How would you feel if he said this to you?

[Snowedundersnow]

We have been dating for a while and the build up to sex was immense! I thought it would be out of this world and I believe he did too. It was in fact awful! I think we both know this. He then calls me to organise a day to see each other again and says 'we can make up for Thursday'.

How would you feel about this?

He messaged me shortly after and said he meant him and not me.

He may be acknowledging awkwardly that he was too nervous to perform adequately and would like another chance

I would be fine about it, you both know your first time together wasn't great and he was just being honest and saying he'd like to give it another try. Assuming you want that too then I'd be happy to give it another go and see if you can get the sparks flying, maybe there was just too much expectation on both sides last time.

The fact that he clarified he meant him actually turns it in to quite a sweet message

Agree @arethereanyleftatall

He’s being honest. That’s the best thing when it comes to sex!

@arethereanyleftatall

The fact that he clarified he meant him actually turns it in to quite a sweet message

It takes two to tango. What’s wrong with acknowledging it went wrong without apportioning blame?

I think this message is fine. Better than sticking heads in sand! Onwards and upwards

Tbh it depends on why the sex was shit

Like was it all on him, or do you think the comment means he wants you to do something you don’t want to do or put on a performance?

You’d be in more trouble if he thought it was a good time!

I'd think it was great. He's acknowledged that it wasn't great and knows you were aware of that and that he wants to give it another go.

Same as everyone else - he’s someone who
communicates honestly, which is a great trait.

I'd think he was acknowledging it wasn't great and wants to do better. He's then realised it could have sounded like he was criticising you so has tried to correct it.

All seems good to me.

Seems fine to me. Tgd first time with my DH wasn't great, we laughed about it years later! And the sex is much better now!

I think it's nice to acknowledge the awkwardness and move on. I would be fine with messages like that.

I'd feel relieved that he also thought it was a bit shit (and took the blame).

@arethereanyleftatall

The fact that he clarified he meant him actually turns it in to quite a sweet message

I agree too. He’s obviously thought that might sound critical and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. A good sign.

Not sure I see the problem to be honest. He’s acknowledging the sex wasn’t great and wants a chance to try again. Would be worse if he thought it was good for you 🤷‍♀️

I'd feel relieved he knew it wasn't great and that he knows he can do better...

It’s often a bit shit the first time! I tend to think it’s because you really like each other.
I think it’s a positive

I’d take it as a positive. He’s willing to communicate about it, doesn’t think it was awesome for you when it wasn’t. When you see him I’d just say you were both nervous, practice makes perfect and all that and have a nice night.

It's a lovely message

I’d be relieved and quite pleased, great to acknowledge but he obviously feels it’s worth trying again so that’s a good thing

What is there to feel?

You either give him another go or you don’t.

But I agree with what bimbly said - honesty is important and you’ve got an honest one.

If you are looking for lots of shit first time sexy time stories though you are going to be disappointed.

@Bimblybomeyelash

He’s being honest. That’s the best thing when it comes to sex!

Amen to that!

@wetpebbles

It's a lovely message

^^ this