.. to completely cut her off?!

[shipwreckedd]

So. Long story short, I have had a nightmare of a day.

A group of us recently booked to go out somewhere in a week and a half. think clubbing but more on the crazy side! Throwing drinks / food, getting people up on stage etc etc. We have been a few years ago and it was a good, fun night socially - but not really my scene. I don't like clubbing and don't drink, so it didn't do much for me!

Fast forward to now, and we booked it again as a friend was desperate to go. I think I got kind of swept up in it all and decided to go ahead with it as everyone else wanted to go, too.

Just logged into Facebook this morning to see that the place we are going have just recently had a large covid outbreak, but they are claiming it's under control snd the event will still be going ahead.

Last time we went to this event, there was 2.5k people there. If isn't small! The more I thought about this the more anxious I got. I do have medicated anxiety.
I decided it isn't worth the risk, it's a covid hot spot and the people there are not going to be distancing. I will feel very uncomfortable going! So I decided to text the group to explain this.

Long story short, 'friend' has kicked off big time, calling me all the names under the sun, m flakey apparently for not wanting to go. I've explained that I feel anxious about it and that I know my limits when it comes to my anxiety. She's told me to man up, go and see what it's like.. but I've tried to explain to her that I really don't think I can. It's terrifying me.

This isn't the first time she's been this way. Completely rude and uncalled for, and I just can't take much more of it.

I suppose I'm asking - would I be unreasonable to cut her off now? I've absolutely had enough.

@SilverDragonfly1

Yep cut her off, I could’ve written this years ago. You don’t realise how exhausting it is being friends with people like that while trying to manage your anxiety. You’ll feel a huge weight has been lifted if you just cut ties.

You’re doing the right thing about the event, your friend sounds wreckless and a bit of a twat tbh.

The night sounds pretty awful to me anyway. Your 'friend' needs to mind her own business

She sounds awful and I would happily cut her off

The event sounds dreadful! 🤣

Yes withdraw from the friendship. She sounds like an absolute prick.

Blimey. Some of the responses on here re growing a backbone etc are just dreadful.

A friend is someone who cares about you and vice versa. Someone who accepts you as you are, who is enjoyable to be with, who respects you as a person, who would put themselves out for you, who is there when you need them, who laughs with you, who supports you through the hard times, all of that reciprocated by you, this person sounds like she has none of that. She's just a mouthy, rude person you know and have occasionally socialised with (and who is now swearing at you and judging you). Trust me, there are far better friends you can have.

Cut your losses and plan something else far better, without her.

@JHchristsendhalp

I've watched some bongos bingo videos and I'm convinced that's it, they throw food and get people up on stage, double ended dildos being flung all over the place, club music...

I went to Bongo’s Bingo recently. There was no food throwing. There was a double ended dildo though.

It was a great night!

I have just declined a special party when I found out over a hundred people have been invited. I couldn’t cope with that many. When I accepted I thought it would be a smaller gathering then it had to be cancelled as restrictions weren’t lifted and the rescheduled event is in a hall. I can’t take the risk.

Don’t go and put some space between you. A true friend would be concerned about you and be understanding. Plan a pamper evening for yourself at home.

She sounds a peach...

A real pal would be genuinely bothered about your welfare... Not having a strop cos you want to pull out for very valid reasons.

“I would rather adjust my life to your absence than adjust my boundaries to accommodate your disrespect”

Always this.

And the event sounds like a dumb ass idea right now.

Plus you don’t have to do what other people want you to do that makes you feel uncomfortable. You don’t need to even explain that. No is ok.