To think being tickled is torture

[gamechanging]

Pretty much every friend I have asked hates being tickled, even those who laugh a lot when being tickled! They'll say, "I laugh because I can't help it, but I actually hate it."

Then I started thinking about how much I tickle my kids (every day!) under the impression that they love it. My 2yo will repeatedly get me to do "Round and Round the Garden" to her and every time I get to "tickle you under there!" she cracks up, and almost immediately says, "Again!"

But, I remember being tickled as a kid (around 6yo) by my uncle and I suppose I must have been laughing for him to continually do it, but I hated it (my siblings say the same). However, I never told him then and would be mortified to tell him now because I genuinely think he thought we loved it.

So, I'm wondering if any of you can remember being tickled as a kid and loving it? If so, do you still love it as an adult? And, if not, at roughly what age did you go from loving it to hating it?

Here's my unreasonable bit:

YABU - If a kid is laughing and instigating it, they like it. Carry on; stop overthinking it...

YANBU - Laughing is a reflex to being tickled. Adults hate it and kids hate it: stop tickling your kids!

I hated being tickled by my dad, I wasn’t a kid that liked rough play and it was rough. I’ve never tickled my kids and until I read this thread I hadn’t thought about it.

for me..

Tickling was not fun

it is used to bully and torture .. 🌸

It sounds like your child likes being tickled, so that's fine. But yeah, definitely not for everyone. I hate being tickled. If someone tickles my feet, I find it physically painful. Like knives. It's hideous.

I personally don't like being tickled. However, I do/did tickle my kids as they enjoyed it in small doses

The key, imo, is to be child led. Look for and respond to the child's real cues. We had a phrase that they would say when they really meant stop! rather than the laughing, not quite sure if I like this or not.

I'd never tickle if not wanted - it's just a form of abuse imo.

When I was little my dad used to sit on me and hold my hands together with one hand and tickle me with the other. He'd do it until I couldn't breathe. Stop then do it again. I absolutely hated it with a passion. I definitely never said 'again'. I felt trapped, helpless and powerless. But in hindsight I think my dad knew that and that's why he did it, because he enjoyed having some sort of sick power over me.

But yes I do round and round the garden occasionally with my daughter. But I only tickle as long as it takes to say 'tickle you under there' and I never hold her or restrain her in anyway so she can move away if she wants.

I hate being tickle and I think the laughing is a reflex not enjoyment

I think a brief tickle might be ok but not like some people do for ages not knowing whether the child is enjoying it

If someone tickles me I can't be held responsible for my actions in defending myself.

Expect a punch or a kick if you tickle me, as I hate being tickled.

I hate being tickled, and did one time catch a friend tickling my daughter and she was saying "stop!" I immediately told her not to tickle her as she was clearly not enjoying it. We aren't friends anymore for various reasons but that left me feeling really weird.

I don't tickle anyone, and wouldn't want anyone to tickle me. It's not comfortable, and often times the laughter is an involuntary response to a sensory overload.

I loved it as a child. Obviously it's something that's pleasurable only up to a point so there has to be a limit.
Since teen years nobody has tickled me unfortunately.

DD asks constantly for it even now that she's 10. I always stop when she says stop even if she asks again 2 seconds later.

I think it's ok with someone who you know well (to see past the laughter or going along with it to keep you happy) but errr on the side of caution with anyone else, including children.

I hate it so much. My dad used to tickle me loads and I always felt like I couldn't breathe. He thought I loved it but I do remember crying about it when he wouldn't stop. He's such a lovely and loving dad though so there was no malice in it. He just didn't realise I hated it.

DH tickles me sometimes but less these days because I do tell him to fuck off. I still feel like I can't breathe and I hate it. He tickles our son who seems to love it and squeals happily, but there are times when I can't help myself and I have to ask him to stop because the squeals start to sound a bit upset. I'm quite sensitive about it though because I wouldn't want him to feel trapped in a tickle (although it does sound a bit funny ).

It depends. Tickling in quick spurts can be funny and a bit like going round the loop of a rollercoaster: quick, exhilarating, and fun.
Anything beyond that is torture.
I have to admit, I never tickled my kids much. I’m more in the ‘it’s not fun’ camp, if I’m honest.

I hate being tickled, It used to send me to tears as a child/teen when the person wouldn't stop. My 2.5 year old likes it but I do go easy on him and just tickle for a short time in case it's too much

I hate it and feel really uncomfortable even seeing someone do it

It depends.
One of mine would say "stop it, stop it..." but as soon as you stopped. "Do it again!"
One of the others hated it, so I never tickled them as soon as I realised.

It is an odd one though. I can switch being ticklish off to a certain extent, which is a very useful talent to have.

I think it depends. My oldest loves it and will ask again and again, she seems to like the feeling. I tend to do it in short bursts though and on the odd occasion she says stop I always do.

I always hated being tickled as a kid, but I was a victim of sexual abuse and I associated tickling with being completely powerless and not being able to say no.

I’ve since learned that it isn’t always negative, though; my DD2 (9) really loves it and does say, ‘Again’.

So I wouldn’t say that it is torture necessarily, but it absolutely can be if the recipient doesn’t want it and the tickler refuses to respect that.

I LOVE being tickled, especially my feet absolutely bliss. Nice tickling though not in tormenty way.

My step dad used to tickle me till I was screaming and negging him to stop as an it nearly always led to me crying and wetting myself. I would then be told off for being mardy, spoilsport who was dirty feline wetting . He also used to poke me in my sides and squeeze my knee

It does have a very visceral reaction now and in the past I have turned round and thumped someone reactively.