Mixing with deprived children?

[Thisneedsachange]

I’ve changed my name for this but long term mumsnetter. I had a very sheltered but working class background, but mum was a social worker so I was sent to holiday clubs where she was working - with children from very deprived backgrounds and on child protection plans. My life experiences changed when I got a scholarship to private school and it’s been a middle class bubble since then - but I think those early exposures to how tough life can be for some gas the making of me. It’s made me more compassionate, more politically aware and I’ve volunteered since a teen working with deprived children.
My own 5 year old daughter has a very sheltered existence and so I’m thinking of sending her to a free church holiday club at the church I grew up with for a week this summer. It’s free because it’s a very deprived ward. We do have one friend who will go so she will be fine. As a child some things I was exposed to in these schemes aimed at deprived children really shocked me - bad language, bad behaviour, unhappy families..but by my teens I understood what was going on.
Am I unwise to consider this?
I contribute to the funds (although we don’t worship there as not Christian) so not concerned about taking financial advantage, just wondering if I should wait until my daughter is older to have these experiences?

[NavigationCentral]

Bloody fucking hell. What have I just read. It’s the school holidays but this OP is making me sick.

[Littlelegs2]

My family would be classed as deprived. Me/my family have been through alot. Some are lucky to have had a good education some not so lucky. But we fight it and carry on 💪. We are strong and do not need your pity. As others have said don't take that place from a child that needs it.

[Throwntothewolves]

FourTeaFallOut I was just going to say there's something very 'Common People' about this post.

OP don't do that, there are others who need the spaces, you don't. If your child wants to learn about different backgrounds perhaps she can volunteer when she's older and at least that way she's giving something back.

And by the way, as you should know from your own experience, not all of the children who attend these clubs are from 'deprived backgrounds on child protection plans'. My DS was given a space one summer as we were going through a really difficult time as a family, it gave him some time out to have fun with kids his age. He has often asked to go back, but we can't access it now as others are in greater need. I can assure you he is very much not deprived or on a child protection plan.

[youshallnotpass9]

You just had another thread deleted by any chance?

[Onairjunkie]

You’re such a good person because you were exposed to filthy little poor children while at private school? Go you. You just want to help them. Without you, a wonderful, glowing, aspirational angel, their lives are all nicotine-stained misery and canned pies.

[Noterook]

@shouldistop

Deprived children aren't there to educate your child. Your post has made me feel quite uncomfortable actually.

Yes, this. There are plenty of ways for a child to learn compassion, empathy and hope for a more equal society without sending them somewhere just so they mingle with those you see as beneath her.

[MaskingForIt]

I wouldn’t, OP. You don’t want your child mixing with the horrors and learning their crazy low down ways.

[chunderwunder]

I'm guessing the OP won't be committed enough to her social experiment to actually send her kid to the local state school.

[Port1aCastis]

@youshallnotpass9

You just had another thread deleted by any chance?

Oh really?

[Theworldspinsonmyhead]

Honest to goodness. Living in London this is why my son has never had a place at any schemes.

He gets FSM and has an EHCP - the one place he already knows staff and would feel comfortable is full. Most of those are people who attend the free weekly sessions and are middle class to wel off families who are filling their summer with activities and could easily have paid.

For the first time my son has secured a week at a sports camp but will likely only manage an hour a day rather than the 5.

You know it's not a zoo right?

[MichelleScarn]

She'll never fail like common people, and watch her life slide out of view, cos if she calls her mum you will stop it all....

Oh behave op!! If you were as Lady Bountiful as you think you are you wouldn't take a much needed space. Is there not a criteria for this fantastic sounding club?

[Miniestelle]

Well that was an uncomfortable read. Self congratulating and patronising. No do not do this. These children do not exist to educate your dd. Then you pick her up and ask her what she learnt from them that day like it's a trip to the zoo, then a bit of added 'Phew, aren't we so lucky we aren't them, get the houmous out'

[Tealightsandd]

If you want her to mix with children who might need support from social services or child protection plans, there's no need to do anything. Abuse (of all kinds) happens in middle class families too. Albeit often more hidden - in part thanks to preconceived misconceptions and prejudiced stereotypes about 'class', income, and deprivation.

[Ibleedibreedibreaatfeed]

Jeeps. Honestly this is is peak Mumsnet taking the piss. Those children are not there for your child to learn about poverty 😠. Teach your child compassion, understanding not sending them off to a " poverty zoo" 🙄

[GoldBar]

Bizarre idea. She is unlikely to notice any differences between her and the other children. In any case, children that age are only capable of limited empathy and rationalisation so even if she does come across things which upset her, what lesson are you hoping she gains from this?

[JimHairy]

Clearly it taught you absolutely nothing - you appear to think poverty is a spectator sport rather than actually having any real understanding of it.

If you want to teach your kid compassion, have these conversations when situations arise naturally to prompt them, don’t engineer a poverty safari for your 5 year old ffs. Quite apart from anything else, there’s no guarantee your 5 year old would react the same way you did. Much better to have guided conversations with her rather than shipping her off to experience it herself. Why not take her on some of your volunteer work?

[Bbq1]

I don't think Op is genuine because she hasn't responded to any of the comments.

[Highfive2021]

‘’ and they burn so bright and you can only wonder why ‘’ 🎶🎶🎶

[fancyfrogs]

I get your intentions but that's just weird and patronising

[GulliBelle]

That's nice dear.

[Willwebebuyingnumber11]

It clearly taught you fuck all about being a decent human so I wouldn’t bother OP.

[Tealightsandd]

preconceived misconceptions and prejudiced stereotypes about 'class', income, and deprivation.

Which happens just as often as inverse snobbery/ignorance, as it does from so called middle class groups.

There's also an awful lot of hidden poverty amongst people others might consider middle class, purely by accent, region, or educational background. Genteel poverty, it used to be called.

[SpeckledlyHen]

@Crabbitcrab

It's a free club for those who need it not a petting zoo for mc children

This

[Port1aCastis]

Sing along with the common people
Sing along and it might just get you through
Laugh along with the common people
Laugh along, even though they're, they're laughing at you
And the stupid things that you do
Because you think that poor is cool. 🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

Jarvis nailed it