Mixing with deprived children?

[Thisneedsachange]

I’ve changed my name for this but long term mumsnetter. I had a very sheltered but working class background, but mum was a social worker so I was sent to holiday clubs where she was working - with children from very deprived backgrounds and on child protection plans. My life experiences changed when I got a scholarship to private school and it’s been a middle class bubble since then - but I think those early exposures to how tough life can be for some gas the making of me. It’s made me more compassionate, more politically aware and I’ve volunteered since a teen working with deprived children.
My own 5 year old daughter has a very sheltered existence and so I’m thinking of sending her to a free church holiday club at the church I grew up with for a week this summer. It’s free because it’s a very deprived ward. We do have one friend who will go so she will be fine. As a child some things I was exposed to in these schemes aimed at deprived children really shocked me - bad language, bad behaviour, unhappy families..but by my teens I understood what was going on.
Am I unwise to consider this?
I contribute to the funds (although we don’t worship there as not Christian) so not concerned about taking financial advantage, just wondering if I should wait until my daughter is older to have these experiences?

[godmum56]

yeah that is plain weird. Around 15 years ago, a mate of mine at work came in one day and said "Is this weird?' about a similar thing...her DD's middle class primary school was takeing her year to visit an inner city primary in a deprived area as part of social studies or whatever they called it then...in the end she spoke to the school about it...because she said it felt like it was on a par with a zoo visit "today class we are going to see the poor children" and I belive the program was stopped.

[CremeEggThief]

I'm more concerned that 26% voted YANBU!

[MistyFrequencies]

This has to be a wind up. If not, have a re read and then think about why your plan to take your child on a poverty safari is utterly, utterly dehumanizing to those kids she would be using as learning specimens.

[PicsInRed]

So you'll take a space from a deprived child so your privileged child can experience deprived children.

I don't think you learned what you think you did.

[NomadMum]

Don’t take the place away from a child who actually needs it

[chestnutshell]

Good grief

[Pinkandwrinkly]

@Hoppinggreen

“deprived” children are not a learning experience for your child.

The 'less fortunate' in your eyes, are fellow members of the human race.
We all deserve to not be used as an experimental exercise to enlighten others.

[Bagamoyo1]

A lot of people with big chips on their shoulders here! OP isn’t being patronising, or thinking she’s better than other people. She herself came from a working class background, but was lucky enough to get a scholarship to a posh school, and now has a different lifestyle from that in which she grew up. She’s wondering if her daughter should learn about how life is for others. There’s nothing wrong with this.

That said OP, I wouldn’t send her. As others have said, it may be taking a place from a child who needs it. And also she’s too young to need educating. Plenty of time when she’s older for her to learn that life isn’t a bed of roses for many people.

[alittlebitdemented]

Donate to a food bank and take the donations there yourselves. That will be an eye opener while also doing some good.

[JSL52]

[Rocketearth]

Another troll thread this evening, as how can anyone have so little self-awareness of their attitudes?

[User5827372728]

You could then send her to a local church who’s congregation are mainly black for her next education?

[JSL52]

Is this some sort of joke?

[Pebbledashery]

Sounds like an uncomfortable and weird social experiment.

[Thisneedsachange]

Obviously a big no then.
I won’t be taking a space from a child who needs it - whilst I don’t worship at this church I volunteer with their children’s outreach and so I know the take up is quite low. I do take my daughter to volunteer with me on other projects but wasn’t planning to volunteer on this one because its discouraged to volunteer on projects your children are attending as it’s unfair on the other children.
I spend a lot of time volunteering for children’s social justice projects - didn’t realise I come across as so cringingly patronising so at least this thread has made me aware of that, thanks all

[scully29]

I would say much more long term effective if you want to ensure your dd doesnt live in middle class bubble and grow up a tory to honestly befriend people outside of your bubble and have play dates and proper friendships as a norm, rather than a week thing. A week is like doing a township tour it really is, it just sounds very spectator. I see you currently volunteer with children so do you not already have friends there you could invite over?

[RaginaPhalange]

You can't be serious??
Clearly the club is there for parents who NEED it so no show some sense ffs. Very very patronising.

[Bagamoyo1]

For those who are ranting - there’s nothing “experimental” about learning about how other people live. It’s important for all of us to have some knowledge of the challenges faced by our fellow human beings. It helps develop empathy, and makes us a more civilised society.

[Iwastheparanoidex]

You are not some Victorian philanthropist or benefactor.

Wise up.

[Hallyup6]

Your child is 5 so she won't know the difference between a 'deprived' child and herself. She'll just see other kids to play with, so your idea of it being a learning opportunity is completely flawed.

As others have said, please don't take a place away from a child who needs it. Perhaps you could do something different with your daughter, like give some of her toys or clothes to charity, or raise some money to support organisations like the church? That would be a much more meaningful learning experience for her.

[MichelleScarn]

Everybody! 🎵Never live like common people
Never do what common people do
Never fail like common people🎵

[Thelnebriati]

We aren't zoo animals to be gawped at. We aren't your therapist. We don't exist to provide you with validation or an experience. And the amount of volunteering you do doesn't make this ok.

[Hellocatshome]

For those who are ranting - there’s nothing “experimental” about learning about how other people live. It’s important for all of us to have some knowledge of the challenges faced by our fellow human beings. It helps develop empathy, and makes us a more civilised society.

Yes but a 5 year old going to a holiday club with other 5 year olds is not teaching anyone anything. She will probably just have a lovely time and learn nothing abiut the hardships those 5 year olds are facing.

[Franklyfrost]

You sound like you’re planning an educational trip to the zoo. Get a grip.

[AgnesNaismith]

Not nice OP. Children who have difficult upbringings aren’t here to ensure balanced empathy levels for those more fortunate.