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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bill Splitter

163 replies

Queynte13 · 25/07/2021 12:28

AIBU to think that the person who suggests splitting a bill evenly is usually the person who benefits from it the most?

Went out for a meal last night. I was driving so I wasn't drinking. I've not been very well lately, which means I'm struggling to eat large amounts so I just had a starter and a side dish. Genuinely not a budgetary issue, I didn't even finish all my food.

The others at the table were drinking bottles of Prosecco and pints.

The bill comes and someone says "that's £30 each". Mine came to £10! This person was drinking and I noticed their portion of the bill was the highest out of everyone (others refused to split evenly in the end).

The worst bit was that everyone scarpered and the waitress returned to the table and told me the bill was short!

OP posts:
Winterfellismyhome · 25/07/2021 12:30

YANBU. When in a group, i always ask for a separate bill. Dont care if it looks stingy, im not paying for someone else's alcohol

Starjammer · 25/07/2021 12:31

We often roughly split the bill in our friends group but of course make allowances for people who haven't been drinking, didn't have a course, etc. Wouldn't dream of asking a non-drinker who didn't have much of a meal to pay the same!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 25/07/2021 12:33

Definitely in my experience. They are rarely splitting for anybody else's benefit although I'm not saying that it doesn't work for some people. Those who pay-their-own-way are always covering their bill. Always.

I'm not saying that all bill-splitters do it to get others to subsidise them but, it is only bill-splitters for whom this is possible. Some seem to be completely tone-deaf about others' 'light' ordering in their own greed.

Original poster
Queynte13 · 25/07/2021 12:34

I just felt so awkward. It was a celebration for a friend and this person was her friend, but not someone I'd met before. I didn't want to be that person so I just went along with it until someone else pointed out it wasn't fair.

She then had a face like a smacked arse when she had to pay her share.

OP posts:
ChocBeforeCock · 25/07/2021 12:36

Actually I always offer to split equally when I’ve not had much but suggest we don’t split equally when it’s clear someone has had less. I’m lucky to be able to afford to do so.

Your friends are piss takers!

OhNoNoNoNoNo · 25/07/2021 12:38

Why is asking to only pay for the food and drink you had being 'that person'
I'd have just said 'I didn't drink so I'm going to just pay for what I had'. You would have to be a weird person to find anything objectionable about that.

Sonarl · 25/07/2021 12:41

Tbh like a PP its the opposite for me. If it's suggested that we split evenly I normally just go along with it (since I am no longer on a budget, would have felt differently when money was tight) - even though this normally works out worse for me as I'm veggie (non meat dishes normally cost less, piss takers having massive steaks etc) and I don't drink wine (people ordering bottles and bottles). If I see someone else at the table who has not been drinking / only had starters / I know is on a tight budget - I would normally they pay less and everyone else pays a bit more to compensate.

Ultimately though, the trick is not to sit at a table with piss takers like your friends. There's always one isn't there?

woodhill · 25/07/2021 12:43

I would rather pay for what I had plus tip if I had no alcohol like you. I always have cash ready

LifesNotEnidBlyton · 25/07/2021 12:43

Bill splitting is a really odd thing to have ever started if you ask me. Everyone can buy their own food. Same with rounds in a pub, just buy your own! You buy what you want to buy, not invite yourself to treat yourself at your friends expense!

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 25/07/2021 12:45

Yes I've had this happen on occasion in the past, because I don't drink alcohol when eating out (can't stand how anything flavoured makes my food taste), and it's very annoying. But I'm very much at the "don't give a fuck" stage in life so I pipe up now and say "well I will pay £X because I was on water so Steve can you recalculate for everyone else". To some, this means I am a tight bastard Confused I even got called a tight fucker on MN once for paying only my portion of the meal instead of subsidising everyone else's Grin

However with one group of friends who I dine out with regularly I refuse to split the Bill precisely because I'm the only meat eater in the group, and I have a huge appetite so often have 2 or 3 courses, whereas my friends eat like birds. I don't think it's fair on that occasion to have them subsidise my meal. I wouldn't do that to them.

I really do wish everyone would just pay for what they had rather than this British/overly polite/terrified of being seen to be tight concept of Bill splitting. Is it really so much to ask that everyone just pays for what they had?

pinkcircustop · 25/07/2021 12:48

YANBU. I won’t split the bill as I don’t drink alcohol and I don’t agree with others doing so either, so there’s absolutely no way I’m helping fund that.

Gertie75 · 25/07/2021 12:50

Am I the only person who opened the thread to find out who Bill Splitter is?

OneTC · 25/07/2021 12:52

Me and my friends pretty much always split or take turns to pay. It pretty much all works out in the end. If someone wanted a separate bill it's no drama. There's a guy who comes sometimes and he doesn't drink like we do so he always asks for an individual bill

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit · 25/07/2021 12:53

I know a few well off people who split bills... I don't bother going! Fuck that, I'd be on edge all night. I'm not ordering a plate of pasta then paying for someone's fillet steak.

thecatsthecats · 25/07/2021 12:55

I usually jump in suggesting pay our own way, because I'm a greedy fucker with expensive tastes.

MySecretHistory · 25/07/2021 12:55

I never split a bill. I just go on the assumption I will be paying for it all.

Did you pay the shortfall?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 25/07/2021 12:55

I don't really understand the concept of the posters patting themselves on the back for paying more because they can afford it? That's really quite patronising given that people on a budget will know exactly what you're doing and why.

If you want to be magnanimous then why not just say upfront that you want to pay the bill or buy the wine/pudding for the table or whatever?

Obviously I have in mind my own dining partners - family, close friends - not usually colleagues - and I will mostly be happy to pay the whole bill. If I'm out with colleagues or mixed friends (some I know, some I don't) we just pay our own and there's no drama or bad feeling.

MySecretHistory · 25/07/2021 12:56

@Gertie75

Am I the only person who opened the thread to find out who Bill Splitter is?
It an app so I assumed a bit of promotion
x2boys · 25/07/2021 12:57

Yeah i always pay my share i do drink alcohol, so it would be good be incredibly unfair of me to suggest splitting the bill equally knowing some people e dont drin

Babysharkdoodoodood · 25/07/2021 12:58

I'd also be contacting everyone to say thanks for leaving me to pay the rest of the bill.

Noshowlomo · 25/07/2021 13:01

I haven’t eaten out in a group since before covid but when we did we’d split as we’d be eating roughly the same - one course and loads of cocktails.
But if I wasn’t drinking I wouldn’t be prepared to split a bill. I used to be a bit of a pushover when it come to stuff like that but now I’d have no problem saying nope ! Pay for your own ya tight buggers

burnoutbabe · 25/07/2021 13:03

I normally agree to just split it if a larger group as spending 30 mins at the end of a meal deciding who had what over 10 people is just a hassle.

But we generally do a "adjust up /down for non drinkers" - assuming non drinkers only had say 2 cokes and weren't ordered mock tails repeatedly.

(We're all older career women so it's not usually the case that soneone is broke and wanting one salad /tap water to everyone else's 3 courses.

Original poster
Queynte13 · 25/07/2021 13:03

I did pay the shortfall. It wasn't a lot but I literally just had enough in change to pay that plus a little bit extra, but not for a decent sized tip! I felt awful as the service was really good. I know some people put in extra to cover a tip so I've no idea who hadn't paid their full share. These aren't people I know well, apart from my friend.

I just hated the whole awkward end to a nice meal. I'm not mentioning it to my friend, but I think I'll avoid going back there for a while!

OP posts:
Birkie248 · 25/07/2021 13:05

This kind of thing makes me dread going out in a group. I’d much rather just pay for what I had -whether that’s more or less than everyone else.
I agree that you should contact the rest of the group to tell them that they were short, to avoid cats bum mouths when you say you’re not splitting next time!

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 25/07/2021 13:06

My friends and I always split. I cannot abide induvidual bills, it rarely adds up at the end and theres always money outstanding. I actually hate it so much that if im out with colleagues and then want to pay induvidually ill offer to pay at the end and just pay whatevers left, regardless if its more than ive had or not.