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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To so what’s your least favourite age to parent?

213 replies

SheABitSpicyToday · 26/07/2021 15:44

My sister hates the newborn and toddler phase.

I loved it and now have a nearly 7 year old and am ashamed to admit I hate it. Have another own due in a few months and am worried about giving both enough time as the 7 year old seems to need me so much more than I anticipated.

Anyone else feel the same way? My dad said I was horrid from 6 till about 21 so that’s a long time

OP posts:

SpacePug · 27/07/2021 08:54

My eldest is 2.5 so hard for me to judge..but this is the hardest age so far, feel so restricted going places, he has short attention span so in a restaurant he ends up on YouTube on my phone after a while. We go to park/soft play and he kicks off when it's time to leave scratching and hitting, makes me not wanna go anywhere. He doesn't walk sensibly so still using the pram a lot which is a pain as have a baby aswell. I'll be glad to ditch the pram and nappies.

BetsyBigNose · 27/07/2021 09:02

I found the first 6 months with both of my DDs utterly miserable. The first time round, the complete shock of becoming a parent totally floored me, coupled with colic and a 3 hour long crying session each evening between 6 and 9pm left me wondering why I had ever wanted to have a baby in the first place.

My favourite age to parent is always the age they are now - my DDs are currently 12 and 14 and are both fabulous company. I find them endlessly fascinating, they are both such lovely, kind, friendly people, with fully-formed opinions and views of their own. So far, we appear to have avoided any rebellious teenage behaviour or hormonal dramatics - although I'm sure we're due some tricky times at some point! I honestly couldn't ask for anything more from my daughters, they are my favourite people in the whole world, by quite some margin!

yellow25 · 27/07/2021 09:11

Honestly I think I would have 10 newborns!!!! My boys have been quite different from the start but loved the newborn stage with both.
They aren't teenagers yet but so far I have struggled the most with the 12-18ish months stage. I think it's the difficulties in communicating, combined with their moving around and climbing on everything and just general chaos.

yellow25 · 27/07/2021 09:14

The 2/3/4 year old tantrums can be exhausting but they have become their own little person then too and I have found that the hilarity far outweighs the angst!

Seriously79 · 27/07/2021 09:14

I have a 12 year old DS - I say he's 12, he thinks he's about 26 and invincible 🙄 he's 'always' right, I know nothing, and the fresh batch of teenage hormones we get every hour is so much fun! He suddenly goes deaf whenever I ask him to do anything which often results in many a argument.

I also have a 2 year old daughter, and we are 3 days into potty training, to be fair it's not going too badly. Aside from that they seem to of synced themselves, every hour we get a tantrum of one kind or another, my DD is easier to deal with as she doesn't answer back as much, and hasn't learnt how to slam doors.

They are both lovely, and I'd never be without them! But my god 🙄

FourTeaFallOut · 27/07/2021 09:15

Honestly I think I would have 10 newborns!!!!

That would be a realm of hell for me. Although at least if they all cried at the same time it would even out the wails and become white noise.

Whereas I loved, loved the toddler stage. I'd take ten toddlers - no worries.

thebeesknees123 · 27/07/2021 09:17

Toddler

womaninatightspot · 27/07/2021 09:18

Not a fan of the baby/ toddler years. I barely remember the first three years of my twins lives and they are only 6! I was so sleep deprived and they were croupy, vomiting take it in turns to sleep machines.

Dramallama4 · 27/07/2021 09:21

Love babies, toddlers I’m not keen on, the whining and crying about every little thing drives me insane, primary age is ok and I like teenagers.

RBKB · 27/07/2021 09:24

15...witching hour for girls. 50/50 chance they transform to demons and yell for 7 years. Now eldest is 22, I have finally stopped flinching as the front door opens on her return....

yellow25 · 27/07/2021 09:32

@FourTeaFallOut isn't it funny how different people are.

@SheABitSpicyToday I guess different aspects of parenting come naturally to different people - depending on their strengths and personality I suppose. Please don't feel ashamed! You will come through this season with your 7yo and adapt to having both your children. Your 7yo will adapt to to being a big brother/sister, and might surprise you!

Themadcatparade · 27/07/2021 10:09

Newborn, and then around 3. She’s been fine since

FunnyWonder · 27/07/2021 10:26

I mentioned above a few reasons for not particularly liking age 8/9 - another reason is the full throttle, relentless whinging. Had that this morning with DS2. Sleepless nights are hard when they're newborns - I was a zombie - but this whinging phase is killing me. DS1 was the same but tended to snap out of it more quickly, but DS2 can keep it going for hours! I realise not all children do this but it seems a fairly common complaint among the parents I know.

Holyjinglebells · 27/07/2021 11:30

2 - 4 yrs, relentless nonsense.
5, relentless nonsense, but with slightly more watchable TV shows and movies....and loads more belly laughs

phoenixrosehere · 27/07/2021 11:37

Between 3 and 7. Our oldest is 6 asd and the youngest is almost 4.

I’m constantly repeating myself, constantly telling them to stop doing things they know they shouldn’t and they still continue to do it even after I’ve led them away. I’ve caught them both (different times) trying to climb out of the kitchen window because I said they couldn’t go into the back garden for a legitimate reason and have had to lock the window. It was the only window we had unlocked because the rest of them are due to the oldest trying to look out of them (our home has three floors). The oldest kicks, screams, and knocks over things when he doesn’t get his way while the youngest just dramatically drops to the floor with high pitch wailing and tears which then sets off his brother. 🙄

Taking them out is always a bit of a mixed bag since I don’t know what will trigger the oldest sensitivity to noise and he refuses to wear ear defenders and the youngest is an escape artist who no matter how many times I’ve changed and tighten the straps, he gets out of them.

They were easy babies. I slept when the oldest slept so sleep wasn’t a big problem and he was like clockwork and the youngest slept five hours a night and was easily entertained. Both happy, easygoing babies now they’re nothing but pure energy, tantrums and tornadoes. I keep telling myself they’ll mellow soon. They have to for my sanity.

MsTSwift · 27/07/2021 11:43

I think you can only comprehensively answer this question when your youngest is 25

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 27/07/2021 11:58

Mine are 9 and 3. With both i found 12-18 months pretty gruelling - the restful easy aspects of babyhood are gone, they're very very mobile, but they're also so often thwarted and whiny and simply keeping them safe is stressful. And by that point I was also worn out by a long time of broken nights, and going back to work, so contextually was hard too.

My eldest was a colicky baby and that was hard. He grew easier and easier with age. My youngest was an easygoing happy baby, which was lovely, but meant that the trajectory of happiness hasn't been so consistently upwards!

Eldest has had good and bad years at school and the bad ones have cast huge shadows over family life... but that wasn't the age, that was the circumstances. At 9 he's still in a 'this is getting easier all the time' phase.

CustardCreamm · 27/07/2021 13:16

Newborn stage for sure!

peaches35 · 27/07/2021 13:27

Around 15 months. That whiny high pitched crying they do when they can't communicate properly. And they're in the process of dropping their nap, so they're tired. Ugh, hated that age.

This. My son is 15 months old and I’m really struggling!

WoodPell · 27/07/2021 13:44

Currently kind of hating 2.5 to 3. It's my day off and I've had to give DS to DH for a bit it's his lunchtime). We've had shoving me in the legs, climbing everything dangerous, deliberate weeing on the floor and refusal to get dressed until DH asked him and he agreed immediately. I can't even take him places because he suddenly refuses to hold my hand by roads and I can only carry him shirt distances. He is lovely in many ways but OMG. No more kids.

WoodPell · 27/07/2021 13:46

Short! Short distances.

peaches35 · 27/07/2021 13:48

When you have a baby, people generally tell you that parenting gets easier and easier the older they get, but I’m not sure that’s true?

WoodPell · 27/07/2021 13:51

@peaches35

When you have a baby, people generally tell you that parenting gets easier and easier the older they get, but I’m not sure that’s true?

I think it depends what you find difficult. Everyone moans about teens and the worry but I'd rather be dealing with friendship and school dramas than the complete absence of personal space that comes with a toddler. I can't even go for a wee safely at the moment as if I leave DS in the lounge he tries to vault the sofa.

PugInTheHouse · 27/07/2021 13:52

Under 2s I'm not keen on, other peoples are sweet but it's pretty constant at that age when they're your own, although I was a SAHM at that point so I loved meeting friends and having coffee lol.

I have a 15 and 13 yo now, both boys and its great fun most of the time. I am not sure having teenage girls would be so easy but the boys are great company, they are funny and good to chat to. It potentially will get worse when they are pushing their boundaries with independence I guess. The thing I find better now than say when they were about 8-11 is that I am more chilled about how they are doing at school, their sports and so on, when they were younger I found it more stressful as always worried if they were reaching their potential, now I kind of let them get on with it (to a point).

Bythemillpond · 27/07/2021 14:00

I’ve loved every stage apart from the toddler stage where I couldn’t leave them alone because they would be into anything and everything
But 3-5 before they went to school was brilliant because we went out to different places and I could make a brilliant day out of even what would on the face of it by the most boring stuff for a child.
Remember Ds being fascinated by museum artefacts
Wish they were that age again

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