that situation.

I'm an accountant and write similarly formal letters. I would personally put full name in address, so Mrs Anne Smith, 6 High Street, then Dear Anne as the salutation.

However, I generally only write letters to my own clients and not to a third party I've never previously communicated with. Although if that came up, I still think I would stand by the above - so not impossible.

Does she have children with this ex ? Is the request something to do with them ? If she hasn’t children with him or if the request has nothing to do with the children then the ex can jog on.

Does the letter mention the ex as being their client ?
I would contact them to verify the authenticity of the letter and if fraudulent contact the police, r.e. Harassment.

@LobotomisedIceSkatingFan

There are rules on hostile correspondence. If this letter is breaking them, I'd write to the senior partner.

That's very interesting, thanks for responding - much appreciated.

Does that apply even when it's dressed up in smarm? 'My client wishes to express his grave concerns about blah and the effects that your undertaking blah will have on the children of the marriage, and consequently requests that you give an undertaking not to continue with this course of action, or he feels he who have no option but to take further steps in this matter. We request your response within 7 days.'

That kind of thing. It's not hostile language per se but for me it was certainly part of a pattern of harassment and fortunately the Police agreed (he did other stuff, obvs, the letters were just a bit of icing).

I was surprised at his solicitor's firm's willingness to write these letters without any, let alone all, of the facts, to a complete stranger. I found one of them in particular very offensive and defamatory - but of course solicitors' letters are not 'published' as such so it's all regarded as confidential and the third party stranger just has to suck it up.

Some of these letters are going to very vulnerable women with children, who live on their own, sometimes in insecure housing and with limited means to respond, due precisely to the breakdown of the relationship with which the solicitor has become (financially) involved. There's an inequality of arms, as it were.

Sorry about the rant.

Addressing another solicitor is a bit different, though. If you’re writing a formal letter to a third party on behalf of your client, surely you wouldn’t use their first name?

Not unless I knew them, no. But I thought the op was talking about solicitor to solicitor correspondence in the final part of her post. She talked about being furious if she got a letter from the other side using her first name.

Maybe it depends on area specialism (and I’m a transactional sol so don’t tend to hold on long to anything contentious (which would get farmed out pretty sharpish to litigator colleagues or counsel)) but I can’t remember the last time I wrote an actual letter (as opposed to an email).

I also don’t know about the first names thing tbh - I can see both sides to the quandary as to whether to use them as an initial/ongoing form of address - esp in a day and age when the use of sex-indicative titles can itself be controversial/presumptuous. Again though, I’m a non-contentious lawyer and we don’t tend to be massively formal in our comms with others, and (though I appreciate and can understand PPs’ views that it may be perceived as impertinent etc) it’s standard practice in my area to use first names only.

@HasaDigaEebowai

Addressing another solicitor is a bit different, though. If you’re writing a formal letter to a third party on behalf of your client, surely you wouldn’t use their first name?

Not unless I knew them, no. But I thought the op was talking about solicitor to solicitor correspondence in the final part of her post. She talked about being furious if she got a letter from the other side using her first name.

That is also how I read it given letters from the other side would be from their solicitor, presumably, if they had one

If she rings them make sure she uses the phone number from their official website, not the one on the letter. If it’s a fake letter he’ll have changed numbers on the letterhead (if he’s got a brain), so she’d be calling him/a participant in whatever intimidation tactic it is, who will of course confirm the letter is legit.

@HasaDigaEebowai

I would never have addressed a client by their forename - I think that's grossly impertinent and I'd be furious if I got a letter from the otherside using my first name

Really? Blimey I’m 22 years pqe so hardly a newbie and I wouldn’t think twice about addressing a fellow solicitor by their first name after the first letter, particularly if that’s the way they sign off correspondence ie “yours sincerely Joe Bloggs”. If a solicitor on the other side insisted on calling me Mrs X after the first letter I’d think they were trying to be deliberately adversarial and difficult. I must have been pissing people off numerous times a day.

I do employment though, we tend to be a bit more relaxed and less formal than some other areas.

Surely it's to do with relationship? I used to be a nurse and I would never address a new patient with their first name unless invited to. As the relationship developed, it would often become natural to use their first name, but if I hadn't been invited to, I'd stick with title and surname. It was showing respect and knowing that I was a stranger to them with a great deal of power.

Similarly, even though DD1's teachers sign off with their first name, I always start emails to them with 'Dear Mrs X' - I'm respecting that they are the teacher. However, I am a Governor at 3 schools, and I would email the teachers using their first name because we are a team.

I can't stand it when I get a sales call and the person trying to sell me something starts using my first name as if we've known each other for years.

@1099

Personally I wouldn't call them, tell her to write to them asking them to clarify the contents of the letter, if they do then find something in the 2nd letter to query, tell her to keep this up as long as she can. Solicitors charge for every letter they write.

Yes, if it’s genuine it will cost the ex a fortune

I wouldn’t read too much into the first name thing.

The fact the firm doesn’t seem to exist would be a clue he’s faked the letter.

However as everyone has said, a solicitor’s letter doesn’t mean she can’t do it, unless it’s otherwise illegal etc. They just act on their client’s instructions. So unless the letter says “which is unlawful under x Act” or “because it’s detrimental to the children and we’ll take you to court under y provision” then I’d ignore it.

The fact the firm doesn’t seem to exist would be a clue he’s faked the letter.

The firm DOES exist. OP says so in the OP.

I don't think the addressee language can be considered definitive of anything - I am a solicitor (though not private client and, to be fair, not contentious) and I wouldn't blink at addressing correspondence to someone using their first name. I would have thought that a legitimate firm would have no issue confirming the letter was indeed sent by them if your friend rang to check - there should be some sort of reference number or identifying information which would make this possible.

It is an offence to impersonate a solicitor or a solicitors firm under the Solicitors Act 1974 and the Legal Services Act 2007 BUT the police will not be interested in a one odd incident.

Technically the SRA could start a private prosecution but again, for a one odd incident, they won't.

However if the firm hasn't sent the letter, pointing out to the sender (ie the client) that what they are doing is illegal might stop them. However it's more likely to be a warning shot which has no power.

Off!

My ex had a solicitor write me this.
Miss Not The Correct Surname.
Please remove the new blinds from your kitchen and dining room windows as my client can no longer see the dc.
Mr Absolute Twat solicitor..
Obviously a legit firm but they will write whatever they are paid to send..

Why doesn’t “your friend” just call and ask? Seems pretty straightforward.

Tell her to ring solicitor and speak to them. Ask them did they send letter? Is it on letterhead paper.
Might be a fake drafted by husband or might be done by them on his instructions.
Usually would always address 3rd party as Mr Smith or Mr Bob Smith. But no one infallible. Case management system - 3rd party wrongly entered as Anne (file opening often done by office junior etc) then letter pulls through as Dear Anne. Yes should be checked by solicitor but easily missed if in a rush with big pile of post you tend to read body of text only. So might be a mistake not suspect.

@Geamhradh

Tips on spotting a fake? Your friend rings the solicitor and asks if they sent the letter.

Yes this job done !!

Was it genuine OP?