AIBU to think some people are precious and quite self indulged about their birthdays?

[ItsAllGettingReallyTediousNow]

I’ve never understood why some adults get very upset when their birthday is not acknowledged on a carnival level. I’d be upset if my parents, DH or DC forgot or my siblings didn’t send me a card, but that’s it. I’ve seen some real diva behaviour surrounding birthdays.

For example, my SIL once had a massive strop and banned my MIL from visiting us around her birthday as she wouldn’t be there for hers. She’s a middle age woman. That meant MIL wasn’t invited to my DC’s birthday parties when they were young as their birthdays are days apart and PIL would have had to stay over.

A few months ago my friend announced on SM that birthdays are so important and that she was throwing a big 50th bash and we all had to come to her party and stay the weekend. She didn’t even acknowledge mine, despite others on SM doing so and so I reckon she had turned off my notifications. I said something along the lines of, “yes I know, was my 50th back in March”, and she’s not contacted me since as obviously it was a pop at her.

Finally, the worst one is my MIL. For her birthday she expects weekends away, joint holidays, days out at least, a present and a massive fuss. She expects phone call after phone call acknowledging her birthday from extended family. However when it comes to her own DH, DC or DGC, she does nothing. I’ve rarely had a card off her, never a present. I used to indulge her, thinking she’d catch on that this works both ways, but it didn’t, so I stopped indulging her and she takes massive offence from the perceived slight.

So, what is it about some people that they think their birthdays are really special, but no one else’s are? AIBU?

I love my birthday and I always make it a day to treat myself. BUT I do the same for friends and family!!

Lol my husband’s family are like this!

Three day birthday because ‘everyone will want to see them!!!’

Completely agree! Can’t stand fully grown adults at work giving the big run up and constantly chatting about their birthday coming up. Then the inevitable card and collection does the rounds, it is so self indulgent and cringe worthy!

Can't believe the strop folk get into over birthdays. I dont bother much except immediate family. Unless you're over ninety or under five.

My husband always celebrates mine in a big way, but when it comes to his he only wants a low key thing. We do celebrate midway through the month as our birthdays are at each end of the same month ,usually a day out with a nice meal or two. We do the same for our wedding anniversary. I don't think I'd ever be precious about it though.

I love celebrating birthdays! Cake and ice cream, a nice meal out,gifts. I guess when you've survived cancer celebrations mean more

Agree I had a mate like that - day after day of celebrations, me me me and FB posts. I so cannot be bothered with having a birthday

@Highfive2021

I voted YANBU however it sounds a bit like you are jealous of the attention other people get and that you don’t, you have related all examples back to your own birthday.

Where on earth did you get that from?! Are you a birthday drama llama diva too?

I dont really expect anyone except DH to acknowledge my birthday (even DP forget and my siblings arent card/gift people) but damn right I expect him too lol.

I also would love a weekend away for my birthday it doesnt seem odd so no idea why your calling MIL out for that (although the phonecalls sound like a nightmare). weekends away is what we do for the kids birthdays and what my parents did for me and my siblings - I would actually prefer a quiet weekend away with DH and kids to gifts, cards and facebook messages from loads of people.

I dont think the 50th birthday one is fair either - 50 is a HUGE birthday milestone and she was physically throwing a party, not remotely comparable to a wall post on facebook (and yes lots of people turn of birthday notifications, especially if they are not on SM daily otherwise you get the 'well you posted something for X birthday but not for Ys birthday' crap).

I would say if you put in the effort to actually do something and invited her to your birthday party and she didnt come fine but not being upset about not recieving a GIF because someone wasnt on SM that day and then comparing it is insane - she hosted you didnt.

I don't think the issue is celebrating the event but I work with grown women who have birthday weeks and it's unbelievably self indulgent and a tad thoughtless for the individuals who either don't even have their birthdays recognised or who are struggling to survive. Some of these birthday weeks include seperate from the family foreign holidays with mates ffs

Christ, I don't care for birthdays or Christmas. It's a load of faff I can do without.

I think it’s a bit odd. I’m more for low key stuff or an excuse to see people you haven’t seen in a long time - like a nice relaxed social event. Sounds a lot of effort for all the other stuff.

I had a friend like this once. She would spend weeks reminding everyone under the sun that it was her 'birthday week' (!!) and she was celebrating with a party on one day; Friday lunch at the pub with work colleagues; having an evening meal out Sunday lunch with family another day (because "My family is important to me"); evening in the pub; pizza night in with the girls; the lot. Half the town would be invited to one event or another, and woe betide anyone who didn't buy her a present and a card. She made sure that everybody knew it was her birthday, and depending on how high up the friend hierarchy you were ("I choose my friends carefully"), you got an invitation to whichever event was befitting of your station in the pecking order.

Thinking about it reminds me of why I decided I didn't want to be friends with her any more.

I'm amazed at how many adults on here swap presents with friends for birthdays (thread usually goes, "I get her great presents, she doesn't bother/gets me crap ones," etc.) Adult presents here are just for immediate family - and that means offspring and parents, we did no-present-truces with siblings long ago, for Christmas as well as birthdays. With one exception, we don't swap birthday cards with friends either.

I like to go out for my birthday (again, immediate family) - no one else in the family is bothered about going out for theirs. I often pick an outing as a treat from DH rather than a present.

My ex best friend once cried because I didn’t acknowledge her Birthday, I was Nursing my Terminally I’ll dad at the time, it was just two weeks before he died, so you can imagine where my priorities were at the time.

@caughtinanet

I agree, some people are ridiculously precious about their birthdays but I'm not in the slightest bit jealous. I have no interest in OTT celebrations, why would that make me jealous?

On MN the only reason for objecting to the way other people do things is jealously. Can't be anything else. Didn't you get the memo?