Anxiety… drinking and gossiping/hangover cure

[Mj20]

Hi all.
First time posting… please be kind…

I have suffered with anxiety quite severely in the past! Drinking too much would escalate my anxiety the next day as I’d be so worried about what I had said or done! As well as my mind racing I’d have physical symptoms of panic! All of this has contributed to me being very careful not to over do it with the booze!!! It would be worse if I was out in public or in a big group drinking so I avoid doing this if I am drinking.
My anxiety usually centred around being judged and what people think of me!

However… last night I drank too much and am struggling today.hadn’t planned to drink but I had a couple of wines with tea and started gossiping on the phone with a family member!! I then opened a bottle of Prosecco, carried on gossiping, drinking Prosecco and now feel very anxious that we were being unkind about other family members!!!
On top of the anxiety I feel really poorly (upset stomach/headache/sick etc)!

I know the answer is not to gossip and not to drink but what can I do in the hear and now to get rid of hangover/anxiety!!?

All advice/reassurance welcome! I feel like such a horrible hungover person I could cry!

*Here and now… not hear and now!!! 🤣

What treatment are you getting for the feelings of anxiety?

Ty for reply sarahlou63…
I’m not getting any treatment!
I was previously on meds and had therapy but I find now in my day to day life I can manage it… unless I get drunk… then it sets it back off 😭

You have The Fear.

It’s different from anxiety in that most of us get it after drinking. It will pass...

Is you anxiety normally under control now? If so you just need to ride this out I’m afraid but know we all understand. Chances are you’ve done absolutely nothing and even if you did the other person was half of the conversation so did it too...

Porridge is supposed to help, I've hears. No idea if that's just an old wives tale, though.

Guided meditation?

I think even people who don’t have anxiety feel anxious the next day. Rationalise your thoughts, your over thinking it all really. So worst case scenario you were negative about a family member so was the other person on the call. Why don’t you give them a ring today and just say you had been drinking, were you talking about what did we say etc.
When your hangover gets better so will your racing mind and panic. Get something decent to eat and drink loads and have a nap if you can.
You will feel better soon, remember you can control your thoughts xx

Hangxiety- definitely separate to usual anxiety!

Can you maybe text or ring the family member with the old "god I can't remember last night" and try and find out what was said?

@Mj20

Ty for reply sarahlou63… I’m not getting any treatment! I was previously on meds and had therapy but I find now in my day to day life I can manage it… unless I get drunk… then it sets it back off 😭

So, the obvious solution is not to drink! Alcohol simply doesn't suit some people (the vast majority of MNer's have a small sherry once in a decade if they are to be believed!) and you're one of them. If anyone questions you, you can either lie and say you're on AB's or - far better - just tell them that you don't enjoy it.

You need to stabilise your blood sugar, go for a 20m walk, have a cooked breakfast, some fruit, lots of fluid, do some chores, have a pamper bath and go back to sleep, if you are up again watch comedy to release endorphins. That was my go to hangover cure back in the day! Basically slowly keep busy until the day is over. If it were now I would probably have an audiobook running all day.

Thank you so much to everyone that’s taken the time to reply. I’m really grateful.
All the comments are very valid and helpful.

I would say my anxiety is mostly under control. I have to work on it (sleep well, excercise etc etc) so agree that it’s “the fear” but it’s soooo horrible I literally feel like my anxiety disorder has returned!!!

So I remember the conversation (mostly)!! Both of us were drinking… both of us were saying things but also just chatting a lot of rubbish! I’ve cried to my DH that I’m two faced and horrible and he’s told me it’s no big deal but it certainly feels it right now! I just feel like I’ve let myself down by being gossipy and mean! Had I not been drunk I’d of been more careful with what I said

I keep reminding myself that I was one half of the convo but it’s not helping to calm me :(

This is such a kind message- thank you!!! I’ve drank lots of water and I’m building up to having a hot shower. Trying to remind myself this will pass xx

Beer fear is normal. The family member you were gossiping with was doing it to so is unlikely to go around telling everyone what you said 🤷‍♀️

Get a McDonald's down you and lie on the sofa watching some shit films and you'll be fine tomorrow.

I’m waiting for food shop to be delivered so I can have something healthy/wholesome… porridge is a good call actually!!

Make no decisions and no judgements until tomorrow.

You are not a horrible person, neither is your fellow gossip. It will all be fine.

For now just make some herbal tea and get some air. Can you snooze in front of a window or in the garden? Listen to a podcast or watch something funny. Give yourself a break from your own thoughts.

I think the problem is I can remember the conversation :(

That’s lots of great advice thank you so much xx

I totally agree it doesn’t suit me! At the time I’m fine- albeit drunk but the next day seems so much worse than what other I know experience :(

Make no decisions indeed…

I wrote out a long msg to fellow gossip saying how bad I felt, regret what I said, etc etc but Diddnt send and instead just messages saying I felt bloody awful from the Prosecco.
She had actually msgd me late last night saying it was so lovely to catch up so at least I don’t have to worry she thinks I’m horrible :(

If alcohol makes you more anxious, you know what the obvious answer is.

Everyone has said things that they really don't mean or at least don't mean to discuss when they've had too much to drink and you now have the beer fear.

I have such a weird need to confess to everyone how horrible I’ve been? Is this normal with anxiety/the fear???

My dh calls this 'a bad case of the awnaws'. We are Scottish so it means 'oh no'. Agree with some form of carbohydrate and fat plus distraction like McD and shit film as pp suggested. Plus self care and basic mindfulness- try to let the thoughts pass and don't focus, analyse or ruminate. That won't help you today and you know it, so put it to the side. You will be fine.

@Mj20

I have such a weird need to confess to everyone how horrible I’ve been? Is this normal with anxiety/the fear???

I guess you want to unburden yourself of the anxiety - face the threat you think you have created. But I wouldn't personally as likely to create drama where there probably is none.

I did similar last night and had the fear too, I rarely drink anymore too!
I woke up and phoned my friend I was out gossiping with and we both agreed we’d said too much, had a bit of laugh at our gossipyness and now I plan to keep busy for the rest of the day.
I’m not sure why but it helped being in contact with my friend the night before and acknowledging I/we both felt a bit guilty and now I can move on with the day. Are you able to do similar if you think it would help the fear?

I think what’s making it worse is a lack of sleep… I never sleep well after drinking so I was up at 6 and know I won’t be able to sleep if I try!
I just feel so two faced I can’t stop obsessing about it!!! I guess in this scenario with the anxiety being caused by a hangover if I wasn’t worrying about this I’d find something else :(