Anyone who knows me will recognise me from this post, but never mind.
Early disclaimer: I'm quite ambivalent about dogs in general. I also think a lot of people can be reckless when it comes to dogs around children (and vice versa), so that's my starting position here.
My parents have just "rescued" an approx 2yo dog from Eastern Europe (an entirely different issue, I won't start on that). The dog is a mixed breed, but massive. The height of a large german shepherd, but with a huge head and paws - she's clearly going to get bigger. Vet says she is around 15kg underweight, so she'll weigh over 50kg when up to ideal weight and condition. I have met this dog once and she was boisterous with bad manners (pushy and a bit mouthy).
My parents have owned a dog before but they are not experienced with large or challenging dogs. I think they're being exceptionally naive about the amount of input and maintenance this dog will require to ensure she is well trained and has good manners. I also do not believe they're genuinely prepared to make the sort of concessions I believe large dog breeds require (changes to their home and garden, a larger car, fewer options for backup dog care). They're in their early 60s and not physically strong, and I cannot possibly see how owning a 50kg, young dog is sustainable as they get older.
Initially, they acknowledged that the dog was unsuitable for them and were committed to finding her a new home. However, they seem to have totally fallen for her personality and now seem to be set on keeping her. Fine; they're adults, it's not my decision.
However, here's the crux: my two year old goes there once or twice a week while I work. This obviously is a huge help to me, but the arrangement is in large part to facilitate a relationship between my daughter and her GPs. Those days are really precious to them, and I'm loathe to put a stop to them. But I do NOT want this dog around my daughter, and I can't see that changing anytime soon. I dont trust them to supervise both appropriately, or to be consistent with this dog's training. It'll be a long time before I'd feel remotely comfortable leaving her there for the day with that dog, even if my parents insist they are kept separate. A large part of the problem is that I don't trust my parents to respect my boundaries on this, and I can well imagine them saying "the dog's fine, we can let them in together".
Worth noting that we are expecting another baby, so we've got another five years of having toddlers and very young children around.
My position on this is "if you keep the dog, I want her out of the house when our daughter visits or she isn't coming. The only people who I feel comfortable supervising the dog and the toddler are myself and my partner"
Other family members are making me feel terrible for drawing this "it's us or the dog" line, and I'm not sure I really care about their opinions on this. But for arguments sake, AIBU?