Do mums relax on holiday?

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I don’t. My kids are two & seven, & I can honestly say I spend the first 3 days of a holiday stressed out my head, sleep deprived, eternally anxious because I can’t find anything, the toddler has learnt how to escape from his bed & won’t settle, both kids are manic because they’re overstimulated - the routine’s gone out the window, the fucking weather is either too hot, too rainy to do what we’d planned or like last night, thunderstorms FFS.

I seem to worry so much about everything, I can’t relax at all. Everyone else seems like they’re enjoying themselves!!! I dread holidays TBH, I’m always quite relieved to get back home, where I for one, feel more relaxed.

What about others?

Do you have a partner or husband?

In short, no, not when my children were little

It never felt like a holiday, in the sense of relaxing and getting away from it all.

It was really just a change of scene

Sure, when they were little I would tag team with dp so we each had time "not on duty".

Appreciate it is different if you are a single parent.

Not sommuch when mine were that young. They are now 9 and 14 and, yes I get to relax now!

i am always absolutely knackered at the end of our holidays. I do enjoy some parts but with small kids you're just changing environment and all the work still has to be done. My youngest two are six now so it has gotten a bit easier every year, but relaxing? Not at all

Hard to fully relax with a toddler at any time, but it gets much easier as they get older.

I’ve only been on holiday with 1 but DH and I took turns to have time to ourselves and went to a child friendly place so yes. It’s not the same as always relaxing.

Mine are older now but we took the in laws which helped and meant we got date night. I never sleep the first few nights (and then I’m wrecked).

I do! But then we plan our holidays to make life easy for us as a family, rather than trying to do the sorts of more exotic holidays we appreciated as adults pre children.

Eg - a week at centre parcs. We can stick to usual routines, everything is child friendly, it doesnt involve a horrific day of travelling, and we aren't relying on perfect weather.

We are also having a week in self catered in the south west. Beach, again no disruption of routine, bit of a car journey but travel isnt awful. We'll have some cafe lunches, eat ice creams, visit a local castle, go on a boat ride etc.

It's probably not everyone's cup of tea but we all enjoy ourselves
(Kids are 4.5 & 2).

I do. I have a husband and the children therefore have another parent.

I honestly do think holidays, and your enjoyment of them, is a bit of a mindset thing.

Why is a thunderstorm in the night a problem?

Nope. Same shit in a different location.

Not when they were little. Once remember crying in the shower we were all stuffed (two babies under 16 months) in a hot hotel room and came home the next morning. The next holiday ds had a lot of tantrums and dh and I were not getting on as well as now (both a bit sleep deprived looking back - nothing serious)

Now dc are older. Have tablets so we can chill over wine in the evening and we book a house or air bnb which is far better.

I recently went on holiday with 1 year and 4 year old; it wasn’t so much a holiday in terms of being able to relax as wr still kept to their routine but DH and I took it in turns to have a lie in, I didn’t worry so much about more treats than normal and I drank wine every night (normally I try not to in the week) and I didn’t worry about cleaning or laundry. So in that respect it was a break snd lovely for the kids to have new experiences

It is difficult with a toddler. Make sure you get some relaxing time if you have a partner or another adult.
Once their 4 its easier.

I also made sure that DH did his fair share compared to mostly solo parenting at home while he’s at work

Not when they’re toddlers! My first solo abroad holiday they were - I think - 8 and 13, and yes I did relax. They could both swim, which took some pressure off from a safety perspective, we did all inclusive, so I wasn’t worried about budgeting for food and drinks, and it was lovely.

No! 2 of my dcs have autism and the transition for them is very stressful for all of us. We tend to go for 2 night stays in hotels as they manage that better, rather than a whole week.

As parents to a toddler the only time we relax on holiday is when he’s asleep.

That goes for both of us. Parents don’t relax on holiday imo while with small children when they’re awake. But everyone has different ideas of ‘relax’. It’s enjoyable, because we love spending time with him. But you don’t take your eye off the ball or sit down for a nice long rest with a toddler around!

If you believe it’s just mums who don’t relax and not dads and you’re not a single parent then there’s something very wrong in your relationship.

No it was always stressful, just the same shit (but more work) in different scenery. It was still good to get away though.
Now they're older it's easier!

Now I do because they are older - 12 and 7 - even though I’m a single parent.

When they were really little not really - even though I had a husband then, but he was useless.

We went away at Easter and I saw all these people with toddlers and pre school and just thought “god that was me once! And now I can just sit here without worrying”. It gets better!

The problem is expecting routines to be the same as at home. They aren't, but so what? If the kids eat chips and ice cream for a week, so what?

What happens if the toddler gets out of bed? Let them have some milk and biscuits, and watch the TV on low.

Don't plan too much, it is a holiday, just let it happen. write al activities on slips of paper, stick in jar. Every day, someone gets to pick one. noone will twig that every other one in there is just stuff you want to do eg 20 go to the beach, 1 go on the miniature train

Agree with pp that it's all about picking a trip that makes things as easy as possible.
We stayed in self catering cottages and took grandparents for a few years so there were many hands to do any jobs eg making sandwiches, breakfast, washing up. We mostly ate out but at lunchtime and then were in for the evening. Took it in turns to go out for a drink at night.
Cottage had tv and games. Took kids to cheap crap shop on first day to buy colouring books, felt pens stickers etc. Tried to plan days out to knacker the kids out so they went to bed reasonably easily.
It wasn't loads of relaxation but it was nice to get a break from housework, stay in a really nice house, walk on the beach etc.
It won't always be like this op, hang in there

Yes. I used to think it was same shot, different place but my over riding memory is of DP and I sitting at the end of the day, kids all asleep and sharing a bottle of wine so it can't have been all bad :)

I’m a solo parent to a 4 year old and have taken him away a number of times and whilst not the same as before I was a parent, I still find it fun and relaxing in the sense that it’s a break from the day today slog at home. Always getting itchy feet to plan the next trip.

It probably depends on expectations and type of holidays you had before, and I appreciate I might feel differently if I had more than one young child.

🤣🤣🤣

No.