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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel this way about work.

42 replies

Rosebel · 23/07/2021 22:21

Is there anyone who hates their job to the extent it makes them sick every morning before going in?
My husband reckons no one likes their job but he doesn't know I've been sick before work (it's not pregnancy or a bug as it's been going on for a while and I'm fine when I'm off work).
No point in saying anything though. My husband just says I can stop working there when I get a new job.
Due in work tomorrow and can feel my stomach churning.
No real point to this but wondered if anyone understands how shit it is to feel like this about a job?
Not really relevant but I could afford to be out of work for a while but if I don't get a job within six months I'd have to rely on my husband which isn't really fair.

OP posts:
Needahug72 · 23/07/2021 22:26

YANBU but you do need to get out either without a new job to go too or start looking for a new job NOW!!

I’ve been there and although it’s hard you do need to get out. My job now has days where it’s super stressful but I don’t have that feeling of dread and wanting to throw up every morning when it gets even close to that it’s time to move on!

Gilbot · 23/07/2021 22:31

Op I sympathise. I once had a job I hated. I didn’t realise how much I hated it until I was involved in an accident and ended up in hospital and (once I’d established I was hurt but not seriously hurt) I was actually relieved to be in hospital because it meant I didn’t have to go to work. It was a wake up call and I left soon afterwards

Cocomarine · 23/07/2021 22:34

Not unusual at all, I’ve had several friends and family members describe exactly that.
You don’t mention whether you’re actively looking for another job though, and how confident you are of getting one?
I don’t think your husband is unreasonable to expect you to get another job first, if he doesn’t know how bad you’re feeling?

PopcornMuncher · 23/07/2021 22:39

I think you need to tell your DH how.bad it is. I also think you should be on sick leave from work.

Whiskycav · 23/07/2021 22:40

I understand OP, not the job I have now. But I needed up going sick for about 16 weeks and then handed my notice in.

I got a new job in between. I couldn't do it. I think its fairly common to not like working. But I don't think it's common to hate your job to the point you are ill.

Yes, lots people get ill through work stress. But getting sick at actually, going isn't normal.

CherryPieface · 23/07/2021 22:49

I’ve felt like this before. I started to fantasise about being run over on the way to work to avoid going in. Obviously that was a massive problem and I realised I needed a massive change of mindset. Concentrated on what I could do that was good around work. So every lunchtime went for long walk or yoga or similar. Tried to meet friends at other lunchtimes. Or just read a good book for an hour. In the background applied for as many jobs as possible and got a great one eventually. Good luck OP, hope you can find a solution xxxx

NotanothernamechangeforMN · 23/07/2021 23:15

Yes this was me a few years ago. I would cry & be sick more often than not, I knew it was time to hand in my resignation. Best thing I ever did. I applied for other jobs and got another within 2 months- when one closes, another door opens. 😊
Time to close that door. Xx

NotanothernamechangeforMN · 23/07/2021 23:15

*door

user1473878824 · 23/07/2021 23:17

Yes I’ve had a couple of jobs like this. Like @CherryPieface I used to think that if I got run over or fell down the stairs at least I wouldn’t have to go to work. Apply for something new and get out!

moolady1977 · 23/07/2021 23:18

I felt like that about my old job and ended up on sick because I was being sick and couldn't stop crying about having to go in . I got a new job ,the one I'm in now and I'm starting to feel that way about this one too but for different reasons

Attheheart · 23/07/2021 23:24

I think it's true that the vast majority of people do boring unrewarding work and don't enjoy their job (although apparently not on MN) but it shouldn't be making you ill.

What is it about the job that's so bad?

Is a period of sick leave to use for dedicated job hunting a possibility?

I tend to agree with DH that you need to find another job before leaving. A period of time away from work won't make it any easier find another job.

Hankunamatata · 23/07/2021 23:53

Look for a new job?

arcof · 24/07/2021 06:29

It's not normal. You need a new job

PumpkinPie2016 · 24/07/2021 07:00

Definitely not normal but I can sympathise.

I hated the last place I worked (not so much the job itself but the people/management). I got to the point of dreading going in and feeling sick. I teach and the end of every holiday was a nightmare because I'd be absolutely dreading going back.

I got a new job and have been much happier for the last 5 years I have been there. There are stressful days but I can honestly say I enjoy it.

Be honest with your DH about how bad you feel, including the being sick. Start actively looking for something else.

You don't say what area of work it is? Will there be jobs available? If not, can you do something else, even temporarily?

ZombeaArthur · 24/07/2021 07:12

I experienced a period of workplace bullying at my last job and I felt exactly the same way every day. Luckily the bullying was stopped, but the workplace was generally toxic so, although I was able to continue, I continually looked for other jobs and fortunately found one which is significantly better.

Seafog · 24/07/2021 07:13

It's understandable, but damn, you got to find another job. No way you should stay where it makes you feel so crap.

pinkcircustop · 24/07/2021 07:14

Yes, I have done. I quit without another job lined up.

Your mental health and happiness is more important.

livingwithbees · 24/07/2021 07:19

It’s not normal, I had it too and as others posters mentioned would fantasise about being in an accident in order to ‘get out’ of work (I could have been wheeled into surgery and my boss would still be demanding I answer the phone to her and tell her exactly how long my recovery would be, what procedure I was having, why I must be lying because she was soooooo clever etc etc) which is horrendously unhealthy. I got out at the beginning of this year when I realised that there had to be more to my life than living in constant fear of some person who thought they had the right to fuck with my life. As you can see I’m still not over it Grin

Flyingsatsuma · 24/07/2021 07:21

Have also felt this way. It’s stress. I have quit a couple of jobs and made up some random excuse for leaving, because of stress/bullying. I don’t do well under pressure and my mental and physical health suffers.

Di11y · 24/07/2021 07:32

Are you looking?

SmokeyDevil · 24/07/2021 07:40

Look for another job now, don't wait until you are out of work. Doesn't matter if you can live off savings for a few months, savings are meant for essentials, repairs, family stuff etc, not just taking 6 months + off work because you don't like your job. Start searching for new jobs and apply for them, you can easily work and do that. Loads of people do that, myself included. I hated my last job too, but couldn't just be out of work while I look for jobs, there are bills to pay.

HummingBeeBox · 24/07/2021 07:43

Yes, I felt like this in a managerial role working for an unrealistic, sexist, misogynistic boss's few years ago. I also felt like this housekeeping at Center Parcs. Both times I stayed too long but did leave in the end. I am now self employed which has its own new set of stresses but I much prefer it.

MoreAloneTime · 24/07/2021 07:44

While I confess I am one of those people who doesn't and probably will never like working I have also been in your situation. I remember at one point Googling how to break my wrist which was a bad sign.

Unless it's a temporary situation you need to plan an exit

violetbunny · 24/07/2021 07:45

I've had this in previous jobs, but not my current one. My current manager is really supportive, and I'm in a role that suits my skills better. Think it makes a world of difference.

Numnumcookie · 24/07/2021 07:57

Not normal.

My last job I dreaded going in and came home crying a couple of times. It was mostly due to be falsely accused of something by a patient and management just treated me like I was guilty instead of supporting me. Then they found masses of evidence found to prove my innocence once they actually started to look into it properly, but I never forgave them for the way they treated me up until that point.

Add lots of stress, poor diary management, a manager who was non clinical trying to tell the clinical staff how to do their job (without knowing any of the NICE guidelines we have to work to), accusing me of faking illness the 2 days I was off sick (norovirus) despite never calling in sick previously (over 4yrs there)....

I stuck it out until I got a new job, but looking back I should have gone on sick leave. As it was situational stress and anxiety not generalised, for some reason I thought I didn't deserve sick leave. Don't be me.

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