to plan my day around food?

[CoralFish]

My mum was invited to her friend's, but it was unclear whether the invitation included dinner or was just for drinks (I have no idea why she couldn't just ask, but that's not the point of this thread!)

She asked her other friend, also invited if she knew, explaining that it was difficult to plan when she didn't know if she needed to plan for dinner, or if she should have a big lunch (they don't have takeaways or anything where they live) and friend number 2 thought it was hilarious that my mum plans meals into every day. Apparently this friend can go days just nibbling on crisps and nuts!!

I always plan my days around food! My mum and I thought this was totally normal. Her friend is obviously an extreme example, not eating a meal for days, but surely most people plan meals into their days??

So AIBU to plan my days around food?

I wouldn’t phrase it like I plan my day around meals, but if I was invited somewhere in the evening I would want to know if it included dinner and would change what I ate during the day accordingly.

It's normal.

Yes it’s normal.

I love food. My whole life is planned around food. I wake up thinking what I’m going to have for breakfast!

@Bagelsandbrie

I love food. My whole life is planned around food. I wake up thinking what I’m going to have for breakfast!

Yeah same 😳

It’s normal for us, although more so now we have children. Pre-children we were more flexible. Often missing meals and catching up later on in the day.

Yes it's totally normal to want to know if you will need dinner or not.your mum's friend has probably been eating like a bird her entire adult life where food isn't important is unusual.

Can’t say I do. Eat when I’m hungry and would maybe take a cereal/nut bar to eat in case there was no food.

I don't plan my days around food, but I generally have a routine that involves breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I can see why your mum is reluctant to ask if plans include dinner if her friends are the kind of people who survive on dust.

I don't think wanting to know if you will get to eat an evening meal is what idcall planning a day around food. Nice for your mums friend taht she can eat nuts and berries for days. For most people I'd say they need an evening meal. So would want to know if they were getting one or not.

In my experience people like your mums friend who can eat very little and not feel hunger or shakey are often very smug about it.

Can you not just ask and word it like 'hi, just wondering if I could bring any food as well as drinks? Wasn't sure if it was just an invitation for drinks only. Happy either way, just so I can plan.'

It's definitely normal. When I was in my 20's we were more flexible but now missing meals is a migraine trigger for both me (the extremely painful version) and DH (the lose his vision version) plus we have a toddler. We therefore plan carefully and have a never ending supply of snacks! To be honest I miss being able to be more flexible, but we still always had a rough plan.

Also I take some medication which I need to have with food otherwise I feel awful in my stomach. So I couldn't just tip up somewhere with no idea if I'd have access to food. I appreciate that's a unique circumstance but not hugely unusual.

I would just eat something when i got home if there was no food. I do find invitations usually soecify for a full on lunch or dinner etc and if nothing was mentioned I'd prob expect just drinks or nibbles at best. In that case id eat something small before i went, no big deal. Hate when people make drama out of food; i just eat when I'm hungry!

If I was your mum I would have a larger lunch and hope for the best.

Oh and could always take a packet of biscuits/cakes to share if really needing something i suppose.

Yes, I'm not sure I would use the phrase 'I plan my day around food' but I like to have 3 meals a day and struggle to adjust if social occasions present food at weird times (brunch, afternoon tea etc!)

I'm very much a breakfast, lunch & dinner person so I would need to know if a party involved food or not

Op i would suggest your Mum says to her friend 'looking forward to coming over, shall we order a pizza/takeout? That way it gives her friends opportunity to say 'yes/no making something.'

It's normal either way. I don't but I understand that people do

I would definitely want to know whether we would be eating, especially if drinks are involved. And I don't think that's weird.

@Popcornbetty

Op i would suggest your Mum says to her friend 'looking forward to coming over, shall we order a pizza/takeout? That way it gives her friends opportunity to say 'yes/no making something.'

I mean, yes, that would be a normal thing to do (although they don't really have delivery where they live, so not this specifically).

But my AIBU was really about what the other friend said, as it made us wonder if we were weird for planning around food as the norm.

Haha YANBU. I don't plan my day around food as such but I would want to know if an invitation included food and could then eat accordingly throughout the day. I do love food though, eating is the highlight of my day!

I wouldn't have thought it was normal until you have kids.

But on my own, I eat when I am hungry or when I get a chance, I don't plan the day around my food. Everyone around me take some kind of lunch break when they have a chance, it can be anytime from 11am if they are hungry to 4pm if they've been busy.

If I go shopping, I eat when I am finish, I don't stop at a set time for lunch.

It’s normal to want to know if dinner was inc or you should eat before hand, I’m not sure I’d define that as planning my day round food though.

I'd want to know whether an invitation was for dinner or just drinks but I wouldn't call that planning the day around food. If nothing was specified though I'd expect no food, eat a snack beforehand and make sure I had something quick to heat up when I got back like a pizza or some pasta sauce.