AIBU to think solicitor would not do this?

[Orwell1998]

Hi all, a close friend of mine has a very jealous ex. He spotted her out with her new partner last week.
I say this as background info.
Anyway, she received a letter from a solicitor today asking her to refrain from doing something. I cannot go into details but it is something she wants to do which would have a punitive effect on her should she be not allowed to do it.

The letter-she has never had communications from this firm before - addresses her by her first name.
For example, it says Dear Anne NOT Dear Mrs Jones. Or Dear Mrs Anne Jones.
(obviously not real names, just to illustrate point).

The solicitors firm does exist.
I just find it odd that a solicitor would do this. Address someone as Dear first name only.
AIBU? I just don't know.

Yes I'd be asking the solicitors for more info

@HasaDigaEebowai

A solicitors letter will be on headed paper. It will also have the solicitors sra number on it in the footer generally with a list of partners or directing you to the list or the company registration number and the registered office address.

The ex may have photocopied the heading from an official letter, then added his own text.

I’m a solicitor and often address people by their first name. Can he not just call to confirm the letter came from them?

Also - a solicitor asking you to do something doesn’t mean you have to. Only a court can do that.

Also it’s an offence to impersonate a solicitor so if they are it’s in your interests to find out!

If it's a fake it's potentially an example of harassment, if she needs to demonstrate a pattern.

I've had ridiculous and solicitors' letters from my ExH and my late father's 'lady friend' with unpleasant content, and you wonder how professionals can take money to write such asinine crap to strangers who are in the middle of divorces and/or bereaved.

Weird old business.

I agree you/your friend should check whether it's genuinely from that particular solicitor asap.

Well firstly a solicitor acts on behalf of the client so will send any letter as long as not illegal.

This isn’t true. Solicitors use their professional judgment as much as any other profession and often refuse client demands if they’re ridiculous or unreasonable.

OP - it would be very odd for a solicitor to use a first name only. I’ve never seen this done.

Does the letter have a file reference? Has it been signed by a named person? What is the paper quality like? Is the heading on the paper printed on, or is it actual headed paper? These can all be signs of a fake.

I agree your friend should contact the solicitors firm to ensure it’s real. But even if it is real, she doesn’t necessarily have to pay any attention to it. If the thing she is being asked not to do isn’t illegal and doesn’t contravene any court ordered arrangement between her and her ex, she doesn’t have to pay any attention to the letter. It doesn’t have any authority over her just because it comes from a solicitor.

Just because the firm exists, doesn't mean the letter might not have been faked. As above. Someone might have recreated the letterhead. Only way to find out is to ring the person supposed to have sent it.

I would never have addressed a client by their forename - I think that's grossly impertinent and I'd be furious if I got a letter from the otherside using my first name - but I was once instructed to send a two page letter concerning the return of a gross of freezer bag ties: instructions for where they'd be found in the garage; how to package them; suggested date and time; who'd be an acceptable third party for handover. I pointed out that, while not an expert on the RRP of ancillary kitchenware m, I was pretty sure the cost of the letter would be greater than the cost of some plastic-coated wire ties. Client didn't care. Wanted it sent.

Sorry, but this is blowing my mind.

If it's not enforceable, what's the point in paying a solicitor to do it?

Can anyone give me an example of things they've been requested to tell someone to stop doing?

I would get your friend to call up the firm and ask. If nothing else they may add an extra couple of units of time onto her ex's invoice!!

But it doesn't matter if it's fake or not. A solicitor is not a court of law, the letter has no legal status whatsoever.

@Sapnupuas

Sorry, but this is blowing my mind.

If it's not enforceable, what's the point in paying a solicitor to do it?

Can anyone give me an example of things they've been requested to tell someone to stop doing?

It's an intimidation tactic. Look at the OP, worrying about the letter.

I don't think you can assume it's fake just because it's addressed to
First name, I work as a solicitor for local authority and depending on context might address a letter 'Dear Anne' particularly if going through divorce and I'm not clear if they are using Mrs Married Name or Ms Maiden Name etc.

Easy enough to contact firm and verify it, yes impersonating them is bad and could get ex in trouble.

And to pp who asked what sort of requests I've had to write letters by far the most common I get is "Dear neighbour, please stop using my path/garden/drive as this is private property and you have no right of way"

Contacting the Solicitor means acknowledging receipt of the letter which could have implications further down the line if the ex has the means and inclination to pursue vexatious litigation.

If your friends intended actions are not illegal or in breach of any legally binding agreement she signed with the ex then I would suggest she completely ignore it and do what she likes within the law.

If your friend is in doubt she could consult with a Solicitor herself but I think that would be an unnecessary expense. A solicitors letter cannot compel her to refrain from going about her life in a completely lawful way. If the letter is genuine and the action she has been asked to refrain from is lawful then I would argue the Solicitor is participating in harassment by proxy and should know better.

None of the reasons you have given would mean it’s not genuine. Best thing to do is to send a copy to the solicitor’s firm and ask for confirmation that it is legitimate.

@Sapnupuas

Sorry, but this is blowing my mind.

If it's not enforceable, what's the point in paying a solicitor to do it?

Can anyone give me an example of things they've been requested to tell someone to stop doing?

Intimidation tactic.

I did feel that my ExH's solicitors were dancing on the edge of enabling his harassment.

@Sapnupuas

Sorry, but this is blowing my mind.

If it's not enforceable, what's the point in paying a solicitor to do it?

Can anyone give me an example of things they've been requested to tell someone to stop doing?

It may not be enforcable but it's usually part of what's known as pre action protocol - i.e. "if you don't stop doing this we'll commence legal proceedings". You cant just issue a claim without warning or as I understand it you'll face costs sanctions further down the line. There would still be other letters to be written before commencing most legal proceedings but a warning shot is often enough to resolve the issue.

It can be things like - stop spreading rumours about my client, do not approach my client, stick to terms of court order or we'll return to court or I know someone who once received a letter demanding they stopped their dogs barking before 7.30am. Solicitors are instructed and they write what their client wants within reason

Bloody hell.

Thank you to everyone who responded.

I'm not sure if I'm stupid, or live a sheltered life, because I've never known anyone to do this before.

I would argue the Solicitor is participating in harassment by proxy and should know better

My thoughts too, @FOJN.

@SpindleWhorl

I would argue the Solicitor is participating in harassment by proxy and should know better

My thoughts too, @FOJN.

To clarify, I mean where the client's instruction is clearly unreasonable, e.g. 'tell her she's not going back to university '; 'tell her to get a better paid job so I don't have to pay so much child maintenance'; 'tell her she's not allowed to have a boyfriend without my approval'.

There are rules on hostile correspondence. If this letter is breaking them, I'd write to the senior partner.

Get your friend to call the firm. See what they say.

I would never have addressed a client by their forename - I think that's grossly impertinent and I'd be furious if I got a letter from the otherside using my first name

Really? Blimey I’m 22 years pqe so hardly a newbie and I wouldn’t think twice about addressing a fellow solicitor by their first name after the first letter, particularly if that’s the way they sign off correspondence ie “yours sincerely Joe Bloggs”. If a solicitor on the other side insisted on calling me Mrs X after the first letter I’d think they were trying to be deliberately adversarial and difficult. I must have been pissing people off numerous times a day.

I do employment though, we tend to be a bit more relaxed and less formal than some other areas.

Is she riding naked down the High Street on a pony again OP?

I suspect it's taking the child overseas for a holiday or something like that.

@HasaDigaEebowai

I would never have addressed a client by their forename - I think that's grossly impertinent and I'd be furious if I got a letter from the otherside using my first name

Really? Blimey I’m 22 years pqe so hardly a newbie and I wouldn’t think twice about addressing a fellow solicitor by their first name after the first letter, particularly if that’s the way they sign off correspondence ie “yours sincerely Joe Bloggs”. If a solicitor on the other side insisted on calling me Mrs X after the first letter I’d think they were trying to be deliberately adversarial and difficult. I must have been pissing people off numerous times a day.

I do employment though, we tend to be a bit more relaxed and less formal than some other areas.

Addressing another solicitor is a bit different, though. If you’re writing a formal letter to a third party on behalf of your client, surely you wouldn’t use their first name?