Do mums relax on holiday?

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I don’t. My kids are two & seven, & I can honestly say I spend the first 3 days of a holiday stressed out my head, sleep deprived, eternally anxious because I can’t find anything, the toddler has learnt how to escape from his bed & won’t settle, both kids are manic because they’re overstimulated - the routine’s gone out the window, the fucking weather is either too hot, too rainy to do what we’d planned or like last night, thunderstorms FFS.

I seem to worry so much about everything, I can’t relax at all. Everyone else seems like they’re enjoying themselves!!! I dread holidays TBH, I’m always quite relieved to get back home, where I for one, feel more relaxed.

What about others?

We usually camp (we're on our way right now) and it's bloody hard work. I love it, but do get home completely knackered.

The only truly relaxing holiday we've had with the kids is when we went to Greece all inclusive a couple of years ago.

Not really. And even if you do there’s a pile of laundry to do when you get home. And unpacking. Etc

Parenting is hard work!

Only if I go on my own

Never bothered going away under school age as they wouldn’t remember it and not very relaxing for either of us. We stuck to dats out instead.

I always relaxed on holiday, even with small dc, but I can see that it might be really stressful as a single parent.

I also have a 7 year old and a 2 year old. With DC1 I don't think I was able to properly relax and enjoy a holiday until they were about 4. There were nice moments, sure but it never really felt like a break. If anything it's more work than being at home because you don't have the convenience of having all your stuff around you and depending on where you go accomodation may not be 'childproof' and so you have to be more vigilant. The last couple of holidays we had with DC1 before DC2 came along were lovely though and I genuinely felt relaxed, so I'm looking forward to when DC2 hits that stage in the next couple of years. With a toddler though, it's not going to be relaxing and if you expect that you'll probably be disappointed. So I just tell myself that the purpose of the holiday is a change of scenery and keep my expectations low! If I had my way I probably wouldn't bother until youngest was 3.5/4 but DH and DC1 love going on holiday so I do it for their benefit.

I love being on holiday. I am much less stressed on holiday than at home.

Yes. My husband takes the opportunity to arrange fun stuff with the kids and spend more time with them, and cook, which he doesn't get to do as much at home. Ergo, I can take a back seat with the planning.

We also pick one activity to do per day, not several.

I had 3 DCs under 5 at one point and a great dane and we used to do a sea side caravan hol every year.

The car would only just about move under the weight of us all plus equipment (caravan was very basic as was 'pet friendly - ie small and shite so we had to take loads of stuff. Bedding, frying pans, pottys, loo seats, bottles, steriliser, washing line, pegs ect ect ect) and somehow we used to have lovely holidays.

Was it relaxing at any point for me? Well - maybe the odd 5 mins here and there when i was staring out to sea. But then it was back changing a nappy while catching a drippy ice cream before doing the whole sun cream rub again.

No, I find it very hard to relax at all since DS was born. I have no idea what the answer is.

I love holidays, and found them so much easier than being at home, whatever the age.

I don't really care about routine and refuse to be stressed out because of one.

Holidays were planned around the children to make MY life easier.
I researched everything before going, and had every day planned in case of heavy rain. So nice weather was a bonus, but no worry if it wasn't.

For anything longer than 2 nights, bags unpacked and content put away in wardrobes/drawers. Take 2 minutes and makes life easier.

Toddler can't sleep in their bed? They sleep in mine.

Because everything is new and interesting, no stress about entertaining. children. Bliss.

Yup. Taken mine abroad since 3 months old and love it. Husband a proper parent so does his bit. Reading/solo swimming etc time when baby naps. Yes you obvs look after them when awake but no cooking, washing etc which makes a huge difference. Both kids have autism but well used to travel.

Yes but we had the easy , "boring", sneered at on here holidays.

All inclusive abroad. Food, entertainment and cleaning on tap. Other children around to have fun with. We split the "make sure she doesn't die" task . We relaxed bedtimes a bit and we normally stay in ground floor apartment type places so we'd sit on the terrace together and chill,have a drink etc once she was asleep.

Haha haha ha No. holidays are not for the mothers benefit.

I've only got the one child (DS, 4), and holidays are delightful! I've taken him away alone and with DH. He's a decent sleeper now, but wasn't when younger, so a few trips were spent in a haze of tiredness, but we always had fun. I drop my usually high standards for cleanliness, healthy food and strict bedtimes - I don't mean we don't wash, live on chips or let DS stay up till midnight, moderation is key, but it makes things more relaxed if I'm not worrying about making sure he eats 5-a-day or has chocolate ice cream all over his t-shirt.

I think with more than one child it's exponentially harder, though, especially with an age gap that means they don't play together well.

I didn't when DS was between birth and 2.5 years as he was a very active baby/toddler - never still and took a lot of entertaining!

He's 7 now and I/we do relax. We arrived on holiday yesterday and managed to potter around a town and have a nice lunch before we went to the cottage. Then, DS played minecraft while me and DH sat on the patio with wine been out today which was lovely and again, we are all chilling now.

I do think it depends on the child/children though. Some kids are pretty chilled (like my DS), not fussy about food so you can eat pretty much anywhere
etc. Others struggle with different places/food/are more highly strung.

Yes but we only have one and she is a very easy and adaptable child who sleeps anywhere and doesn't mind her routine being messed with. I imagine it's much harder with multiples or if you're a single parent.

I don’t. Particularly when it’s self catered and I have all the work of being at home without any of the convenience and ease of actual being at home

I try to think of one enjoyable and achievable thing for myself on a holiday and fixate on that. Like a swim on my own or a particular type of food or place to visit etc. The rest is an endurance test.

@ObviousNameChage

Yes but we had the easy , "boring", sneered at on here holidays.

All inclusive abroad. Food, entertainment and cleaning on tap. Other children around to have fun with. We split the "make sure she doesn't die" task . We relaxed bedtimes a bit and we normally stay in ground floor apartment type places so we'd sit on the terrace together and chill,have a drink etc once she was asleep.

This sounds like an excellent plan - you've inspired me to book similar for December. Cuba here we come!

Self catering doesn't have to mean being stuck in the kitchen.
On one side you lose the pleasure of sitting down for a meal and leave when you finish, but there are advantages with young kids.

Get food from a local deli for example. Let the kids watch screens while you sit down and enjoy your meal with a glass of wine.

Kids can play in the property when you chill.

Yes of course I relax. There's no point in going otherwise. Dh does do his fair share and more of the house work and looking after our children though so that probably makes a massive difference. We also only go on cheap UK caravan holidays and don't worry about cooking, cleaning, laundry or bedtime routines or whatever either and just tend to go with the flow.

No. DH works hard on holiday too. Neither of us finds them remotely relaxing. It’s all about providing a great experience for DD.

Nope. Same shit in a different location.

^^ this, except at new location the knives are all blunt!

I found it ok.

The first holiday I has with the two of them ds1 was 3 and ds 2 was 6 months.
We went abroad 4 times a year, February may, August and October for years. When they were 5 and under DH came on all the holidays but once they were in junior school I was fine on my own.
The trick for me was to try and stay in routine as much as possible eg breakfast, lunch and tea at same time roughly and keep them busy during the day.
I'm not much of a worrier so that probably helps.